Jack Of All Trades (Erotica)

The Shreen conferred with each other momentarily and Jack heard ‘Skrahak’ mentioned. Then Tanz shushed them so Jack could continue. Her eyes were wide with excitement.

“The man never had a chance with his handgun. The bullets just angered the bear. It reared up on its back legs and struck the man’s head with a massive paw. Caved his skull right in, killing him in one blow. Stupidly, I screamed. The bear turned and started to run towards me.”

More gasps.

“The rifle was on my back so I dropped the pack, pulled the rifle forward, and flipped off the safety. I think I might have wet myself I was so scared. Then the bear was in front of me and the rifle went off with a loud boom.”

“Did it get you?” Geng shrieked excitedly and the red stuff on her fork flew off to land on her husband’s cheek.

The table erupted with laughter except for Mirs who was wiping his face in annoyance.

Jack grinned at the female who was struggling to explain what she meant while the others gasped at the silliness of her question. He held up his hand to quiet the group. “Obviously I survived but I had to throw myself to the side after I pulled the trigger as it was charging. It still partially crashed into me and knocked the rifle from my hands and the wind from my lungs. As I lay there dazed on the ground I wondered when it would begin to eat me. It didn’t so I sat up and saw I’d been incredibly lucky. My bullet had caught the bear between the eyes. I searched for and found my rifle and put it with my pack. I didn’t have much time before it got dark so I dumped the cut wood over the man’s body as a temporary burial to protect his corpse from predators looking for a quick meal. Then I used my knife and the man’s sonic saw to butcher the bear and used the snow crawler and trailer to bring the bear meat back to the Ranger post. It helped me survive the winter but I was fired in the spring when I returned to Ranger headquarters. They didn’t blame me for how I handled the situation but the public was pissed off that as a public servant I didn’t protect the man. My bosses fired me as ‘punishment’ for them. It was a bad time.”

“You eat meat?” Hahn asked quietly.

“On occasion,” he responded carefully. “Humans are omnivores but on Altaria and here I restrict my diet to the local food.”

“Would you eat an insect?” Hahn continued.

“Hahn!” Tanz cried.

“No it’s fine! This reminds me of when I was a kid and a bunch of us would dare each other to eat more and more revolting things to prove how tough we were and how much of a weeny the other guy was,” Jack grinned.

“Weeny?” Berris asked.

“It’s a childhood taunt. We used it on kids who were afraid of everything,” he explained.

“How tough were you?” Hahn asked curiously.

“The toughest kid on my block!” Jack grinned. “Until Tommy Berretti ate a Brazilian cockroach he stole from the zoo.” He gestured how large the bug was. “Then he beat me up. Fame is fickle and fleeting. I’ve learned it’s better to keep your head down and avoid it.”

That earned him some chuckles and nods.

They finished up their meals and Tanz suggested they move to the living room to enjoy some after dinner drinks. Jack slipped his shoes off before descending into the cushions.

When she brought the chiller out with the bottle of Lussht he’d brought Jack promised himself he would limit his intake tonight.

The small glasses were handed out and Tanz got everyone’s attention. “There is a new tradition we will follow tonight. The Queen told me about it this morning.” There were a few giggles from the group and excited glances in Jack’s direction. “Nobody drink until I say to, ok?” Nods all around. She added a small amount of Lussht to each glass and put the bottle back in the chiller.

“Now, we raise our glasses and one of us makes a statement indicating something or someone we are honoring. Everyone repeats what they said and we drink.” She looked at Jack. “Am I doing it right?”

“Perfectly.”

She beamed a smile at him. “Could you do the first one?”

“I would be honored,” he said formally making her giggle.

“I would like to toast our wonderful host for making us an amazing meal and for gathering us together in a home as welcoming and beautiful as she is. To Tanz!” He looked at the stunned expressions on the faces around him. “Uh, you only have to say that last part.”

“To TANZ!” they cheered and Jack grinned at the woman who was looking just a little overcome but happy. They tossed back the liquid.

This time he paid especially close attention to determine what it was about the taste that was so tantalizingly recognizable. Ice down the throat and boom! Heat in the belly. He sighed. He’d missed it again. Maybe one more. He was ok after two.

The bottle went around the glasses once more and Phan, who had been quiet all night leaned forward. “May I make the second toast?”

Tanz nodded and gestured for him to proceed.

“Thank you.” He smiled bashfully to the others. “In light of the renewed love between our Queen and King I would like to make a toast to their love, may it serve as an example for all of us to follow, and inspire us to rekindle our own relationships! To love!”

“TO LOVE!” they bellowed and down went the Lussht.

Jack closed his eyes and felt the bloom of heat fill his being. He wasn’t sure but he thought that happened much later in his drinking the night before. He opened his eyes and smiled at Phan. “You know, you really have the heart of a poet.” The male dipped his eyes bashfully but his wife rubbed her face against his and he smiled lovingly at her.

Seeing the love in the couple’s eyes Jack glanced conspiratorially over to Tanz. “You know it’s the quiet ones that hide so much passion inside.”

The group burst into giggles and Jack couldn’t stop a brief snort of his own from escaping.

He looked down and saw the small glasses were suddenly half full. He was going to protest but this small amount would be fine.

“Who would like to make the next toast?” Tanz asked.

“Oh! I have one!” Geng said excitedly. She lifted her glass and looked at Jack. “To the love doctor!”

Jack’s hand wobbled in surprise and he spilled some of his drink onto his hand. Before the liquid could drip from his fingers he transferred the glass to his other hand and licked his fingers clean. The slippery stuff had gotten between his fingers so he had to chase it with his tongue. When he glanced up after sucking his fingers clean he saw seven pairs of eyes locked on him. The bloom of warmth was making him tingle so he just smiled. “Sorry, what were we toasting again?”

Tanz burst into giggles which triggered the others. They raised their glasses and slammed them back.

Jack shrugged and finished off his glass. This time he really felt the rush and his head was drifting up into the clouds.

“Jack?”

“Hmmm?” he said turning his head towards the smooth voice.

“How did you become a sex specialist?” Tanz asked.

He snorted in amusement and shook his head. “That’s silly. I’m no such thing!” he said with a grin.

“Is love doctor the right term?” she continued.

He focused on her lovely dark grey eyes, looking into his curiously. His mind was caught in a loop with that term. This wasn’t the first time he’d heard it. When had he heard it first? Oh! In the shop today… but…

“Where did you hear that term?” he asked her.

She grinned and the others did as well. “It’s on the entertainment news. You were in a shop and some ladies heard you say it. The title is very popular!”

Jack groaned. “I was teasing! I don’t consider myself a love doctor or a sex specialist or even that knowledgeable on the topic. I like sex. A lot! I appreciate beauty where I see it but that doesn’t make be special or unique and certainly not an expert. I just know a few things.”

“Teacher,” Julli gasped, eyes twinkling with excitement.

“To learning new things!” Tanz said lifting her glass.

Jack looked in his glass and it was full. He didn’t recall anyone pouring but he tossed it back with the others.

The stars were so beautiful and he was so fortunate to be flying amongst them. So warm and comfortable.

“Jack?”

There was that delicious voice again. He smiled and turned his head to the side. Large soft eyes were looking back at him.

“Will you share your lessons with us?” Tanz asked gently. She was so sweet he thought.

“What little I know I will gladly share,” he said with a nod and heard a trilling sound. He pushed himself up on the cushions to a seated position and saw the happy faces of the other guests looking back at him. “Hello!”Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.