Find Me Alastar

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She lives every life without her mother and it breaks my heart. A child should never bear this loss

once, let alone in every life.

It is hard for me to write this, and I have no idea how I am going to go through with it. I can’t even

imagine a cold life without your love surrounding me.

In our next life, my darling, I am going to resist you. I am going to take our ring and hide it and

push you away. I will stay away from you at all costs and trust me, I will die a little every day knowing

that you love me and yet I am not in your arms.

I am doing this, not because I don’t love you, please know that.

Just the opposite, my darling. I love you more than life itself and truly wish that it was me who

passed in your place.

You need to know that I love you desperately and how deeply I care for you.

Please forgive me for putting you through pain, because even though you do not remember our past

lives, I know you will remember the way we feel about each other.

I need to try and save your life and not because of them, the people in the past.

But for you.

For me.

For our daughter.

Our love is too perfect to die with our bodies and we have proven that time and time again.

Ester is playing with her blocks on the floor as I write this. She misses you. I miss you. You always

leave me this tiny, perfect, curly haired piece of yourself, as if knowing I need a purpose to live. If it

wasn’t for her, I don’t think I could go on without you.

I don’t want to finish this letter. I don’t want to say goodbye and I am sure you would be laughing

at how long it has taken me to write through my tears.

I promise you, my love, with every single ounce of my being.

We will be together again.

Like your memory, our love is eternal and so very precious.

Until we meet again.

I love you.

Alastar

xxx

With shaking hands, I hold the letter as the tears pool in my eyes. I put my hands over my mouth in shock.

Oh my God.

He was trying to save me.

He kept saying he was trying to protect me. I close my eyes as the final piece of the puzzle clicks in.

Brielle was right. He wasn’t telling me the whole story.

He is still protecting me by not telling me about this curse. He doesn’t want me to be scared of dying

even though he is petrified. I sit back on the bed as a clear as day memory comes to the forefront of my

mind, and I frown, the pain too much to bear.

I lie somewhere between life and death in my hospital bed. Alastar and Ester are in the room with me. I

have fought this illness with everything that I had, but it wasn’t enough.

I can’t win this battle.

The room is silent and Alastar gently pushes my hair back from my forehead and smiles softly.

I need to say this.

“You are a brave man, Alastar O’Shea, for loving me.”

He smiles.