82
“You’re looking good. I mean, you’re looking well-fully recovered.” said Vivian.
“I feel it.” He raised a dark eyebrow. “Aren’t you going to invite me inside?”
“Of course!” She opened the door wide and as he walked into the hall she thought that the fact he had had to ask spoke volumes about the distance which had grown between them. As did the fact that he hadn’t touched her-and the coolly remote look on his dark face which showed no inclination to do so. She faced him awkwardly.
“Where shall we go?”
He wondered how she would react if he suggested the bedroom, but, while that wasn’t quite the last thing on his mind, that wasn’t the reason he had come here today. “Is it warm enough to sit outside?”
“I think so. Shall I make us some coffee and bring it onto the balcony?”
But he didn’t want a social ritual. He didn’t even particularly want coffee. He shook his head. “Not unless you really want some. I’m fine.”
“So am I.”
He hadn’t forgotten just how beautiful it felt to be around her, but he still felt a bit overwhelmed. He shook himself out of his reverie to meet the question in her beautiful dark eyes.
“What have you been doing?” she asked.
“I got checked out by the doctor.” He smiled. “Totally clean bill of health.”
She looked at his strong, hard physique-the black hair ruffled very slightly by the light breeze and the dark eyes gleaming. She thought that you wouldn’t have needed to be a doctor to give him the green light.
“That’s good.” she said.
“Mmm. And I’ve gone back to work” He looked at her. “The staff really did well in my absence. It’s a bit different without you though.” he added, waiting for her reaction.
“Oh is it,” Her eyes widened.
He nodded. “Everyone misses you too.”
“Well, it’s good to know that my absence was noticed. I miss them too.”
He smiled. “I also decided to give my attention to one project at a time. You know, I had a lot of work piled up and I realized that I was rushing a lot of projects and putting a lot of stress on myself. It’s been easier that way.”
She smiled at him. “That’s very good, Scott,” she said.
“You don’t seem surprised,” he observed, thinking that she still seemed a long way away from him-as though a thick wall of glass divided them.
“That’s because I’m not,” she answered quietly. “I knew you’d have to change direction at some point-and I’m glad about the decision you’ve made.”
“How did you know, Vivian?” he asked.
She sighed. For an intelligent man, he could be so dense sometimes. “You didn’t need an accident to see that you were driving yourself too hard for things you neither wanted nor needed. All the signs were there, Scott-it’s just that you chose not to see them.”
“Yet you never said anything.” He caught her in the soft dark light from his eyes. “Did you?”
“Say anything? To you?” She gave a hollow laugh.
“If I’d tried to tell you that-tell you anything-you would have hit the roof-”
“Ah, so I was a tyrant, after all?”
She thought about it. “I guess you were. A little. And anyway, even if I had told you, you would never have listened.”
“Ouch,” he said quietly. “If a man needs his ego boosting, then a conversation with Vivian Sanchez is ill advised.”
“You,” she said firmly, “Definitely o not need your ego boosting!”
“No. I guess I don’t.”
She shifted slightly in the chair, so that the jade silk clung like honey to her thighs, and a pulse began to tap out a hungry little beat at his temple.
“Scott?”
He tried not to dwell on the fact that he was pretty sure she was naked beneath the robe. “What?”he questioned huskily.
She saw the darkening of his eyes and knew what was on his mind. But that wasn’t important. This was. A lot hinged on his reaction to this next question. “How is your mother? And sister?”
His stilled and his eyes narrowed. Then he gave a wry smile. “They are both fine” he replied, “and they keep asking about you too. Sara says she misses you.”
“I miss them too,” said Vivian, “I’m sure they have been taking very good care of you, even if I know you make it hard for them.”
He smiled again. “You know me very well, Vivian”
It was good that he felt that way, but she wasn’t going to take credit for a closeness he had always denied her. She heard something in his voice. Something like pride and possession. He had a great family, she realized. The one thing he had, apart from his wealth and power. And that was something to be proud of.
Scott was thinking he needed more than that now. He had shut all his emotions away from other people- locked them behind a high wall. And Vivian had started to tap away at that wall, chipping away at the brickwork, making him take a look at himself in a way that no one else had ever done.
Maybe he hadn’t needed a knock on the head to force him to look deep within himself. It might have taken longer, but might not Vivian have managed it all by herself?
“I feel like I’ve been neglecting them though,” he added.
“Life’s too short for regrets,” she observed.
“I know.” His voice was very soft. “That’s why I’ve had to let those regrets go.”
Her breath caught in her throat and she was alarmed at the selfishness of her next thought. Why was he here today? What did he want? But equally importantly-what did she want? And she knew that without even having to stop and think about it.
She wanted a proper loving, caring and equal relationship-and if she couldn’t have it with Scott, then she didn’t want him. She might never find it with someone else, but no longer was she going to accept half measures. Living a life only half lived.
“Oh, Scott, why did you come here today?” Had he thought that this was going to be easy? But nothing worth fighting for was easy.
“Because I’ve missed you,” he said huskily. “Don’t you know that?”
Her face did not betray her pleasure. The old Vivian would have leapt on that with all the appetite of a starving animal, but the new Vivian accepted it simply as a compliment, not a passport to the future.Content protected by Nôv/el(D)rama.Org.
“That’s nice.” she said,
“Nice? Nice?” He got to his feet, suddenly forbidding . “Is that all you’ve got to say?” he demanded. It was somewhat reassuring to see that not all of the old Scott had been replaced by the more caring, sharing version. The glitter in his dark eyes reminded her of his mastery, and a shiver ran the length of Vivian’s spine as she felt the slow, honeyed rush of desire.
“What do you want me to say, Scott? That I’m falling over myself with gratitude?”
“A little genuine pleasure would help!”
“Why have you come back? Just to tell me what you’ve been doing? To show me how well you look? To pick up where we left off-”
“No.”
“No?” She couldn’t quite eradicate the alarm from her voice.
He shook his head. “I don’t want to pick up where we left off. I’d like to start again.”
She stared at him.
“To start again,” he repeated. “With you. Only properly, this time. If that’s what you want.”
“Why?” The words came out-new for him, but old as time.
“Because I love you.”
She stilled, wanting to believe yet not quite daring to.
He wanted to touch her, but somehow it seemed important that he didn’t. Not yet. “Men spend their life fighting it and running away from it. Especially men like me. But I’m sick and tired of running. Somehow when I met you, the race no longer seemed important. I love you, Vivian. You’re beautiful and clever and kind and caring. You make me feel strong and yet powerless in equal measures. I’m in your thrall-I can’t stop thinking about you and that much hasn’t changed since the moment I first met you.”
A slow smile softened her lips.”Oh, Scott” she said.
“Did I ever tell you how much I admire you?” he breathed deeply, “First of all, the woman you were asking me about… The one who was in the pictures with me at that party. I wasn’t really dating her. She is a friend. Her brother and I were rivals. We’ve been for years. To get back at me, he hurt Sara. He deceived her, got her pregnant and abandoned her. He didn’t even care when she lost the baby. I was furious and I wanted revenge, so I dug up some dirt on him and I tried to use his sister too. The way he used mine. ”
Vivian’s hands tightened around her. She was shocked,” Oh Scott. I’m so, so sorry. “