Chapter 19
Chapter 19
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And we can do it here, or in your bedroom, or your bathroom, I don’t care—I just want you. Now.
Her lips part as her breath hitches and her breathing quickens.
Oh, that sound is beguiling.
You want me, too, baby.
I know it.
I feel it.
She backs up against the kitchen island with nowhere else to go.
“I’m still mad at you,” she asserts, but her voice is tremulous and soft. She doesn’t sound mad at all.
Wanton, maybe. But not mad.
“I know,” I agree, and give her a wolfish grin. Her eyes widen.
Oh, baby.
“Would you like something to eat?” she whispers.
I nod slowly. “Yes. You.”
Standing over her, staring into eyes that are dark with desire, I feel the heat from her body. It’s
searing me. I want to be wrapped in it. Bathed in it. I want to make her scream and moan and call
out my name. I want to reclaim her and wipe the memory of our breakup from her mind.
I want to make her mine. Again.
But first things first.
“Have you eaten today?” I need to know.
“I had a sandwich at lunch.”
That will do. “You need to eat,” I chide her.
“I’m really not hungry right now…for food.”
“What are you hungry for, Miss Steele?” I lower my face so that our lips are almost touching.
“I think you know, Mr. Grey.”
She’s not wrong. I stifle my groan and it takes all my self-control not to grab her and toss her onto
the concrete counter. But I was serious when I said she’d have to beg. She has to tell me what she
wants. She has to vocalize her feelings, her needs, and desires. I want to learn what makes her
happy. I lean down as if to kiss her, fooling her, and whisper in her ear instead.
“Do you want me to kiss you, Anastasia?”
She inhales sharply. “Yes.”
“Where?”
“Everywhere.”
“You’re going to have to be a bit more specific than that. I told you I’m not going to touch you until
you beg me and tell me what to do.”
“Please,” she pleads.
Oh no, baby. I’m not going to make this easy on you. “Please what?”
“Touch me.”
“Where, baby?”
She reaches for me.
No.
The darkness erupts inside me and grips my throat with its claws. Instinctively, I step back, my heart
pounding as fear courses through my body.
Don’t touch me. Don’t touch me.
Fuck.
“No. No,” I mutter.
This is why I have rules.
“What?” She’s confused.
“No.” I shake my head. She knows this. I told her yesterday. I have to make her understand she
can’t touch me.
“Not at all?” She steps toward me and I don’t know what she intends. The darkness stabs at my
insides, so I take another step back and hold up my hands to ward her off.
With a smile, I beseech her, “Look. Ana…” But I can’t find the right words.
Please. Don’t touch me. I can’t handle it.
Damn, it’s frustrating.
“Sometimes you don’t mind,” she protests. “Perhaps I should find a marker pen, and we could map
out the no-go areas.”
Well, that’s an approach that I’ve not considered before. “That’s not a bad idea. Where’s your
bedroom?” I need to move her on from this subject.
She nods to the left.
“Have you been taking your pill?”
Her face falls. “No.”
What!
After all the trouble we went to to get her on the fucking pill! I can’t believe she just stopped taking it.
“I see.”
This is a disaster. What the hell am I going to do with her? Damn it. I need condoms. “Come, let’s
have something to eat,” I say, thinking that we can go out and I can replenish my supply.
“I thought we were going to bed. I want to go to bed with you.” She sounds sullen.
“I know, baby.”
But with us it’s two steps forward and one step back.
This evening is not going as planned. Maybe it was too much to hope. How can she be with a
fucked-up asshole who can’t bear to be touched? And how can I be with someone who forgets to
take their damned pill? I hate condoms.
Christ. Maybe we are incompatible.
Enough of the negative thinking, Grey. Enough!
She looks crestfallen, and part of me is suddenly absurdly pleased that she does. At least she
wants me. I bound forward and grab her wrists, pinning her hands behind her and pulling her into
my arms. Her slender body against the length of mine feels good. But she’s slim. Too slim. “You
need to eat and so do I.” And you’ve completely thrown me by trying to touch me. I need to recover
my composure, baby. “Besides…anticipation is the key to seduction, and right now I’m really into
delayed gratification.” Especially with no contraception.
She looks a little skeptical.
Yes, I know. I just made that up.
“I’m seduced and I want my gratification now. I’ll beg. Please,” she whimpers.
She is Eve herself: temptation incarnate. I tighten my hold and there’s definitely less of her. It’s
disconcerting, more so because I know I’m to blame. “Eat. You’re too slender.” I kiss her forehead
and release her, wondering where we can dine.
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