Forbidden Heat R18

Breathing out another sigh, I walked into the room and closed the door behind me. There really isn’t anything left here. The empty room just acted as another proof that Reiner had truly disappeared from my life. I ran my fingertips along the table and imagined Reiner sitting on the chair as he spoke to me while I rested on his bed.

I remembered the first time he let me through the door when I was literally running away from my own nightmare. How he comforted me and held me until I fell asleep in his arms. The warmth in his arms and the kindness and care that I felt were feelings that I would never be able to forget.

I glanced at the floor in front of the door, remembering him sleeping there, sitting with his back against the door as he safeguarded me from any harm that may venture in from outside. He was definitely not a man of many words, but his actions spoke so much louder than words anyways.

Before I knew it, tears were streaming down my cheeks, and I didn’t even bother to wipe them away.

Sitting down on his bed, I recalled the first time I was able to get him to hold me in his arms and the peaceful sleep I experienced whenever I fell asleep with his arms around me. We’ve come such a long way after that just to return to nothing at all. We walked around in circles and ultimate we got lost and then we got separated.

Just when I was about to get up from the bed, I felt something underneath my hand like a bump. Was there something under the blanket?

I got up and pulled the blanket that was covering the bed away, revealing the item that was just laying there on the bed. I should have known that this would happen, but it still hurts like crazy anyways…

Poor little thing, he didn’t even take you with him. Are you lonely and sad after being left behind…just like me?

I laughed a little at myself. I’m so stupid…

Why am I talking silently in my head to a painting?

It’s weird and twisted how the painting I had given him for his birthday present as a way for him to remember me turned out to be something that I would remember him by instead. He didn’t even take it with him. I looked down at my own painting of Reiner. He looked great here, I had to say that I had some hidden talent at painting.

Just as suddenly as he had waltz into my life, he had left while taking nothing along with him as a reminder of our time together. Perhaps, he didn’t want to remember the times that we shared anymore. I’m probably the only one holding on to these useless emotions of mine. Well, at least he took my heart away with him…

I shook my head to clear my thoughts. It was clear even to me that being here wasn’t helping me get over him at all, but then again, I never said that I wanted to get over him in the first place.

What am I doing here?

I’m going crazy…

With the painting in my hand, I left the room as silently as I had entered it.

…

The days after that past by in a blur. It felt like I was floating around in a bubble as I tried my best to avoid places and things that would remind me of Reiner, not that I was successful. I was just waiting for the bubble that was protecting me to burst and for another breakdown to come my way.Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org exclusive © material.

When I woke up and looked at the chair next to my bed and saw that it was empty, I was reminded of him. Unsurprisingly, I had trouble sleeping. Reiner wasn’t there to put me to sleep through his gentle words or wild lovemaking. When I opened my eyes, he wasn’t there to greet me with a ‘good morning’. He really spoilt me rotten.

When Laura served me tea and cake, everything just tasted off. The chefs were professional but the cake they made didn’t compare to those that Reiner baked at all. In the end, I just ordered the maids to stop serving me cake all together.

“Are you sure, Miss Natalia?” Laura asked, surprise clear in her voice.

Yes, I didn’t think that there would come a day when I would put a ban on cake for myself either.

“Yes, I’m sure…” I replied without hesitation.

All the cakes tasted rotten, and they only reminded me of the cakes that Reiner used to bake for me and also the time that we baked together. That just made me feel sick and broken inside. No tea break would help me preserve my figure, that was the only bright side that I could think of in this whole situation.

When Laura suggested that I take a walk in the garden, my stupid legs ended up taking me to the tree where Reiner and I spent time alone together when he first came into my life. I think that was the first time that he kissed me. I touched my fingertips to my lips as I remembered how he kissed me so gently on that day and then told me that the color of my blushing cheeks was his favorite color. I laughed at my past self and how hard my heart skipped a beat in that moment.

I looked up at the branch where I used to sit before, I turned on my heels and walked away from that tree as fast as my legs could take me. If I didn’t make it away from the tree before sunset, I would end up crying again for sure and my eyes aren’t able to physically take anymore crying right now. Coming to the garden was simply a big mistake.

It wasn’t long after that I stopped going out to the gardens entirely. The gardens did not feel as beautiful as it once did. The green of the leaves didn’t seem as fresh. The color and smell of flowers felt faded at best. Just like the days that I spent in the gardens before, I would turn around at the slightest sound hoping to see Reiner there to serve me tea or pastries while I painted.

I closed my eyes and concentrated on just breathing because if I didn’t focus on anything, I would see his face floating around in my mind as well. That was how much I missed him…already…

–To be continued…