Dane’s Irresistible Desire

‘There is no secret that will not be revealed.’

That was fucking right.

I’m here at daddy’s building conference. He is seated in his spot while my mom stands beside him. Isabelle, the mayor’s daughter, just came here and we even met so for sure she reported something to daddy. Fuck that bitch. I will tell Dylan to kill that dog.

“Diana, is it true what the mayor’s daughter’s said about you and Wallace?” I sighed before answering while remaining bent over.

“Yes, mom.”

“He’s not your boyfriend and you agreed for something that happen to you?” she seconded.

“I’m sorry, mom, dad.”

“You’re a shame, Diana Dane.” I was devastated because of what daddy said. I expected that from him but it still hurts to hear. “You disgrace our family. I thought you were different from your siblings but you were worse than them. To all of you, I am overwhelmed with you. I admire you but look what you have done? Just because of the man, you’re lowering yourself?”

Restrain the anger in his voice. I didn’t look up because I didn’t want to meet his gaze. After all, it will also end and pass as well. I’m going to say take all the hurtful words he says.

“I never thought you would be like that. Split up with him.”

“I can’t.” That’s when I looked up at what dad said.

“What did you say?”

“I can’t leave him.” This is the first time I went against daddy. The first time I answered no, and not yes. The first I forced to mine.

“What the hell, you can’t break up with that man?”

“Yes, I can’t dad.”

“Then convince him to marry you and raise your pride.”

“He can’t, we clearly talked about no string attach.”

“What the hell — and you agreed?”

“Yes, dad.” Daddy’s face is already red. Even mom was shaken by my answer. I can’t blame them. I understand them also. They are my parents, I am a woman, an eldest, bearing Dy’s name.

“Is your daughter Dina still thinking properly?” Mom looks at me but doesn’t leave daddy’s side.

“Diana, he make you his bedwarmer and you agreed? Dear, have decency, give respect to yourself,” mom said calmly.ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

“But I am happy, mom.”

“Happy? Are you happy that you are being his bedwarmer and then thrown after?” dad said angrily.

“But I feel special.”

“Of course, he will really make you feel special because he can use you.” It’s him again.

“I feel loved, I feel I am me when I’m with him. The way he looked at me, the way he asked me, and the way he talked to me is the way that I want other people to do it for me. To talk to me, look, and ask what I want. I, as I, dad, on my own will. Maybe he’s just trying to tame me because he needs my body but at least someone asks me what I really want.”

“So, what is it all about, Diana Dane? Are you doing this because you feel like we control you and you don’t really like what you’re doing? That you are only forced because of us, because of me, is that it?”

“No dad, what I did is to make you proud of me. What I did right now is to make myself happy.”

“Why? Wouldn’t you be happy in another way?” I sighed.

“I have never been happy like this before. Dad, after all this year I tried to be a good daughter, a responsible eldest because I want you and mom and my siblings to be proud of me. Just now, just now I tried to do what I wanted and I didn’t hesitate to think of other people. That whatever the outcome may be, I will gladly accept it.”

“You’re blinded in a fucking stupid love.”

“Dad, I’m sorry. No matter what you say I will not give up on Wallace. Please leave this one for me.”

“Are you insane? Are you out of your mind?”

“Yes, dad. If that is what you understand.”

“What a shame, Diana Dane. You failed me.” Then he stood up and looked at mommy. “Talk to your daughter.” And he left us.

When Dad leave the room mom seat beside me and held my hand.

“Diana,”

“Mom, if you’re going to suggest me to leave me, Wallace, please don’t waste your time cause I won’t. I need him please, mom.”

“Then ask him to marry you. Diana, we do not hinder your happiness and what you want. We only want you to don’t lower your pride as a woman. You are a woman, value yourself. Your daddy is angry because if it was me then he wouldn’t have touched me until we got married. And now you become a bedwarmer?”

“I understand. But I can’t force him and I can’t leave him. I love him, I want him.”

“Diana,”

“Please, mom, please try to understand me. Even now let me do what I want. I am begging you now.”

“Just now you ask, but in a wrong way. Your father will be mad at you, Diana.”

“I can’t blame him. Mom? Please.” I heard her loud sigh and she tapped on my shoulder. She stands and leaves me without saying anything.

When mom left, I cry. I know I made mistakes. As a parent I know they just don’t want me to be embarrassed. Don’t let them aggravate me. I understand them in that part.

But what I can’t accept is that despite what I’ve done right in my whole life I lost all of that just because I followed what I wanted. Wrong if wrong. But this is the only way I can freely make myself happy. Here I am really happy because only with Wallace can I do or show who I really am.

I may be his fuckbuddy but he treats me special. Maybe it’s because he uses me but even though, I’m still happy.

I thought family is the first person that is there to support you, to understand you. But why can’t my parents understand me? Why despite all I have done suddenly become ashamed and sinful that they immediately look at me.

Why is one mistake will ruined everything I worked for? That included their trust, after all, I had not given up my job. It’s still me, the body is being destroyed but not my obligation to family and work is still there. Can’t they just let me into my stupidity? Can’t they let me drown in what I think is right for me to learn?

I feel someone hold my shoulder when I look up I see Dylan smiling at me.

“Dylan?” He works here in dad’s company so he’s here. He’s one of the architects here.

“I am so damn proud of you,” he said while smiling. “If I don’t get married, I will give you all my property.” He sat in front of me and wiped my tears.

“You are not angry with me?”

“Why would I? Just now I become proud of you. Because for the first time you haven’t been a fool. You are not a loser for me today but a true winner.”

“Dylan.”

“I am so fucking proud of you, Dane. For the first time.” I cried and cried because of what he said. “Don’t cry. You’re ugly to praise because you cry.”

“They’re angry because I disobeyed them. I am shameful.”

“No, you’re not. Just now because they feel you have been aggrieved which is true because you are a woman. But they will also accept that all their children are stubborn. You are a late bloomer even if you are the eldest.”

“Dylan!”

“I’m trying to pull a joke, Dane. But believe me, I am so proud of you. I did not admire all the achievements that you worked so hard for because I know that you did all that to please our parents and us. But this time, I admire you so much.”

“Really?”

“Yes, so if you think you’re a failure this time, no you’re not. For me, you’ve been a failure in your entire life, and just now you won. Only now have you truly become an achiever because this time you get what you want. From here and this is what you follow.” He pointed to my heart. “When you win what it wants. That is the real win.”

“Dylan.” I hugged him and I cried for him. “Thanks, Dylan.” I thought no one can understand me. But I am thankful I have a brother like Dylan. Seeing true self-value and true human happiness. That real fun is more important than material and forced success.

“Be it, Dane, do what you think that can make you happy. Self-happiness is more important than money, fame, and praise. All of them are nothing if you are not happy with your life because you are not doing what you want. I will support you. I got your back, Diana Dane Dy.”