Loving the One I Should Hate Chapter 31
MANDY
My heart barely knew how to maintain a steady beat. So much had happened in such a short amount of time. I felt like bursting. I wanted to smile, but I was afraid everything was too good to be true. I had a bruising grip on Grant's arm. I wiped my tears on the arm of his jacket and leaned into him.
He constantly touched me, stroked my hair, kissed me on the top of my head. Part of me felt this was too good to be true, it had to be a dream, and if I let go of him, he would vanish. My morning had gone from the world caving in around me, to clea skies and buttresses holding everything back in place.
It was almost too good to be true. I didn't want to put too much hope in the fact that everything was going so well. was terrified to jinx my situation. Something was bound to go wrong sooner than later. We made it to Mom's room, and I felt that familiar sinking in my stomach.
“Stay here," I said. I didn't want to let him go, but I had to clear the road ahead. Mom had been so angry when she found out I had been seeing him over the summer and then ignoring that I was pregnant with his child. I couldn't stroll into her room and casually announce that Grant and I were back together.
“I don't know how she'll react. I need to talk to her first. Please?”
Grant cupped my face in his hands. He kissed me gently, and then gave me a peck on the nose. “I'm not going anywhere, Mandy. You talk to your mom, and I will be right here waiting."
He glanced over his shoulder before looking back at me. “Okay, unless a nurse tells me to move. Which is a very real possibility. But—"
“I know what you mean. You won't be far."
“I won't be far, ever again.”
When he wrapped his large warm hands around my pregnant belly, I gasped. No one had touched the baby like that. Vivica would pat my belly like a pet, and Mom ignored its existence. But Grant held me reverently.
“I'm not missing another important moment. Not again. I love you.”
“Ilove you!" I had a sense of elation every time I got to say that to him. I would never get tired of it.
He kissed me one more time before I turned and pushed into Mom's room. It was the same. There had been no changes. The monitors beeped, the IVs dripped, the oxygen machine whirred, Mom slept.
Isat in the chair next to her and slid my hand into hers. “Hey Mom, you awake? Mom, I need you to hear a few things, so I need to know if you can hear me.”
She squeezed my hand, and I saw her eyes open and look at me. Her mouth opened, but I stopped her before she could speak.
“I just need you to listen. We've had a lot of really good luck. Amazing luck. Someone paid off the hospital.” My smile felt like it was going to break my cheeks. And for the first time in memory, I was crying tears of happiness. “The hospital can't tell me who, it was anonymous. It's all paid for."
I brushed at my never-ending flow of tears. I squeezed her hand and she squeezed back.
“I know, it's a miracle. And it came with a lot more miracles. I know you don't like Grant Carpenter. Hell, I tried to convince myself that I didn't either, but... love him, and—"
Mom tried to pull her hand away from me. She made a struggling, weak groan.
“Wait Mom, listen. Grant has cancelled the loan. He's sorry he didn't do it earlier. He didn't know who I was last summer, and I believe him. I mean, I didn’t know who he was. And we did fall in love. He still loves me, and I love him. He wants to help; h wants to take care of us. He wants me to keep MiMa Play.”
“Mandy,” my name sounded like the rustling of dried leaves.
“Sh, Mom. It's okay. It really is. If you don’t want him coming to the hospital he won't, but he said he would sit with you so that I could get some rest. He's willing to cover any more fees. He wants you to get better too.”
“Love you,” her words were barely above a whisper.
“Can I bring him in? Will you meet him?”
Mom squeezed with all of her strength. I realized I didn't know if that meant yes or no.
“Give me a long single squeeze for yes, and two short ones for no.”
She squeezed and held my hand. Yes. I sat back with a deep inhale and clapped my hands. She was willing to meet Grant. “Okay, I'm going to go get him.”
Grant leaned against the far wall of the hallway. There weren't many clear places for him between all the mobile nurse's stations and orderly carts, and all the equipment they needed at a moment's notice but did not necessarily need at that exact moment. He pushed off the wall when our eyes made contact. He always had impeccable posture, but he looked slightly deflated. When I nodded, he stood up straighter, taller.
His suit coat hung over one arm, and his tie was gone. He looked noticeably less wrinkled than he had when I stepped out that elevator. Maybe his appearance had reflected how he felt, and now that we were back together, he was more substantia I hung off his arm. Happy to be able to touch him, smell him again.
“She's tired, she can't talk much. The treatment leaves her very dry-mouthed.”
“I'll follow your lead,” he said. From the look in his eyes, I felt he meant more than just meeting my mom. My heart skipped 2 beat, and butterflies fluttered through my veins.
“Mom, I want you to meet Grant Carpenter,” I announced as we stepped up to the side of her bed.
I pushed Grant into the chair next to her. “Mrs. Wilson, it is a pleasure to finally meet you. I know we all wish the circumstances were better. I cannot express my sincere apologies for the stress I have added to your lives.’
He paused and ran a hand over his face.
“Mandy is a very special woman, and she has my heart. I don't expect you to be a fan of mine right away, but I hope you will give me the opportunity to earn your trust”
My jaw fell open when Mom lifted her hand and Grant took it. I couldn't tell if she was squeezing one long one for “yes, or if she was signalling “no! Grant wrapped his second hand over hers.
“You have a good strong grip. Don't worry about Mandy, or anything else. I'm here to take care of her, so she can take care of you. All you have to do is get better”Contentt bel0ngs to N0ve/lDrâ/ma.O(r)g!
Mom's hand went limp, and her face went slack.
“Mom?”
She was so still.
“Mom!”
A nurse came in hearing my yelling. “Is everything okay here?”
All could do was point at Mom.
A second nurse followed her in. They immediately began checking her vitals, and the machines, and the IV, and all the thing that they did. But it seemed more rushed, more intense than normal.
Grant wrapped an arm around my middle and guided me away from Mom's bed. He stepped back into the corner under the television we had never turned on.
“Sh, let them work. You can see her from here."
“What's going on?” I pleaded, but no one answered me.
Finally, one of the nurses left and the other one turned to me. “She's fine. She must have over-exerted herself. She simply passed out. She's asleep. Everything is fine."
I'turned into Grant. The tears that hadn't spilled during the panicked moments of not knowing what was happening finally fell. I cried into him again. He was my rock, and now that he was here, I clung to him. His arms wrapped around me. I wasn't aware of specifics, he was holding me, and that certainly helped. But right now, I couldn't think of anything that would make it all better other than Mom not being in the hospital.
Iwas so tired. Suddenly I needed to sleep. I leaned against Grant, needing him to hold me up.
“Mandy?” His voice was full of concern.
“I'm so tired. Will you take me home? I don't think I should drive”
I don't remember walking, but I knew I had to.
“Hold tight, I'll be right back.” Grant helped me to sit on a bench. It was outside of the hospital doors, in the weather. It was cold and dreary, but at least the bench was out of the wind. Grant wrapped his suit coat over my shoulders. He had to have been freezing, but he kept smiling softly at me, making sure I was alright.
Asleek black car stopped in front of us, and Grant helped me into the passenger seat, fastening my seat belt. He took advantage of our close proximity and gave me a kiss. It wasn't passionate, it was the kind of kiss you could give someone when you were committed together. It was a reminder of what we had. It was the kind of easy kiss because he could kiss me, and I would let him.
He squeezed my knee when he slid in behind the driver's wheel and eased the car onto the street.
Ishould have closed my eyes, but I kept looking at him, studying his face. I had missed him so much. I had missed letting myself feel this way about him.
“I didn't ask, but when you held Mom's hand," I started.
“Yes?”
“Did she squeeze your hand at all?” I was terrified to find out if she had.
Grant chuckled. “Your mom is going to be all right. She has quite the grip. She squeezed and didn't let go until she passed out”
Isat up, eager for confirmation. “One squeeze?”
“Yeah? Why? Is that important?” he asked.
“One squeeze means yes. 50, she was saying yes. Grant," I started blubbering again. It had been an overly emotional morning, and I was still processing it all.
He reached over and took my hand, giving me a single long squeeze. “It's going to be okay, Mandy. I'm here now, we can handle anything together.”
“Promise?” I asked.