In Love With My Boyfriend’s Brother

Sarah asks me:

“So, Sky, how is New York?,”

Yan looks me in the eye as if he really wants to know, but not only that, other things too.

I answer:

“Good, nice I think, and…”

I’m about to say something else, but Sarah interrupts me:

“Yan didn’t tell me you were coming…”

We catch ourselves looking into each other’s eyes for a while, I can’t decipher what he is feeling. He takes a deep breath and then grabs a piece of fruit from a plate on the table and brings it to his mouth. I think he wants to look casual, I don’t know if I can act like this.

I just say:

“He didn’t know.”

When he looks back at me, kind of surprised that I am enjoying this scene of a piece of fruit going into his mouth, making me wish it was me, I realize that Sarah is still looking at me waiting for me to answer some question she asked.

I say:

“I’m sorry. What did you say?”

She continues as if I didn’t “fly” for a few seconds, making me feel bad for it.

“I love Times Square.”

She says a few more things about New York and the trips she has made there and I can’t pay much attention, even though I know I am being rude.

I haven’t prepared myself to talk to anyone else. Who I want to talk to doesn’t seem to be possible right now.

Yan takes me by surprise when he asks:

“How did you find me here?”

I know he wants to know, but he asks more so that this doesn’t get any more awkward than it already is.

“Max…”

I see him straighten up in his chair, he looks uncomfortable, making me have some percentage of doubt if I did the right thing coming here to look for him.

I continue:

“He gave me his address.”

He smiles, not the smile I love and wanted to see, just a discreet smile, then asks again:

“And how is everybody over there?”

Wow, even he’s not faking it well today, maybe it’s the surprise of seeing me here, or he just doesn’t want me here, I feel uncomfortable now, but I answer:

“Max, kylie, Shane, they are all fine, I talked to Shane and Max a little while ago, they miss you.”

He has that smile again that I didn’t like. Sarah seems to find it all so interesting, she doesn’t even know that the questions I want to answer are others.

Her phone rings. She apologizes and answers. I take the opportunity to look at Yan, who looks at me the same way, we are uncomfortable here. But we need to pretend.

Sarah says into the phone:

“No, of course, we will, I just need to change It.”

She smiles and hangs up. I guess that’s my cue to leave. I get up and say I’m coming, Yan doesn’t seem to like what he hears, but he’s not trying hard to keep me here either.

Sarah says:Nôvel/Dr(a)ma.Org - Content owner.

“No, Yan and I are supposed to meet some friends at a party, why don’t you come with us?”

I look at Yan, but he shows no reaction. I want to be near him, but what do I do?

She’s still waiting for an answer, I say:

“I’d better not.”

She says:

“Yes unless you have something better to do?”

I look at her and she smiles waiting for my answer, she insists:

“Please, Sky?”

I came back to the hotel with a note with the address of the party.

I’ve taken a shower and am staring at the note still wearing a bathrobe and sitting on the bed.

I need to talk to Yan. I know it’s not going to happen at this party, but just imagining that I’m going to be in the same environment as him, well, that’s a good enough reason for me to go there.

The problem is that he will be with her. They are together, that was very obvious to me. I should have imagined that he would be moving on with his life, the same way that I tried in my way, but it didn’t work out so well.

After thinking about the pros and cons, I put on a black dress and a jacket, because it is cold and I let my hair down, leaving my bangs to one side and wearing only a little make-up and nude lipstick.

I arrive in front of the place indicated in the address. As I approach the entrance where there are several people in line, one of the security guards asks my name and as I look at him a little confused he says:

You can go through it, Miss Hills is waiting for you inside.

I thank him and go ahead. When I am inside the club, Sarah sees me from afar and comes towards me saying:

“How nice that Paul found you!”

Paul?

“t’s my security guard. I described you to him and asked him to let you in as soon as you arrived.”

“Is this your club?”

She just smiles gracelessly. And says yes. I just say:

“Wow.”

She smiles even wider. I hate to admit that she is incredibly nice.

But I look around for a face, who has a body that I desire so much it hurts.

And seconds later when I’m sitting by the bar talking to Sarah, well, he’s coming towards us.

I look because I can’t stop doing that and go down my eyes over his body as he approaches. Sarah follows my eyes and sees him, damn, I guess I need to fake it better than I am trying so hard to do.

He moves closer and kisses her quickly, but his eyes return to the mine and he says:

“Hi, Sky.”

Just hearing him say my name brings back so many memories.

This hurts a little more.

Especially pretending that I couldn’t care less that he is hugging another girl in front of me and he looks nice and comfortable, while I struggle to fake that smile on my face.