Love Aint Always Pretty

Chapter 23: 23 Idée Fixe

Idée Fixe

- an idea that dominates one's mind especially for a prolonged period; obsession

Origin: French

23

"Please tell me you'll come?"

Here comes Tracy again, begging me to go along with her and her friends. I love Tracy but I don't love... I don't like, at least, most of her friends. It's a mutual feeling though and whenever Penny is around, all she'll ever do is to retaliate me. She gets to my nerve like I how I get into hers. She hates the way I dress. She hates every thing I do. She hates me being around the same place that she's around. She hates me. She loathes my entire being.

Penny is just so hateful. And I'm sure as hell that she's just jealous of me cos I am way better than her. She looks like a prostitute with those kind of clothes on her. And I look like the kind of woman that men respects more.

And if it's not only Tracy's birthday this Saturday I wouldn't wanna go. But since she's turning twenty and I'm her roommate, and she begs a lot then I know I have to go. I wouldn't want to disappoint her but I was actually thinking my absence won't make any difference at all.

"Please Savannah?" She pouts.

I smiled. "Okay. I'll go."

"Yey! It's not only a party. It's like dinner then party. We won't be staying at the frat house. Romeo's letting me borrow his father's lake house." She smiles happily.

"Lake house? Wow."

"Yeah. Wow."

"I thought Nick has a problem with rich people?" I asked.

Tracy smiled ruefully. "Romeo and Nick aren't really that close. Romeo and Clyde are the ones who were friends from the start that's why Romeo is also my friend."

I nod, showing her that I understand. "Will Penny be there?" I asked.

She chuckles, she knows I hate her. "Yeah. Since she's in our circle, then I think she's really gonna go. Don't worry, I'm there."

I smiled at her.

"Oh I gotta go. Don't wanna be late for my last class. See you later!" She waves while starts to runaway from me.

I waved back at Tracy and started walking to the opposite direction. It has been three days since I saw Nick. Tracy said he's been busy with a few of his exams and looking for a company where he can do his internship. I forgot to ask Tracy what Nick's course was and now I'm curious about it all of a sudden. Well, actually everything about Nick makes me curious as hell and I've never been this curious towards a guy.

It has been days since the last time I saw Nick. Three days since the last time we had sex. Three days of thinking when I'm gonna see him again. Three days of constant imagining about what we did that night in my room before I go to sleep. Three days... And it already feels too long.

I'm sure he's going to see me again cos of this book he borrowed from the library and it's still with me.

I always think about him even though I don't want to. I always find myself imagining that he's inside my room. I always imagine what we did when I stare at my bed. I always force myself to think that I miss what we did and not him. I always try to keep myself busy but later on in the middle of what I'm doing, I stop cos I'm thinking of him again.

Sometimes I lie awake in the middle of the night and I just keep on thinking about him. Thinking about Nick. I know I need to get some sleep cos I got classes the following day and then here's also this novel that I need to finish and study before the deadline but I do it all the time; I always think of him. I try to read the novel but he's consuming my mind. He hasn't texted or called or checked on me. I think his effect on me after our first night is unhealthy to me and it's just our first night.

Nick is not near me but it feels like he's everywhere I go. He's not watching me but it feels like his eyes are following me.

I headed to my dorm and tried to finish my summary about the classic novel. This story was about an unexpected love between Philip and Mary but then they lost each other cos of their family differences and after ten years they found their way to each other again. Philip was already a soldier and he found out that Mary was already married and already had a family. But their spark ignited and their old feelings rekindled. The ending wasn't happily ever after cos Philip died on a war not knowing that Mary was conceiving their first child after ten years of being apart. Sad story.

When I was finish writing my summary, it was the perfect time for me to grab dinner. I'm famished. Tracy said she'll be out with Clyde and since she can't find Nick anywhere, she felt sorry that I have to grab dinner alone. She asked me to come along with them but then I wouldn't want to be their third wheel. I grabbed my cardigan putting it over my white sleeveless and then placed my silky black shorts on me and fixed my hair in front of my mirror. My phone vibrated and I'm sure it was Nick.

I was hoping it was Nick.

Aries calling...

I sighed.

"Hey." I answered.

"Hi angel!" He greets happily.

I smile. I always smile when he calls me angel. "What's up?"

"I'm right outside your dorm actually, are you inside?" He asked.

"Yeah. Why?"

"Dinner together?"

I smiled. "Perfect timing. I was about to grab dinner. Be right outside in a minute."

"Alright."

I hang up and hurriedly stumbled my way out of the dorm. I found Aries standing close to his car with his signature baseball cap placed backwards and that striking grin plastered on his face. I walked close to him and I'm not doing anything wrong right now. We're just going out for dinner and I always tell myself not to get smitten by him. I see Aries more brotherly and not the way I see Nick when he's in front of me.

Stop mentioning Nick. Stop thinking about his name. He hasn't even showed himself for three days after he had sex with you. I scolded myself.

Aries opens the passenger door for me and I quickly climbed inside. He walks around his car and enters the driver's seat. He started the engine right away and he asked me how I was. He said I was

cool about that beer pong game. Gosh that was so long ago and I haven't seen him much lately. He said he was busy with his exams most of the times. Of course he is, he's taking up finance.

When we reached the diner we quickly settled down on the table and ordered up. Aries kept talking about the days we haven't seen each other and most were shenanigans he did with his friends. I found out that he visited her grandmother last weekend and I love how he's such a sweet guy even though he's the goddamn Vice President of Phi Delta Theta.

"I hope I'm not boring you." He says.

I smiled. "Oh no. You're not. Never. Trust me. You're ridiculously talkative."

He laughs. "How was your weekend?"

My weekend?

Well, I was so drunk one night then found myself waking up right next to Nick. Tracy forced me to go with them cos it was Sunday and I wanted to get away a little bit. We went to their mother's grave. We went to their old house. Nick cooked for us. It was very delicious. We had to stay behind cos there was a storm that night, Nick said it was risky to drive at night. Nick had a cut on his hand. I cleaned his wound inside the bathroom. I don't know how it happened but it happened. He kissed me. I kissed him. We talked about having a deal that we're only after each other for sex. I agreed to it. And I just had sex with him three nights ago. All in all my weekend was insanely amazing!

"It was great." I answered.

He smiled. "That's good to hear. Are you going to Tracy's mini birthday party this Saturday?"

I nod. "Yeah. She asked me about it just a while ago. You're going too?"

He nods while looking at me. "I guess I have a reason to go now."

And that reason is me?

Both of us got quiet for a short while and he's showing me signs that he's into me. This is the kind of guy that I can tell us attracted to me unlike Nick.

Damn it. I'm saying his name again.

I just smiled on my seat but I tried not to give a meaning to what Aries just said to me. "Do you know what I could get Tracy as a birthday gift?" I asked.

"Well doesn't women like clothes?"

I smiled. "Good idea but I don't know her size. How about a charm bracelet? Will a bracelet be okay?" ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

He smiled before taking a drink from his soda. "I don't really know why you're asking me that. I'm not good at giving gifts as well."

I laughed. He's right. Some men do suck at giving gifts to women.

"I can go with you if you want. I think I'll buy something for her too." He said.

I nod at him. My eyes quickly moved out of the window, it was raining hard outside. Aries was also looking to the window and we can't barely see the road that much because of the heavy rain pouring down.

"That's all of a sudden." He said.

He turned to me. "Should we be going?"

"I think we should stay in a little longer. It's kind of pouring hard outside." I answered.

"Okay. Ice cream?"

I chuckled. "It's already raining and you want us to eat ice cream? Wow. I never thought you'd ask but yes."

He smiled.

Aries started calling the waitress again and my mind was thinking about Nick. I just can't stop thinking about Nick. Right now, after three days, I have this aching need to see him, to hear his voice. That aching need of wanting him which can make me feel bliss if it happens.

I still feel his lips on those parts of me where he marked them. It's like he marked me. I'm his territory. He owns me physically but I'm not allowed to hand him my heart cos I'm not allowed to love him.

When the parfaits were served, Aries started telling me some funny stories. And it was funny. I was even laughing at him. He's really a great guy, I tell you. Now I know why women is attracted to him, he's so nice and friendly compared to Nick.

What the hell Savannah? Stop thinking about Nick too much. He's probably out there busy fucking other women. He may not be thinking of you.

And just as I was about to stop thinking about him, his manly physique stood right across me. I almost dropped my spoon. I thought I was hallucinating but I wasn't. I even rubbed my eyes to make sure. But Nick is really here. He wore a plain white v-neck shirt, black leather jacket, black skinny jeans and a pair of dirty white shoes. The smile on my face faded when I saw him looking at me. His hair was partially wet from the rain outside and my heartbeat is racing. Alec spots me and started walking towards my table while Nick was just walking right next to him.

"Oh. You two dating?" Alec asked as he sat right next to Aries.

Aries chuckled. "Just dinner. Hey man."

They did a little handshake and Nick quietly sits right next to me. So close to me that I wish he won't hear my heart beating loud. Calm the hell down Savannah. Holy smokes his musky scent just filled my nostrils. He smells more delicious than this ice cream I'm eating. It's been three days I haven't seen him and tonight is so unexpected. I tried to breathe in properly.

"Hey Nick." Aries said to Nick.

"Hey." Nick answered with a nod.

I just bent my head down and focused on my ice cream. I feel like I've done some thing wrong that he caught me with Aries. But he didn't say I'm not allowed to see or go out with other guys. We were more focused on being sexual with each other and I'm sure he doesn't mind this at all.

"You're going to Tracy's mini party Savannah?" Alec asked.

I pulled my head up to him. "Yeah. I think I am going."

"Aries said he won't go. You're gonna miss the fun bro." Alec said to Aries.

"I changed my mind. I'm going since Savannah is going." Aries winked at me.

I smiled at him. "And you still have to go with me to buy her a gift."

Aries smiled happily. "Of course. Maybe tomorrow. Since it's Friday."

I nod with a smile and all of a sudden I feel a warm hand on my lap. I froze for a second and my smile fades. I looked down on my lap and Nick was holding my inner thigh. His fingers gently squeezing on my skin and I gazed at him but he was just looking right at them. It's as if he's telling me that he physically owns me too.

You own my body Nick. No one else.

Holy crap I just feel a movement down there. I quickly looked back down.

His thumb.

His freaking thumb is brushing on my sex.

It's not an accidental touch, but he's repeating it again.... and again. Oh Jesus he's teasing me. And I can really feel it cos my shorts aren't that thick. I tried to calm down and tried not to show that I was bothered. But on the back of my mind, I'm already in the agony of wanting to moan and just kiss him right here. Right now.

I inhaled deeply and exhaled heavily through my mouth

"You okay Savannah?"

I pulled my head up to Aries and I think he noticed me having heavy breathing. I cleared my throat. "Y- yeah. I was... Uhh..."

I gulped. Say something Savannah.

Alec, Aries and Nick were looking at me while he's still doing it. Damn it Nick. They were waiting for me to say something. Say anything Savannah!

"The ice cream...." I snapped.

"It's too cold." I lied.

I glanced at Nick and he quickly bent his head down with a smirk on his face. I continued eating but his hand was still on my lap now rubbing my inner thigh.

I let him continue what he was doing cos I liked it. I miss the way his hands touch me. I miss that feeling when his skin is on my skin. I miss the way he makes me feel good just by one touch.

I was doing so good and then you do one tiny little thing and now I can't get a hold of myself Nick.

__________

SFTC:

Obsessed - Miley Cyrus