Chapter 16 – Pretentious
TRINITY
Bash and I went to the small market down the village. It feels good to walk with him hand and hand, pushing the thoughts back about how limited our time here, then we’re going back to how we’re used to be—I’m back to Kiara Mallory, and he will be the Bash Hughes, the CFO.
It was fun to pretend as his wife while we were on the market. The people in this area are very conservative, so we pretended to be on a honeymoon from the U. S. I don’t even know what he said to the old woman. He embraced me tightly and kissed my forehead while they were so engrossed with what they were talking about.
“Trinity, penny for the thoughts? You’ve been gripping my hand.” Bash’s voice pulls me out of my thoughts. We’re still walking up in the gravelly road up to the hill.
“What did you two talk about earlier?” I inquire, but more likely I am being nosy.
Bash looks amused. “You’ve been thinking about that all this time?”
“Well, duh! I don’t know what you two were talking about. Don’t you think you should at least tell me?”
We stop in front of the hanok gate.
“Why so curious about it? It’s nothing.” He laughs, and I’m not convinced. I know there’s something that piques my interest.
I shrug in defeat. Why make it a big deal anyway? And whatever they talked about, I know it’s nothing important, right?
We enter the gate, and I feel a sudden twist in the pit of my stomach.
“Tri, stop scowling.”
I walk past him, but he manages to grab my hand before I can go far.
“I need to get inside, Bash. I have to wash my feet, and they’re soiled,” I tell him, but even me, I can hear the disappointment in my voice.
He lets go of my hand, but he grabs my head instead and presses his mouth to mine. Bash kisses me hard, eager, and needy. The plastic bag on my hand falls to the ground. He kissed me many times, but this one is on a whole new different level. I can’t help but clench his shirt to hold on to when he deepens the kiss, slipping his tongue into my mouth, exploring.
I feel him hard pressed against my lower abdomen, and I can’t help but press myself snugly against him. He releases his hands to cup my bottom, kneading them. I wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. I feel we’re moving. Bash carries me inside the hanok, leaving the plastic bag behind.
I help him pull off his shirt and unbutton his jeans while his hands are busy exploring my body. He cups my face again when we’re both naked. This time, he’s kissing slowly, gently as he brushes his lips on mine, taking his time. There is something inside me rises–excitement, and a little noise skips from my throat.
“Bash, please?” I find my voice pleading. He kisses me down to my neck, and I can’t help but grip a handful of his hair.
“I’m so tempted to press you against this wall, but this bloody wall is as thin as a paper,” he says in his huskier voice. He guides me to lie down flat on the floor without bothering to spread the mattress. I feel the cold Maru on my back.
He moves away from me to grab his jeans.
“You have a condom in your pocket jeans even we’re just going to market?”Published by Nôv'elD/rama.Org.
He chuckles, tearing the foil pack with his teeth. “I thought a thousand times of taking you anywhere I can, Trinity,” he admits, crawling back on top of me.
I spread my thighs wider to accommodate him. Biting my lip, he sinks into me slowly as soon as he rubs the crown on my wet core.
“God, I don’t think I can get enough of you,” he says, pressing his body on me. I wrap my legs around his waist to push him deeper, and he starts moving. He follows his rhythm, kisses me occasionally on my lips, my nose, my jaw, and my neck while I’m clawing his back.
It’s rough sex, but I love every second of it, and I love the fact that it’s with Bash.
A pressure already builds in me, and my inner walls clench his length. Arching my back, I moan louder while Bash is busy pounding me harder. We grunt and pant as we’re both almost over the edge.
“Come now, Trinity,” he orders, clenching his jaw as he tries to hold his own orgasm. He slows down his thrust, but it’s rougher and intense, hitting me where I am most sensitive, and I feel my eyes roll back.
“Bash!” I don’t realize I just scream his name.
Bash grunts my name before he falls on top of me. We’re both catching our breaths and slick with our sweats.
This has been one of the best days of my life. I’m happy and depressed at the same time because I know it has an expiration date.
***
We eat Bulgogi and some fresh green salad after our sex. We spend and catch some fresh air on the porch with our sujo. I remember how many wishes I made every time I looked up at the stars.
We’re both sitting on the cold concrete stairs when I hear him sigh while looking up at the night sky silently. Wrapping my arms around his left arm, I lean my head on his shoulder. This week we’re just both an ordinary guy and girl who enjoy each other’s company, and I don’t want to overthink after this week.
“Remember when we were at my parent’s beach house?” He kisses the top of my head.
I nod without looking at him and chuckle. “You stole my shells. You always love to steal something from me, Bash.”
He laughs. “Oh, yeah?”
I hit his arm playfully. “Oh, yeah. That’s why I wondered, I piled many shells, and they’re not increasing. I searched that seashore, and I am sure I got plenty of them, but they’re decreasing instead.” I stare at him, and he’s now grinning at me.
“You’re so bully!” I push him a little bit stronger, and he almost lost his balance. Good thing he has a quick reflex, and he’s able to grab me.
Panic streaks through me. “Sorry, I push you hard.”
He sits straight, bumping me with his body. “I still have one thing I wanna steal from you, Trinity,” he mutters under his breath, and he sounds serious.
My brows raise. “And what’s that, Bash? I don’t think I still have something in me that is worth stealing for.”
He scans my face with a hint of sadness on his face. Instead of saying that I know he has something in his head, he holds it instead. He plants a kiss on my nose, then he looks up at the stars again.
I want him to steal my heart, but I’m more willing to give it to him wholeheartedly because, after all these years, I realized that it was his, since like forever.
Now that we have intimate moments together, I’m sure that my heart belongs to him. But it scares the hell out of me because I know I’ll never have his heart in return, and it’s not that I’m expecting, but it just hurt like hell. How am I going to take it when he starts dating or sleeping around again?
I don’t know what the hell I put myself into. This situation I am in right now will wreck me in the end. I gamble not only my feelings and my body, but also my heart, my life, and my relationship with the people who care for us.
I didn’t realize my tears fall from my eyes only when I find myself sniffing.
Bash stiffens beside me. “Trinity, what’s wrong? Why the hell are you crying?”
I wipe my tears away before I sit straight and face him. I give him a tight smile. “I haven’t talked to mom and dad.” He knows I am lying.
He snorts. “Do you think I believe you?”
I’m caught off guard.
“You just talked to them this morning. Whatever you’re thinking right now, stop it,” I can see the concerned look in his eyes, and I am going to ruin this moment if I won’t pull myself together.
“I’m not thinking anything, Bash. We’re a hundred miles away from our family,” I say a little defensively.
He chuckles. “We did this before. Not far like this, but we went outside the state after our graduation in high school, and you’ve never been emotional. I know you well, Tri, and don’t you dare lie to me.”
He’s right, and I’m always happy and safe when I’m with him. My parents trusted him so much, and they love him like a son even after what happened between us.
“I’m not lying to you.” I stand up, walking down to the ground.
He looks pissed and rises from his seat too. “Do tell, Trinity. Why are you crying?”
I swallow the lump forming in my throat.
“Huh? Why are you crying? Don’t you think it’s easy for me to see you cry? For fucking sake, Trinity.”
My eyes widen.
“Or is it about what’s going on between us? Do you feel guilty about it?”
I shake my head. I open my mouth to say something, but he doesn’t let me. He grabs my head and kisses me hard like a punishment, and he only stops to allow me to gasp for air.
“Don’t you dare feel guilty, Trinity? What we are doing isn’t a mistake. Your fiancé is dead months ago, I’m not happy to hear that you lost him, but you have to move on. We’re two consenting adults. We love what we’re doing, right?”
I pull myself away from him and steps backward.
“For fucking sake, say something!”
I startle at his voice. “Can you lower your voice down!” I start yelling.
“Then say something! Why the hell are you crying?” He looks furious. He’s breathing heavily with his hands on his hips.
“Forget about it!” I fight back, striding to the concrete stairs. I remove the slippers that we bought from the market. I know he’s following me. I stop in front of the fridge and grab a bottle of water. I feel a little relaxed when the cold water runs down my throat, but my heart is still pounding in my chest.
“You can’t just ignore me.” He calms down a bit. His voice is barely audible.
“You can’t just force me to say something.”
“Just answer me one question, Trinity.”
I face him as I pressed my palms against the kitchen island. “What’s the one question, Bash?”
“Do you want to stop this, what we started when we get back?” He looks hurt, but I can’t risk my heart when all he wanted is to clear the tension between us. He never mentioned a relationship. All he wanted is to kiss me and have sex with me.
I nod glumly. “Yes,” I whisper and look at him. I finally let go of a breath that I hold for long. My heart breaks because that’s not what I want. I’ve been wanting more than just a friend with him, but that’s all that he can give, and he’s already generous of that.
“You’re lying again.”
“I’m not lying, Bash, and that’s all I want.” I glare at him before I walk away, hoping he believe what I said.
“I know you well, and I know you’re lying to me. That’s why you are walking away again.” Bash follows me.
I stop, and we almost bump each other. “What do you want, Bash?”
“Be mine,” he answers almost immediately.
My eyes grow bigger, and I snort. “Are you seriously insane?” I ask, seemingly surprised by my question.
“Yes, Trinity.”
I shake my head. “No. That’s not what you want. Now, who’s lying?”
“Why not? Don’t you like me?” He seems affected by my answer. His lips quiver. I know Bash is not used to accepting rejection, and I just did.
I’m not sure what he’s after, though. I want more than just sex with him. “I like you, Bash. A lot, so much, and that’s the problem.”
His brows furrow in confusion. “I can’t see any problem with liking me because I like you, too, Trinity.”
I swallow hard. Hearing Bash admits that he likes me makes my heart flutter. “You just like the sex, Bash and–”
“I like you more than just sex, and you know that,” he says in a shaky voice.
I shake my head again. “Yeah, and you’re saying that when I’m vulnerable. Don’t you think it’s too unfair for me?” I look at him directly into his sad eyes.
“Just let me show you that I mean it, Trinity,” He almost pleads.
“Bash.”
He raises his hands for me to stop. “Fine, let’s do it your way. Is this what you want? A week with me? Great!” That’s it, he walks away from me. I stand still glued in my own place, utterly shocked.