Hard Truths
Time flies quickly. Days blend together as one. The nights are better now. I haven’t had nightmares in a while… or walking dreams. I’ve been studying and hanging out more with Maya and Darian and sometimes, just Darian.
Darian’s been sweet. Getting me things, coming to see me before he goes to bed, bringing me flowers and gifts and small sweet notes that feel very human.
It makes me feel warm inside but not enough to want to be his anything.
There have been no further incidents since I moved to the hall. Everyone mostly stays away from me now. They don’t even point and laugh at me anymore. They don’t even look my way. It feels like there has been some order or instruction that has been passed across that I know nothing of.
“TAKE ONE LOOK AT ASTRID AND YOUR EYES WILL BE FORFEIT.”
Yes. It is that bad. I don’t let it bother me much. I have been sticking to my space and my business. Being in the same hall with Rune and Ginevra makes it harder to avoid them. They’re everywhere. The private gym, the small dainty restaurant that most star students go to just for the super Wi-Fi, the private pool area, the balconies… they’re everywhere. Mooning over each other and it doesn’t matter how many times I tell myself that it’ll get easier to watch.
It doesn’t.
What has gotten easier is hiding my disgust and sometimes, even smiling.
Even now, as music blasts through my ears and I take my third run around the hall, it isn’t about exercising anymore. It is about drowning out their voices that echo in my head; in my brain.
I pull myself up, swinging from rail to rail, and my arms protests, as do my muscles. It feels like my arm will get disconnected from it’s socket.
But it is nothing compared to the burning hate eating me up from inside. A feeling I am not entitled to. A feeling I have no right to. A feeling I must discard as soon as possible.
I drop from the rail, landing on my foot and I roll my hands and shoulders, blowing out hot breaths.
A hand taps my shoulder and I smile when I see Darian holding a bottle of water. “You’re going harder than normal today,” he says as I uncork the bottle.
“I’m stressed,” I say and throw back my head as I drink from the bottle.
“Because you’ll see them again today?” Darian asks and as he takes back the bottle and his thumb caresses the inside of my palm purposefully.
His finger leaves heat in its wake and I sigh. I know this is for my well being but it feels really nice. These lycan males and their seductive heat.
I nod. I forgot to mention, today’s the start of the Interschool Games. The portal will be opened in four hours and we will receive the guests from other realms.
My parents included.
Thorne as well. With Tri and Aria.
I am nervous, anxious. It’s only been a few weeks but it feels like a lot of things have happened in these few days that make me… different.
For one, my ‘studying’ does not only entail my history class. I have been digging, and coming up with oddities.
First, you must know that our history and texts date back to the time when it was only the Moon Goddess and her children in existence. There are records of every Lycan, Wolf and Human born with the blessings of the Goddess. Every family and and it’s predecessors.
No one is left out. So I find it odd that I can’t find anything on Lorna’s mate whom Hekate killed out of jealousy. Or the male with whom she had gone into hiding with. Or the sons she’d had by the male.
They have no names in the lores, and knowing my kind, it is strange.
I’m a curious little being whose itch has been touched.
I also found that there is indeed a tower in the outskirts of the Lycan Realm, in a town where humans used to reside eons ago. It is in ruins now and no one goes there anymore. Not because it is forgotten, but because they know better. They call it Home of the Dead. Some say it is cursed. Others say it is where the darkness began.
I have no fucking idea which is true, because I have never been there, but I hate to admit that certain pieces in Hekate’s story seem to be true.
There is a battle within me. Dig up more, listen to his lies, doubt my parents and everyone who’s taught me everything I know. Or dismiss everything I have heard and report my recurring dreams to my parents.
“It’ll be fine,” Darian says, fingers grasping mine.
I steal a glance in the opposite direction when I feel a weight on my back. But Rune isn’t watching. He is pulling himself up on the railings and I snatch my eyes away the moment I find myself admiring the panes of his chest like every other female is doing right now.All content is © N0velDrama.Org.
I grip Darian’s fingers tighter instead and laugh loudly, even if he hasn’t said anything funny. “Thank you.”
His eyebrows are raised but he says nothing as I pull him out of the gym.
“It is absolutely normal. The heightened pitch, the giggles, the fidgeting…”
I frown and turn to Darian. “What are you talking about?”
His face is hard and his usually warm eyes seem colder. “Rune. You’re in love with him.”
I blink. I take a step back, hand leaving his, and I take another. My breath is stuck in my throat and my fingers dig painfully into my palm. “I am not. Goddess forbid it.”
His unflinching gaze regards me with a detached expression I do not recognize. “It’s in your eyes, Astrid. In your body language. You look for him when you don’t see him, and your palms have bruises from every moment you try to ignore his frolicking with his betrothed.”
Instinctively, my hand moves behind my back and my nostrils flare. “Do not say that to me. Do not presume to understand me or my feelings when you know nothing of both. You think I wouldn’t know if I was in–” I pant, gritting out the vile, disgusting word. “love?”
“It is–”
“Enough. It is enough. You do not tell me what I feel or how I feel. If you cannot respect my words and my feelings, then I see no reason why we should be friends. Or anything at all.”
His jaw clenches. “You seem to have a problem listening to hard truths.”
I take a step forward and stare up at him, seething. “Fuck you and your truth. It isn’t mine.”
His lips part, no doubt to spew more nonsense, but I’m already walking away, fingers feeling for my throat.
I’ve always been a woman who prides in her heart being hers alone. Love has always been a farfetched term for me. I do not know what it is, or what it should feel like, but I know what I feel for Rune.
It isn’t love…
I think.