Bad Boy Isn’t My Type

I am so afraid of it. I am afraid of the consequences. I know it will come sooner or later. All those bottled up emotions just erupt out of me, and it’s frightening.

I don’t want to hurt anyone. I hate it. But I can’t do anything about it. I spurt out all those terrible words, most often not even meaning them. I don’t mean a single f***ing thing, but it doesn’t matter anymore.

I am all f***ed up in my life and there’s no way out, you can’t help with that Jennie, it’s too late for anything.

It’s too late……

More tears flowed freely from my eyes, drowning me into old despair.

How could one person feel so lost? Why it made humans fall into such despair and feel there was no way out?

There were so many things that upset us. Why was there so much darkness, suffering, bleeding, hurt, and hate?

Then, there were disorders, which chained people-labeling them-like they were born with some mistake, like they didn’t have the right to live a normal life……

I am sick and tired of it.

I am sick and tired of this cycle.

I can’t even understand myself, it’s frustrating…… sometimes I can control it, but some other times I completely screw everything up, and I hate myself.

People are right, each and every one are right…… I am mentally sick, maniac, psychopath, lunatic guy and I am a disease!

There is nothing good about me. And even if I do something remotely good, I destroy it the next day so that it can never be recovered.

Nothing can cure me, not even that f***ing therapy sessions, it’s too late. I am destroyed already, dead from inside out. I just want to die already.

But then why there’s a tiny flame dragging me selfishly to survive, to live making me believe that she will come.

My Eva will come back to me.

” I really love you Vincent, I didn’t mean to hurt you…… Please forgive me…… I only love you only you……”

Hot tears spilled from my eyes, and I slowly drowned in that old despair, unaware of anything around me. My whole head was prickling now. My heart was beating so fast I feared it would burst. I couldn’t stop my tears and it flowed against will.

Eva……

Why did you leave when you said you loved me? Why do you promise so much one moment and abandon me the next moment?

If I rip my heart out for you would that enough for you?

My blood and tears are not enough for you?

If I became the version of me you created, would that be enough for you?

I layed down on the ground, curling my legs against my chest, tears sliding through the side of eyes down to the ground.

I can’t do this anymore Eva……

I am not doing good here…… it’s killing me…… I dying here……ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

Please come back to me Eva…… I can’t bear this anymore…… I can’t live without you…… life has become unbearable without you…… Eva……

Jennie Wilson POV

I still couldn’t believe Hayden was gone for good and I was happy for him, he deserved happiness and I know he was helpless in front of his parents, he had to do this.

A pang of hurt rushed through my chest, but I didn’t dwell on it. I am just happy that Lisa and Hayden are out of this mess now.

To be frank I could never understand Vincent. What was his problem? He doesn’t want me to be with anyone but he himself tells me to stay away from him and his business.

Everything was a blur next to him. Everything was confusing and twisted, and this ever-present sadness was crushing me.

His one insult was enough to make me fall apart, but one moment with him, he showed soft side of him too which was way too confusing.

He’d experienced so many ugly moments in his life, and I sometimes felt a deep need to erase all that sorrow from his heart. He doesn’t allow me to heal him neither he pushes away me completely.

I can’t even escape from him no matter what…… am I stuck with him completely for my whole life?

My eyes suddenly landed on someone I didn’t wanted to see and everything froze in me. Vincent Ainsworth.

He was walking with a notebook in his hand. To my surprise his hand was taped with bandages.

Why is his hand covered with bandage tapes?

Did he get into fight again?

My pulse kicked up when his gaze suddenly locked with mine almost an instant later, and I felt like everything muted around me.

He was impassive, and it astounded me to see there was nothing in his eyes-no rage, no coldness, no emotion.

Then suddenly something flared in his eyes, and he wasn’t composed anymore, his blank face becoming a mask of fury.

Was he going to finish what he started on canteen? Would he strangle me in front of all these people?

He completely averted his gaze, clenched his hand so hard that the notebook he carried almost crumbled with pressure he was creating on it.

He suddenly walked away abruptly without even sparing a glance or throwing a single baseless insult.

What was that?

Did he just ignore me just like that????

I watched him walk away abruptly and I was completely appalled by his behaviour, not that I don’t appreciate it, I always wanted Vincent to walk away without hurting me, but when he was actually doing it, it was completely indigestible.

I closed the locker and went to attend my classes. Time passed by and I attended all my classes, I didn’t have classes afternoon today.

I decided to go to home straightly because the canteen scene still haunted my mind. Suddenly I felt somebody pounced on me and I almost lost my balance and I wobbled.

” Jennie!!!!!!!” Harper chirped snaking her arm around my neck, Rose too pounced on us.

” What the…… Don’t have class?” I asked amusingly as Rose and Harper cuddled me, squishing me in their embrace.

” Nope! Today our lecturer didn’t come and all decided to mass bunk rest of the classes too since they were boring!” Harper chirped and somebody laughed.

Shoot! Taeyong was also present with us, why wouldn’t he be…… after all he was her bodyguard.

” Oh this is Taeyong! Jisoo’s brother I told you about!” Harper chimed holding his arm.

He eye smiled at her goofiness and then he looked at me offering a weak bland smile. His eyes pierced through me, it felt like we were in glaring contest, he definitely knew that I knew his real motive staying here with Harper.

I looked at him impassively after all he belonged to Blake’s group, I definitely don’t trust him.

” Let’s go to eat……” Rose chirped pulling me with her.

” Yes let’s go!” Taeyong chirped lacing his hands with Harper almost pulling her deadly close to him.

What the……

I broke the contact between them, pulling her with me…… and glared at him and he glared back at me irritated.

Don’t you dare touch her inappropriately!

He rolled his eyes and suddenly pushed me pulling her towards him, rendering me speechless and he walked ahead of us dragging Harper with him and Harper laughed as Taeyong was saying something to her.

What the hell is wrong with him!? Is he a kid or what!?

We walked towards canteen and the pounding in my chest grew stronger. I let out the breath I’d been holding, battling with the incoming memory of that incident.

Chill Jennie!

Don’t be afraid…… see even Harper and Rose are here, nothing bad will happen…… be strong!!!!

You can do this!!!!!!

We placed food in our tray and walked towards the counter. My bravery flew off instantly, rattling me to the core in shock. Everyone was present…… the whole forte. Emma, Xavier, Jisoo, Aaron, Blake and Vincent.

” Xavier!!!!” Rose shouted waving her hand and whole group turned towards and everything shook in me.

I didn’t wanted to look but my eyes betrayed me landing particularly onto the guy I didn’t wanted to look at.

He looked at me for a second, but he frowned instantly, his eyes held bitter anger, adding new layers of tension in me, holding sway over me……

He soon averted his eyes, landing back to the plate. Rose pushed me to walk ahead and to my horror we were walking towards them, according to me, to the lion’s mouth.

” Come sit here!” Jisoo patted the empty seat next her, smiling brightly at me. I kept the tray on the almost ready to sit, Vincent got up abruptly rattling me, keeping the spoon with a loud thud on the plate.

” What the……” Blake looked at him completely shook by his behaviour.

He was actually leaving the counter and he started walking away. ” Hey Vincent! Where are you going? You haven’t finished the food!!!” Emma shouted as he was leaving.

” Hey bro!” Blake almost caught his arm but Vincent pushed him and Blake stumbled, rendering all of us speechless by his behaviour.

” Don’t you dare follow me if you don’t want this to turn ugly!” He hissed at Blake becoming angrier with each second, visibly tensing.

Surprisingly, Blake backed off, raising his hands as in surrender, letting him go, best was not to provoke him and Blake chose the right move.

What is happening????

” We need to talk to Wilson” Blake looked at me in an accusing stare, and I looked at him like I am not the culprit here, shrugging my shoulders.

The current bundle of nerves had been piling up in my chest as he glared at me and I had no choice but to follow him. I walked towards Blake and as soon we exited the canteen, Blake faced me giving death chilling glare. ” What did you do now?”

” Nothing! I swear I didn’t do anything! He hasn’t talked to me since then! He acted the same way in the morning too, I don’t know what’s going on his mind.”

Blake frowned and focused on some spot on the ground in front of him, his eyebrows drawn together. He looked like he was having an internal debate with himself.

……

Days passed by and surprisingly Vincent kept on ignoring me. Whenever we crossed path he walked away abruptly in opposite directions, not forgetting the hatred glare he gave me first before he pulled off.

He was never home whenever I visited too. It looked like he was completely avoiding me at any cost, which was absolutely fine by me. Did sun rise from other direction?

He didn’t even sit with his forte anymore, I wonder what was going on his mind now. It’s been two months…… he hasn’t looked at me even once.

My last internals was almost getting over, which meant only external exams were left and the 1st semester was coming to end…… only one month to go.

We had only few classes since syllabus was getting over. I decided to study in the college library as externals was approaching soon.

I bought hot coffee as I need it while studying, it kept me away from dosing off often.

As I was walking past the crossover I dashed into someone and to my horror the disposal cup slipped and spilled all the hot coffee on the person.

” What the-” The person hissed and my I looked at him in horror.

Vincent!!!!