Loving the One I Should Hate Chapter 18
GRANT
“Are we done here?” I asked the group of suited professionals who sat across from me.Belongs to © n0velDrama.Org.
The meeting had devolved into random chatter about plans and general conversation. I didn't have time for conversation. Dylan rolled his eyes at me. He could tell I was reaching my limit. After two weeks of conference calls, and meetings just to calm a few nerves because I chose to take a vacation. I was antsy to be back with Mandy and life at the lakeside.
Istood and without much of an exit strategy, I left. I clearly wasn't actually needed for troubleshooting or planning. I was there to be a figurehead and make everyone feel needed and smart by sitting at the end of the table and nodding. If that's all my job was, no wonder I longed to escape back to the lake and Mandy.
Mandy. I closed my eyes and looked out over Lake Michigan. Mandy was in my thoughts every morning, every time I saw a body of water. She would forever be associated with summer and lakes in my mind.
She hadn't responded to any of my messages for the past few days. I needed to get up to her and make sure everything was okay. If I wasn't there and she needed me, I would never be able to make that up to her.
“Here's the report you wanted,” Mina said as she stepped in, her hand extended with the document I had requested.
I gave it a cursory glance before tossing it into my laptop bag. This time I was bringing my laptop to the lake. If all that was needed to calm a few nerves was a video conference for proof of life, I could manage that.
“Are you headed back to the lake? That seems so s00n, you just got back” Mina said.
“I don't know why I ever made heading up there into such a big deal. Its really not that far away."
“And it's a million miles different, isn't itz"
I knew she was talking about the day and night difference in attitudes and stress levels, but my immediate reaction was to think of how far away Mandy was from me at this moment. A million miles seemed reasonable, the distance between Mandy and myself seemed insurmountable.
“Itis a completely different way of life," I agreed. I let out a heavy breath. “I need to head out”
“You're just going to get caught in traffic”
“It's Chicago, there is always traffic”
“Well, yeah. I mean there will be more traffic if you leave now. You should give yourself some time. Leave after dinner. You won't get there too much later, and you'll spend a heck of a lot less time in traffic.”
She had a point. I saw a helicopter fly past into the thick of downtown's buildings.
“I should get one of those. I could be at the lake in minutes instead of hours."
Mina shuddered and had a serious look of distaste on her face. “And I'll be organizing a funeral. Don't make me have to find anew job.”
“Mina, I didn’t know you didn't like helicopters.”
“How many high-powered executives have thought they could fly a plane or a helicopter and ended up killing themselves and their families? I don't think so, Grant. 'm going to say that's a no for you."
I laughed at her protective nature.
“What if I hired a pilot?”
She continued to shake her head. “Is there a landing pad up there? I mean as long as you let the professionals do the flying, could allow you”
"I will keep that in mind." I hiked the strap of my laptop bag over my shoulder. And followed her out of my office.
“Hey, you know I'm right," she chastised.
“You're always right Mina, it's why I keep you around. I'l be back in a week”
“Enjoy the lake, remember to put lemongrass and citronella oil in your shoes to scare away the bugs”
In the elevator, I pulled out my phone and shot Mandy another message. I told her I would be up at the house late, and I gave her my door code. And hinted that I would really like for her to be waiting for me if she could swing it.
The headlights of my car illuminated a completely dark house. There was no sign of Mandy being there. Maybe she was asleep. She hadn't responded, maybe she wanted to surprise me.
She would be a delightful surprise. Being back in her arms was the only thing that kept me going forward on the days that I wondered what it was all about. I had more thoughts of my future since I had met her than I ever had before.
My life was work, drive, and acquire. But Mandy had me thinking about slowing down. Moving out of the high-drive energy o Chicago and living life at a more relaxed pace. She had me thinking that maybe she was why I had worked and focused so hard for so long. If I took a step back and put all of my focus on her, I wouldn't have any regrets.
I had built Agon Athletics because as a business model, sports was a perpetual trend with a new audience being born every year. The fact that I entertained the possibility of walking away so that I could keep her in my life was sobering.
My chest clenched when I got upstairs, and Mandy wasn't there. If my jet ski was tied up on the dock, I would ride over to he house immediately. I would throw rocks at her window like some love-sick kid. I could even imagine myself climbing to a non-existent balcony to woo her with quotes from Romeo and Juliet. But I had never memorized any of those lines. I didn't have any poetry memorized to impress Mandy with. The best I could do was find a vintage boom box and an old tape of “In Your Eyes” by Peter Gabriel.
The best I could do was have Mina locate all of that for me because if there was anyone who could do that, it was her.
I didn't have a boombox, and I was too tired to drag the jet ski out of the garage and roll the trailer down to the water. I coul have just let Mandy borrow it, or hell, even Scott, for the time I was in the city. But I had to be anal and put everything away as if I wasn't coming back. Just like I did every time I left the lake. I never knew how soon I would be back.
Sleeping without Mandy, without her scent on my pillows had been hard. It was even harder now that I was here, and she wasn't.
In the morning I headed out to the supermart to restock a few items I needed. I went ahead and did some grocery shopping while I was there. I expected to hear Mandy's laugh every time I turned a corner. When I first met her, I kept running into her and her friend. Now that I wanted to see her to the point of desperation, she was nowhere out and about.
In an embarrassing level of responsibility, I returned to the house and put away my shopping before I headed over to Mandy's house.
Asinking feeling in my stomach slammed into me as I pulled onto their street. My gut kept telling me something was wrong. didn't want to think about what it could possibly be. For her sake, I hoped her mother was all right. For my sake, I needed Mandy to be okay.
Their car wasn't in the drive. Their house was situated similarly to mine, with the front and focus of the home being toward the lake. The street-side barely had a lawn and was graveled in for off-street parking. Garbage cans and recycling bins were tucked up next to the house by the back door.
None of the curtains were pulled aside. That sinking feeling grew and became a sucking pull, like a black hole. I called Mandy's phone. There was no answer. There hadn't been an answer for a week.
Climbing out of the car, I shouted her name. I knocked on the back door and waited, but there was no answer. The walkway between houses was narrow and overgrown. Mandy and her mother needed to hire a landscaper. I would send mine over and cover the cost. It was the least I could do for the woman I was definitely falling in love with.
I stopped, wow. I pressed my palm against my chest. My heart thrummed with the realization that the feelings I had been having were love. I needed to find her, hopefully confessing such feelings so soon after having met her wouldn't scare her away.
Unfortunately, it seemed like something had scared her away. There was no one on the lawn by the lake. Their canoe wasn't moored at the dock. The house felt abandoned.
Mandy had said her mother wanted to move to the lake full time. This looked like they had already shut down for the seasor I tried the front door, knocking and ringing the doorbell, and calling out Mandy's name.
Looking in the windows, I only saw mounds of sheets. They had covered the furniture to look like monstrous ghosts. Where the hell was she? Was this why she stopped returning my messages? Had she tossed a sheet over me, turning me into some kind of ghost like the furniture? Was she done with me for the season?
I wanted to sit and wait for her to come home, like some lost puppy who finally made it back to the house, only my family had already moved. Mandy was gone. That sucking black hole in my core expanded and consumed me. I couldn't think or focus on what needed to be done next.
Isat in one of their Adirondack chairs and stared out at the water. I barely noticed the lake looked different from this side of things. From here I could see the small beach of the swim school where Mandy learned to swim. I could see the edge of towr from here. What I couldn't see was my side of the lake. I would have thought with how big Scott and Gracie’s house was, that itt was visible from across the lake. The bend on the shore made it impossible.
From my house, I thought I could see across the lake and into my future. From Mandy's, I could see so much, but not our future. I refused to admit the sudden depression that felt like oozing mud filling my veins was heartbreak.
Eventually, I climbed back into the car. I stopped off at the house long enough to grab my laptop bag and take the groceries across the lawn to Scott and Gracie. The food wouldn't keep on the drive back, and I didn’t know how long it would be befor I could bring myself to come back here.