EIGHTEEN
I stretched my hand to hug my wife. But no matter how much I reach, I can’t get anything. I look at her place but she is not there. I woke up when I remembered what happened last night before my vision went dark while she was pleasing me.
I was already clothed when all I knew was that he undressed me.
“Lauren?” I look at the whole place checking where she is. A lot of thoughts ran through my mind. Has she left? has she left me? She couldn’t handle what I did last night and she was so hurt that she left.
I looked in the bag. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that her stuff was still there. But where the hell is she? Did she avoid me?
I took the robe to go out but when I opened the door, Lauren was there too. She’s wearing a robe but in pajamas.
“Wife.”
“Good morning, hubby,” she greeted me with a kiss on my cheek. “Are you awake yet?”
“Where have you been?” I looked at her from head to toe when she passed me and then sat on the bed. She looks ok. Is she really? “I’m worried, I thought you left.”
“Why would I? I came from the resort to check their menu. I was hungry when I woke up.”
“You should have woken me up. I should have to go there or I should have accompanied you.”
“You need rest,” she replied. I sat beside her and held her shoulder. “Are you ok?”
“Ouch!” I saw her grimace.
“Wife.”
“I’m ok.” She turned her shoulder away from me but I grabbed her and then lowered the robe.
“Fuck!” I hissed and completely removed the clothing and exposed her entire shoulder. “Shit.” I even held her pajama and lifted the hem. I bowed to what I saw and shook my head. She has a lot of bruises and marks. Her bruises are very black while they are red and the mark on my teeth are still scratched in the marks there.
And I know, I did it.
“Hubby.” She held my hand but I removed her hand and then stood up. “Hubby!” I left the cottage and headed to the sea. I walked and walked without knowing where to go.
“Hubby!”I did not listen to hear. I just kept walking until I reached a large rock surrounded by coconut trees. I stood on the tree while catching my breath. I feel very tired, maybe because of the annoyance and anger I feel.© NôvelDrama.Org - All rights reserved.
“FUCK!” I scream and then punch the tree. I let out all the disappointment I wanted to let out when I saw the result of what I did to Lauren. “FUCK!” I kept screaming and punching the tree until I got tired and just hit my head while punching softly.
I don’t want this. I don’t want to be like this anymore. I accept that Lauren may not be the girl for me for life. But I still don’t want to be like this. No woman who has ever passed me deserves that kind of pain.
I used to not care about the results of what I was doing. But I just realized everything now. That I am not normal. I accepted that I was sick in bed but now I feel guilty and regret everything I did. From the first woman that I slept with until Lauren.
I sob when I feel someone hug me. Lauren is a kind woman, a friend—no, a best friend, but why did she also experience my cruelty? Why did she have to experience that? Even if she doesn’t speak, I know she is hurt by every accusation she accepts.
I can’t imagine what she feels during those times that I am out of mind and hurting her. I don’t remember what happened but I’m sure what I was doing to her was cruel. She can say it to me but her bruises and marks say a lot.
“I’m sorry.” I sob while saying.
“Hubby, what are you saying?”
“I’m sorry, Lauren, you didn’t deserve it.”
“Dwayne Dale,” she calls me and then makes me face her. “What are you saying?”
“Sorry for hurting you, wife.”
“You mean this?” Then she pointed to the bruises and bites on her shoulder. “This is what you called pleasure and pain.”
“Lauren.”
“But yeah, it hurts, but there are also good ones.” And she chuckles.
“Lauren?” I call her annoyed. And the earlier tears suddenly receded. How can she remain calm and nice to me after what I did to her? She cupped my face and gave me her sweetest smile.
“I asked for it, Didn’t I? And then hubby, ahmpp—–I actually liked it too. It’s not just the part where I fainted a few times but you still don’t want to stop.”
“You passed out?” She nods.
“But you slapped me so I woke up and enjoyed it again. Then I released, passed out, savored until it was numb but still savored even though it was no longer able to fight but it was still released.”
“Wife.” I scolded.
“I’m serious, at the same time I want to tell you that you don’t need to feel guilty.” She smiled. “I like it, so it’s not your fault. And this—-these bruises is nothing compared to the pleasure you gave me last night. What’s the purpose of this vacation if we don’t do anything memorable, right?”
“Did I do something terrible aside from that?” I ask.
“Ah—-” but she chuckles. That tickled giggle.
“Lauren?” I looked at her.
“What—-yes.”
“Yes?” She nodded but her red face didn’t escape me. “What is it?”
“Secret.”
“Lauren, you have to tell me.”
“Why? It’s all mine.”
“But it’s me who makes it.”
“But I enjoyed it. You can’t do anything if I don’t tell you. It’s my secret because you won’t remember.”
“But—–”
“Shh!” she puts her fingers on my lips. “Whatever it is, I love it.”
I grab her to hug.
“Why did I have a friend like you? Did I deserve to have a friend like you?”
“Yes, because you are kind and I can see that.” I sniff her hair and somehow it makes me calm. Her smell is an ecstasy that makes me calm. “Besides, I want to return the favor of the good relationship we have. You are the only one who believed in me, trusted me, and most of all was true. So I don’t want to break the relationship we have, hubby. I will do everything to make you happy too. Above all, I will understand you as you understand me.”
“Thanks, wife.”
“You’re always welcome, hubby.”
“I want to be normal in bed, wife. I want to feel the pleasure too without forgetting what happens the next day. I want to feel what I do.”
“We will find a way, hubby. I will help you.”
“Thanks, thank you so much, wife.”
“Come on, maybe our order has arrived and we’re not there yet. I’m hungry because you tired me in a delicious way.”
“Naughty.” But she only gives me chuckles.
We walk together while holding our hands. I hope we can stay like this. But I know it will end. I am just hoping that when that time comes, I am already healed so I can find the woman——that is really for me.
And for her, I wish her happiness too. That man who can give everything to her and that’s not me.