Finding Forgiveness

Gustavo laughed, “What do you think I can do? I may be his biggest rival but I only know what he wants me to know, just like everyone else. I hate to admit it but that boy has a flawless operation going.”

“Yes, that’s what people keep saying,” Leo replied with a twinge of frustration. “But nothing is perfect and there’s always a flaw.”

Gustavo smiled and leant closer, “I’m interested. What are you proposing, Mr Alpha?”

“That we join forces to find that flaw,” I said. “Together, I believe we have the capacity and that you know more than you are letting on.”

Gustavo leant forward so that his face was close to Leo’s, “What’s in it for me, Se? or?”

“Martinez’s death and an alliance with the most powerful Alpha in the world,” he replied. “Of course, Martinez’s death also carries a whole host of benefits. South America would be yours. I have no interest in taking a cut.”

Gustavo remained quiet and thought for a few moments, “Okay. I’m in.”

“Wonderful,” Leo said shaking his hand. “How about we begin this by you telling me everything you know about this overachieving teenager?”

Ella’s POV

Three weeks later, I’d slipped into life with Andrea. It was horrible and painful but I’d learnt to tolerate it.

Every day, I’d get up, take my pill and make breakfast for us both. Sometimes Chico would help, sometimes he wouldn’t. Then he’d put me to use doing whatever job he had going whether that be tending to the latest bullet victim, cleaning, cooking or serving food and beer to him and whichever disrespectful, misogynistic friends he had over that evening. He liked to take me out of the house too, whether that be because he needed my assistance distracting or persuading someone or simply just to drag me along.

I lost count of the number of times I watched him kill someone. At first, the coldness and complete emptiness in his eyes frightened me. I guess how easily he could just take a life without a second thought made me realise how dangerous he really was. But although with every death my heart sunk, the ringing in my ears from the shot of a bullet became normal and his utter lack of emotion no longer phased me.

When he wanted to sleep with me, which was three or four times a week, was by far the worst. Even though I knew there was nothing I could do to stop it, the guilt I felt was terrible. Everything else I became numb to overtime but with this, I felt the same excruciating pain every time no matter how much tequila he’d given me beforehand.

One evening afterwards, I sat with my knees against my chest against the headboard as he sat next to me, laid out comfortably as he put a cigarette in his mouth.

“Want one?” he offered.

“No,” I whispered almost inaudibly.

“Try it,” he urged.

I could tell by his tone that it wasn’t a choice so I took one out of the box he was holding out to me and held it in my fingers.

He brought my hand to my mouth and rested it in my lips before lighting it and then lighting his own.

It filled my lungs with the most revolting ash and smoke that burnt and itched. But I didn’t cough or reach for water, I just stayed still and felt the sting scratch at my throat. It was a distraction if nothing else.

“You ever smoked pot, Blanca?” he asked.

“No.”

“Your Alpha didn’t let you, huh?” he said with a slight laugh.

“I have kids,” I replied.

“Shit yeh you do,” he said. “A lot of fucking kids. But they aren’t your problem anymore and you’re with me now.”

“I’d rather just sleep,” I told him, handing him my barely touched cigarette before scrambling under the covers.This content © Nôv/elDr(a)m/a.Org.

“Another time,” he said. “Sweet dreams.”

I closed my eyes and listened until he finished his cigarette and had fallen asleep before rolling onto my back and staring up to the ceiling.

It must have been hours until he moved and I felt his arm wrap around my waist.

“Do you ever sleep, Blanca?” he asked.

“When I run out of things to think about,” I replied quietly.

“Go to sleep or you’ll look like I haven’t been treating you right,” he said pulling me closer to him and closing his eyes again.

He hadn’t been treating me right though.

The moonlight poured in the large window and onto the bed, lighting up Andrea’s sleepy figure.

Even in innocent rest, he looked evil. Even when his piercing, satanic eyes were covered, a low sense of danger hung around him.

“How did you get like this?” I asked suddenly.

He opened his eyes again and looked at me disgruntledly.

“Like what?” he questioned with a sigh.

“Such a powerful man at only nineteen despite being born a rogue,” I elaborated treading carefully unsure of how he’d react to the reminder of his past.

“Must we get into this at 1 am? It’s a long story,” he slurred, his Mexican accent coming out strong as he closed his eyes again.

“It’s been playing at my mind for a while and the curiosity is keeping me awake,” I said.

His eyes opened again and he propped himself up on his elbows.

“My father was the future Alpha of a pack in Southern Mexico. My mother was his high school summer fling,” he began. “She wasn’t his mate so when she fell pregnant with me at sixteen, my Grandfather, who was Alpha at the time, exiled her from the pack and she raised me as a rogue alone. He later found his mate and had more kids but I was his first son, first in line to the Alphaship.”

“So that is why you are so strong?” I asked. “You’re an Alpha?”

“Only by blood,” he replied. “I didn’t get no pack handed to me. I had to find my own way, building a criminal organisation and making billions a year from trafficking drugs.”

“Where’s your mother now?” I questioned genuinely curious.

He shrugged.

“I don’t know. She found her mate when I was ten. Of course, as the son of another man, he hated me so naturally, abandoned me in the middle of the desert. From there, I found my way to a warehouse containing a gang of criminals that adopted me and taught me their ways. And here we are,” he finished.

“Oh,” I replied, kinda shocked. “Maybe you should find her. Or him.”

“They won’t want anything to do with me,” he said with a laugh. “I’m the kid they never wanted.”

“You had a fucked up childhood.”

“Yeah but I ended up better off. I have everything I want now,” he replied.

“Except love,” I said quietly.

“Love is bullshit.”

“You think that because you’ve never felt it,” I replied. “So you’ve given up on it, right?”