45
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My bedroom at my father’s house was more welcoming after I’d returned from Poland than it is today. Nothing in here has the sense of home. Even my bed feels off when I sit on it. I’ve only been gone a few days, and already my past drifts into the distance.
“Need any more boxes?” Niko brings in another box that he’s taped up for me to fill and drops it next to the dresser.
“This should do it,” I say, looking at the other four he’s made for me.
He looks around at what I’ve already accomplished in the two hours we’ve been in my father’s house. Six boxes sealed and ready for moving, and three suitcases. Shit, maybe Micah’s right to call me a princess. I haven’t even packed my out-of-season clothing yet.
My cheeks heat at the thought of Micah. He had already left the apartment this morning when I gathered up the courage to go to the kitchen. I was lucky to avoid the awkwardness. Or maybe he wouldn’t think anything was out of the ordinary. Maybe he spanked all of his past girlfriends and it was just another evening by his standards.
But it wasn’t for me.
“I’ll bring the suitcases down to the car. I think we can fit probably three of the boxes, so just let me know which three you want today. The rest will have to be moved tomorrow.”
I silently nod and turn back to my dresser, picking up my mother’s music box. Tears sting my eyes as I open the lid and the soft melody plays. I wish I could remember more of her than just this song. It’s been years since I saw her face clearly in my memory or remembered the smell of her perfume.
I’m packing up my entire life into boxes. My father isn’t home; the housekeeper said he had a meeting or some nonsense. I have no one here, and no one where I’m going.
“Lena?” Dominik’s voice carries from the hallway.
Quickly, I snap the box closed and wipe the lone tear from my cheek.
“Here,” I call.
Dominik saunters into my room, taking one look at the boxes and a dark cloud covers his features.
“Dad’s not here,” I say and pack the music box away.
“I know. Micah told him to stay away, that’s why I’m here.”
I huff. “Micah tells our father to jump and he does?”
“I think he couldn’t face you.” Dominik maneuvers around the boxes to me, glancing down at the half-packed box.
“Why not? This is my duty, right? To marry into some family that will bring our family prosperity?” I drop my hands from the dresser. I don’t want anything else from this room. It’s all tainted with hopes and dreams of a stupid young girl. “Except that’s not what this is, right? This is punishment for what your wife did.” Anger bubbles in my chest. Looking at him brings the dormant rage to life. “But instead of you or her dealing with the consequences, it’s me.”
“Lena. We had no way of knowing that shipment belonged to them,” he says for the millionth time, and still, it does nothing to assuage my anger.
“If you had known, you wouldn’t have stopped her. You would have still done exactly as you did,” I accuse him. His jaw tightens, but I’m not done. “It’s because of you and that wife of yours that this happened. Why are you here? To be sure I honor the commitment you and our father made on my behalf? To be certain I don’t run away and leave you to clean up your own mess?”
“If there was another way to resolve this I would.” Dominik frowns. He’s telling me the truth; he would sacrifice himself for me if he needed to, but that doesn’t make the hurt any less.
“I don’t want this, Dominik,” I say softly.
“Micah is a good man,” Dominik says. “Kasia didn’t want to marry me either.”
“Micah is an Ivanov. You’ve always told me the Russians weren’t to be trusted.”
Dominik takes a deep breath. “Since when do you listen to me?”
“I’m afraid,” I confess, keeping my eyes down. I can’t bear to see his disapproval.
“It will work out, Lena,” he promises, but how can he know? “We all make sacrifices for the family. I married a Garska for the same reason you’re marrying an Ivanov.”
I raise my eyes to his. Deep down, I know he’s right. He had no choice in his wife; our father decided that it would happen.
“I need to hurry up.” I work the box closed. Dominik takes the packing tape from me and seals it for me.
“Dominik.” Micah’s dark voice wafts from the doorway. The air grows thick instantly when I look up at him. He’s frowning.
“Micah.” Dominik puts the packing tape on the dresser and steps to my side. “I came to check on my sister.”
“I can see that.” Micah surveys the boxes. “Is this everything?”
“Yes.” I hold myself straight, but don’t quite meet his gaze.
“I can bring her to your place,” Dominik says. “I’ll take a load of the boxes with me-save your men some time.”
Micah’s lips tug into a half smile, but even that much is forced.
“No need. We’ll be taking the car Niko’s already filled. He’ll use mine to pack these.” He waves at what’s left of my life tucked away in cardboard boxes.
“My wife hasn’t met Lena yet. I’d like her to come to dinner tomorrow night.”
Micah grins. “Sorry, she’s busy.”
“I am not,” I interject.
Irritation flashes in Micah’s eyes. I’m not picking sides between these chest-pounding apes, but I will be the one who decides my social calendar.
“You are.” There’s no wiggle room in his tone.
“I won’t have you keeping her from her family.” Dominik steps toward Micah. Not only are they the same build and height, their stern expressions match. It’s almost comical, the way they are throwing around their authority.
“She has a new family to get to know. And seeing as your father all but threw her out of your family today, I don’t see the problem.”
“What?” I take a step forward, maneuvering around the box. “What does he mean?” I tug on Dominik’s arm. His jaw tenses, but he keeps his glare settled on Micah.
“Do you not want to tell her?” Micah gestures toward me.
“Roman Ivanov won’t allow us to attend the rehearsal dinner. We are only to attend the wedding on Saturday,” Dominick informs me as though reading me a headline.
“The wedding’s on Saturday?” I blink a few times. “Wait. Why can’t they be there on Friday?” I ask Micah. “And how does that mean my father has kicked me out of my family?”
Micah stares down Dominik for a long moment then heaves a sarcastic sigh. “Okay, I’ll tell her.” He turns his gaze on me, but as soon as his eyes meet mine, the joy he cradled a moment ago softens. Another long beat passes before he finally speaks. “Your father has written you out of his will. You’ll inherit nothing.”
Out of nowhere a wrecking ball blows through my chest, whisking away my air. After a moment turns into two, then three, I finally remember to suck in air.
“He’s disowned me?” I turn my attention to Dominik. “You knew. That’s why you came here.”
“No. I came to see you. But yes, I knew what he was doing. He is not kicking you out of our family. You will always be a Staszek.”
“Until she is an Ivanov. Once she takes my name, she’ll be part of my family,” Micah explains.
Dominik turns to me, effectively blocking me from seeing Micah.
“He’s not disowning you, but he doesn’t want anything going to the Ivanovs. It’s not you, Lena.” Dominik softens his tone, but it doesn’t take away the sting.
I take a slow breath in through my mouth and push it out through my nose. It’s not enough to squelch my rattled insides, but it keeps me from crying.
“No, nothing about this is about me.”
“Lena-”
“We should go.” Micah moves in; his presence pushes Dominik to step to the side in order to avoid a confrontation.
“Give me a minute with her,” Dominik demands. But he doesn’t have authority in my life anymore. The reins have been handed over to Micah.
“We need to go,” Micah repeats, keeping his voice firm and his eyes on me. Am I supposed to choose? I want neither of them. I want to crawl under my covers until the monsters leave, but none of that is going to happen.
“I’m imagining the two of you fighting. Like a real fight. Fists and blood, all that stuff.” I move my gaze to my brother then to my fiance. “I honestly don’t know who I’d root for, or if I would just be happy you were both hurting.”
Dominik’s lips pinch together. Whatever he wants to say, he’s going to keep it to himself.
Micah grabs hold of my hand. “That’s enough, let’s go.” He tugs me along, and like the little pawn I am, I move from one room to the next and out of the house until I’m stored away in the passenger seat of the SUV.
As Micah pulls away from the curb, I look up at my bedroom window. Dominik stands there, his hands in fists. I can almost see the anger rolling off him.
“Where are we going?” I ask, turning away from my childhood home.
“Where do you want to go?” Micah’s question surprises me.
“You sounded like we had to be somewhere.”
“Your brother was upsetting you,” he says.
“I was fine.”
He glances over at me. “You were doing that breathing thing you do. You weren’t fine.”
“What?”
“When you get worked up, you do a breathing technique.” He turns the car down a side street. “I dated a psychologist once. She used it for anxiety stuff. Is that what you have?”
“Let’s just get this stuff home. I’d like to get my clothes unpacked tonight.”
“I won’t have my wife keeping secrets from me.”
I look out the window, at the houses of old friends passing. Stores I used to sneak to with my allowance and buy candy before dinner. It all slips past me as I’m driven further and further away from where I started, from where I belonged.
“Then it’s a good thing I’m not your wife yet.” I lean back against the headrest and close my eyes.
He says something to himself, under his breath in Russian. I don’t completely understand it, but I’m pretty sure he was cursing.
I turn toward the window, eyes closed and a smile tugging at my lips.