Chapter 24
We sat on the floor, her legs were draped over mine as her back leaned against my broken bed. My back was against the wall and her fingers were intertwined in mine.
"So...you saw him from a balcony twice. You know he is your mate. You keep dreaming about him and this time you met him, you talked. It did not go well and you woke up."
I nodded, my head was leaned back against the wall, and my eyes were closed. Somewhere in the middle of the explanation, I had stopped crying. It didn't feel better though, my heart still hurt with every beat.
"How do you know if he actually hates you?"
"You didn't see his face that day, Rose. Leo could tell you. It nearly brought me to my knees. He was livid. He was still fair and still advised the council on our situation but he was so angry. He didn't even stay for the rest of the meeting, he left and slammed the door so loud behind him even some of the High Councilors flinched."
She nodded but narrowed her eyes. "How do you know that it was even him in the dream? What if you're just projecting your insecurities in the form of him? That your subconscious is building him?"
"It would be hard to explain. I just...know. It happens and I can tell the difference between the dreams. The ones where I'm reliving the same moment of seeing him. This was different, felt different. On top of that, I don't even think my subconscious could come up with the thought of rejection. Of us rejecting him..." My sentence trailed off as I tried to breathe through the pain.
Rose squeezed my hand, helping me refocus and not give into the panic attack. "Zeke, why didn't you say anything?"
"What could I do, Rose? 'Hey it turns out history is repeating itself for our pack?' Hell, even Vale knew about Alpha King Odin and Alpha Eros. Plus, if Leo found out..."
Her nose wrinkled as she grimaced. "We are going to have to tell them eventually. When I have this child, either we will have a couple years before they realize he isn't going to present himself as an Alpha or we will have no time cause he's going to come out with a full head of red hair."
I chuckled. “With how much heartburn you've had, he's probably got a full mane."
"Goddess, you are so fucking right." She laughed and shook her head, her hand absently rubbing her stomach. "I'm serious though. We need to tell them."
"Then what, Rose? The elders get pissed. Remove your title? Throw another she-wolf at me? Anyone unmated at this point is between eighteen and twenty. I would know, I sign the paperwork. I'm not mating with a child.”
She chuckled. "How old is the Alpha King? Leo keeps calling him a college aged twat."
I let off a growl and it made her laugh harder. "Leo is so going to regret his attitude later. I want to be there for that."
"I don't know how old he is."
"You didn't do any digging on him? Who he is? Who is family is? Nothing?"
I shook my head and she threw her hands in the air. "Ezekiel Silver, you should be ashamed of yourself!"
"I'm sorry. I'm not snooping around like a stalker."
Rose shook her head and sighed. "He's obviously done some research on you. I mean, he must have been so sad. We've kept our secret and so the outside world believes you are mated and have a pup on the way. He must have found out between the first meeting and the second."
I felt the tears start to come back but I took a couple of calculated breaths. "I would have probably felt the same as him. Especially if I was younger. He didn't even have a chance."
"What do you want to do?"
I looked at Rose, her eyes were watching me, gaging my reaction or my emotions. My eyes left hers and I looked down at our legs. My hands reached out and started to massage her ankles as I chewed on her question. A small smile came to my lips when I heard her moan.
"I don't know."
"That's a lie."
My eyes narrowed as I massaged her swollen ankles harder. "It's not. My head is telling me don't be stupid. My family is here, my friends, my life. Literally, my entire bloodline is here. I am Alpha and I have my place. This pack trusts me to do my duty and to act accordingly."
"But...that's your head. What does you heart want?"
My hands stopped for a moment, holding her. "Rose, I want to say fuck it. I want to pass my title to Owen and throw myself into the arms of my mate. I want to somehow have a family with him, to give him all the love he deserves. I want to be there for him in everything. And goddess above I want him to fuck me so bad."
Rose snorted and slapped my arm. I chuckled and went back to kneading her ankles. Sighing, I added. "Life doesn't work out how we want it. The elders are going to find that out when that tuff of bright red hair crowns in a few weeks and I have to accept my fate."
"I think you're wrong. I think the moon goddess knew exactly what she was doing." She leaned forward and took my chin in her hands. "Your brother was supposed to be Alpha. He was the older one and so you would have been free to go with your mate."
"But my brother's dead, Rose."NôvelDrama.Org owns © this.
She inhaled sharply. “I know that, Zeke. But you also aren't the only Silver. Owen is his son and should have taken over anyways. He already has a mate and you know they will most likely start having pups soon. He's going to be neen this year. The boy was supposed to take over four years ago at the earliest. You've just been protecting him."
"He doesn't want it."
"Neither did you!"
I growled. “Then how can I force it on him, Rose? Knowing what I had to do, how can I force this position on him?"
“Because it's where he belongs, Zeke! You think it's any coincidence that we never had pups for all the sex we had? Because it was never supposed to be your line that continued on here. You were always meant for Vale."
"So I'm just supposed to say, 'fuck it'? Throw the title on Owen and leave? Leave everyone behind? You, Cory, Leo?"
She laughed. "Who said we weren't going to go with you, dumb ass?"
My eyes widened. "No way. How could you? You have..."
"The same exact people you do, Zeke. If we all go together, that's our family. Owen is young and he has his own support system. Leo won't be Beta and Cory maybe could be Gamma but he will go where I go. I don't know how happy your mate will be having your ex-Luna, ex-mate with you, but I'm willing to fight for the right." Tears shinned in my eyes again and she laughed. "Hey! Don't stop. You're hands are like magic. Cory just rubs them and they get all red."
I chuckled and nodded. As my hands massaged her feet, I looked for the clock on the wall but it wasn't there. Leaning forward, I caught the time on the floor.
"I have to be at training in thirty minutes."
"Then I get twenty-five more minutes of massage." She closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the bed. "I'll try to have this cleaned up by the time you come back."
I took her hand and kissed it. "Thank you, Rose. I'm sorry I didn't talk about it sooner. I should have I just...'
,
"Were scared? Confused? Lost?"
Nodding, I smiled at her. “All of that and more."
"I wonder what he meant by 'take care of my mom'."
I shrugged. "I have no idea."
A quiet fell between us and we just sat, as I massaged her feet, ankles, and calves. Every once in a while a moan would escape her as I hit the right spot and I would smile. Ten minutes passed before her eyes opened and she had a determined look on her face.
"I have to..."
"Have to what?"
Her face turned serious and I realized I was going to get a lecture. "Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately?" "Yes? Every day, Rose. How else am I supposed to know I look like a mangy mutt when I walk around the pack house?" "Ha-ha, very funny. I mean it. Zeke. You're rail thin. When was the last time you ate a full meal?"
My eyes fell on the container that was half eaten, now jammed between two shelves of the broken desk. "Since I came back."
"Months? Zeke!" Her voice went higher and she looked at me worriedly.
"I'm fine, Rose. I do eat. Donna makes sure I do. I still work out as much, if not more. Everything just tastes like ash in my mouth. It's hard to swallow anything." I admitted truthfully.
"Ash? Are you serious?"
I nodded. "I've tried everything. Donna's cooking, restaurants, prepackaged food, hell even the game Faris finds. It all turns to ash in my mouth. It smells fine. But I just...stomach as much as I can before I can't..."
Rose pulled her feet off of my legs and moved to kneel next to me. Her hands cupped my face. "Zeke, you need your mate. You need to be with him. This is more than just a fated pairing. You need him. He needs you."
"He hates me, Rose. How could he need me or want me?"
"You're wrong. I think, in fact, that he loves you more than you love him right now. I think the pain and anger you see is the only way he can get up in the morning alone and go to bed alone. Don't mistake that for him not wanting to be with you. I think he wants to be with you more than you know." Standing up, I lifted Rose up onto her feet gently so she wouldn't need to try and get up on her own. I kissed her cheek.
"Thank you. I need to change into training clothes. These sweats won't fly."
Rose chuckled and nodded. "Probably grab a shirt if you don't want to scare the guys."
"Scare them?"
"That their Alpha is wasting away."
I rolled my eyes and shook my head. The door closed behind her but I was already in my closet. Grabbing a black t-shirt and some athletic shorts, I changed into them before heading out of the pack house. Since I was running late, I avoided the kitchen so that Donna's lecture would absolutely ruin the entire training session.
"Look who decides to show up."
I smiled at Owen and clasped his arm. "I haven't missed a day of training. I just haven't done it with you all."
“Sure, Alpha, sure. If that's the case, then let's start off with some sparing and work our way through."
Taking a deep breath, I felt a familiar peace and excitement settle in as we got ready to train. Something about leaving everything you have been thinking about behind to fight. Feeling only the muscle movements and sometimes your opponents next move. Cracking my neck and stretching my arms, I stepped up to the sparing mat as Owen took off his shirt.
Honestly, I was a little jealous. Being the second born, I was always smaller. I barely could call myself 6ft. I was built on the smaller side but Owen took after both my brother and my father. He was about the height as my mate and bulkier. How Vale's hands grabbed my hips though and pulled me to him, I'd never been so happy to be on the smaller side. I fit against him perfectly.
"Pay attention, Alpha."
Even with my mind on my mate, I still dodged his swing. Owen was predictable. He had taken his shirt off and I could see every move of his muscle and where he was going to punch or hit next. I had been sparing with him so many years that it was easy to zone out sometimes. He may be the head warrior but he still hadn't beat me in a fight.
Smiling, I allowed him to gain a little ground before I started to slip under his attacks and break down his guard. Little by little, he started to fall back and I hit my stride. He started to growl and I watched as his claws came out but I dodged them at the last second. They caught my shirt and tore it off. Chuckling, I managed to grip his wrist and pull it behind his back. My foot swept under him and he fell, his arm still pinned to his back. Digging my knee into his back, I smiled as I pinned him.
"Zeke...what the hell...?"
I looked up and the entire training group had stopped their sparing, staring at us. It was Leo was who was looking at me worriedly.
"What?" I looked down but there wasn't any blood or anything. "What happened?"
My knee came up off the back of Owen and he flopped over, his eyes widening as well. He jumped up and walked up to me. His hand first touched
my forehead and I flinched.
"Are you sick?"
"No...what?"
Owen looked at me seriously and his voice came over our mind link. 'You look like you're dying, uncle.'