ALWAYS AND FOREVER

Kathy Pov

“What? You would choose her over me?”

I asked trying as much as possible not to give him any reactions.

“Don’t make me answer that, you wouldn’t like my answer,”

He said he wasn’t even looking at me, he was looking everywhere else but at me, which was okay because I didn’t want those eyes on me either.

“Dude, I already know your answer so it won’t be a new thing, guess what? I am used to people not choosing me, so it won’t hurt like you think it will,”All text © NôvelD(r)a'ma.Org.

“Is that so?”

He asked, I actually wanted to laugh at him but I just kept it in, I didn’t want to give him any reactions, he didn’t deserve it, he would choose her over me? he was just coming home for the first time in three days and he dared to tell me, his mistress will be moving in with us, and that’s the only reason he even came back because if not I am sure he wouldn’t have come back to this house, well, like I told him, if she moves in here then we are done, I ain’t gonna sit and watch the son of a Bitch do such to me, even my dad never did that to my mom, I grew up with my both parents, now I am thankful that the pregnancy test came out negative, I won’t want my child born into this kind of a home, I was raised in a home where even though my parents were never around but they were a team, and never ever fought, that’s the kind of home I want for my kids too and for a short moment I thought that this was it, I thought I found it.

“I don’t care if you choose me or not, I admit I fell for your pretense and actually fell in love with you but I got back to reality real quick, slammed with reality before I was in too deep, I am thankful for that, but one thing is sure, I won’t be here while you bring your mistress in alright?”

I said and mentally patted myself for how calm my voice was, I am not going to lie and say it doesn’t hurt, it does, these past few days has been hell for me, I cry myself to sleep and wake up crying too, I tried not to but I couldn’t help it, the only time I wasn’t crying was when I was in school or when I am doing the project and videoing calling Marilyn, we grew close in the last two days, she was on temporary leave from work due to a minor accident she had, so she had more time for our project, we had plans to meet up tomorrow too, she has become my first close friend since I came to New York.

“You seem so sure,”

“Why? You thought I would be crying and beating myself? Like you said our marriage is not even a real one so why should I kill myself? When me dying will only profit you, yes I admit that I have feelings for you but just give me a few more days or maybe weeks and whatever I feel for you now will be off,”

I replied.

“I don’t care what you feel, I don’t even want to hear it, it’s on you if you fell for me, fix it yourself, but just know that Ginna is coming here, you can move out if you want,”

“And you think it’s going to be that easy to get rid of me?”

“Why? You said you wanna move out or are you going to go cry to your mom and dad? Let me remind you, they were so quick to get your name off the family register, and you think they will accept you back?”

“That’s low Cross, but it doesn’t get to me, if you think you can hurt me with words then think again,”

I replied, his words did hurt, but he was wrong, if I want out and decided to go back home my dad will be there for me, but I wasn’t going to move back with my family, even if u do end up leaving, I don’t want them to see me as a failure, my other sisters both had luck, I don’t want their pity stares, which is one of the reasons I have been avoiding Betty and Nora, if ever I am going back home, I won’t go back as a failure no, I will stay here in New York, graduate and make a name for myself, that my family won’t even think about my failed marriage.

“I can do even more bitch, I can go even lower, so watch what you say,”

“On a second thought let her move in, let her,”

I said laughing, laughing was better than crying or being sad, that’s what he wants to we but I will not give him that, if he wanted trouble he was going to get it double, I ain’t gonna leave my home for any mistress so, if she moves in I can be petty, I will give her hell.

“Don’t even think of doing anything stupid, I will throw you out,”

He said, and I actually busted out laughing, I couldn’t keep myself from laughing, the dude really thought it was that easy.

“Cross, whether you like it or not, we are married, if you wanna be with your mistress you should consider being on my good book then maybe I can set you free so you can be with her because let her move in, let her do whatever she wants, if we don’t go our separate ways, she will only remain the other woman,”

I said.

“Stop calling her my mistress, that’s disrespectful and she is not your mate,”

“Then what should I call her? My husband’s other woman? It’s pretty much sound the same to me,”

“You crazy woman, if only you would just get it that nothing is going on between Ginna and me then we won’t be having this discussion,”

He said and I resisted the urge to scream and bite him, he really took me for a fool, I don’t know who it was but someone has been making sure that I know that Cross was with her, going as far as sending receipt of the money sent to her, he sent her three million, that’s a lot for some one who claims there is nothing between them, and to crown it all whoever sent those sent a message saying I should count my days here, also sent me a photo of the said lady, and I agree that she was pretty but I am prettier and curvier than her, I feel it’s her sending those, just to make me mad and jealous, I don’t know what she hopes to gain from that, I wanted to tell the moron but I know he won’t believe me so there was no need.

“Cross, don’t even bother denying it okay, there are proofs of your affair everywhere,”

“What proof? Photos taken by attention-hungry bloggers?”

“Hmm, yeah that and also the three million you sent her among other things,”

“How do you know that? Have you been following me about? Are you spying on me? Have you lost your mind?”

“Why will I do that, anyway, I don’t wanna have this conversation anymore, I have an early morning class tomorrow and I need to sleep, you can tell your mistress she is welcome but whatever she sees, she has better bear it,”

I said and left him standing there, he kept calling for me to come back but I didn’t listen to him, I went up to the room I have been using, closing the door I rested my back on it as the tears that I have been hiding let loose, this whole thing was going further than I thought, if that lady moves in, I don’t think I will be same seeing her being all over Cross, or them being in love, this shit only happens in movies, never have I thought I would experience it in reality, and I was much too young and unprepared for this, I didn’t even know what to do or how to act.

“Open the door Katherine I am not done talking, you don’t walk out on me while I am still talking, open the fucking door,”

Cross said banging on the door, I locked it and went to lay on the bed, he can stand there all night long, I don’t care, I have said all I want to him, well not all but if I say more I might end up begging him to love me, begging him to choose me and stay with me and that would be shameful, begging for love is a shameful act I am never going to commit.

Despite his constant knocking on the door, I went to sleep without answering, he left a text on my phone and I didn’t bother to read it before deleting it, I didn’t want anything that would hurt me so early in the morning, I woke up early, earlier than I use to I took my bath got dressed, and left the house before he woke up, I didn’t want to see him in the morning, that would ruin my day, even more, I drove around for a while before going for class, ever since the incident with Louis, I always made sure to look around for a sight of him but so far, he hasn’t shown his face yet, I hope it stays that way, the day I met him again was the day I started having problem in my home, he was a stroke of bad luck I didn’t want to come across again. After class, I went straight to Marilyn’s house, we worked on our project together, she was welcoming as always, I had fun with her and really forgot my issues for a while.

“What’s going on girl?”

She asked when we sat in silence after we were done, I looked up at her wondering what she was on about.

“What do you mean?”

“Are you okay? You look sad, don’t get me wrong I don’t know you much but compared to the last time you were here, you look like you are going through something, see you are frowning right now,”

She said calmly, her calm voice made my eyes water, I wasn’t used to people asking me what’s going on, I was always a loner, at home when my siblings left, in school when Juliet and I stopped being friends and here in New York, the only person that used to be there was no longer there.

“Hey don’t cry, it will be fine, I don’t know what’s going on but I promise, it’s will turn out fine,”

She said hugging me, I cried while in her arms, she didn’t ask any questions and just let me cry it all out after which she made a drink for me.

“I am not going to ask, but if you need someone to talk to I am always here,”

She said and I smiled weakly at her.

“Thank you, Marilyn, I am so grateful,”

I said meaning it, she did so much for me and she just doesn’t know it.

“No need for thank you among friends, just don’t keep things in okay?”

“Yes,”

I replied, she saw me off to my car, I already knew Cross wasn’t going to be there when I get home so I didn’t bother to go home directly, I went to a small carnival that was being organized and watched the performances, I stayed until about ten pm before I drove home, when I parked my car, I was surprised to see him standing there, looking at me with dead glares.

“Where the fuck have you been and why haven’t you been taking your calls?”

He barked…