Novel Square
Before I Lose It
Before I Lose It
Staring at the dark circles under my eyes in the mirror, I was finally convinced that I had to do
something about this recurring nightmare before I really lose it. The answer was simple enough to
identify but as always it was much harder to execute. I should tell Hayden about the dream and simply
ask him about it. There are two reasons why I haven’t done that just yet.
First, I had been trying to understand what the dream could mean and how it may have a link to reality.
So far, I’ve come up with a very plausible theory even if I do say so myself. Second, it was just plain
hard to bring this topic up to Hayden. Something told me that he wouldn’t like to discuss it with me. I’ve
realized it way before now that Hayden wasn’t a fan of digging up old relics from the past.
It was a few days later when I found the perfect opportunity to talk about it with Hayden. Thankfully, we
didn’t have to do anything in preparation for our wedding ceremony or celebration. The boss was happy
enough if we could just stick to the old sequence that we rehearsed last time which was easy enough
for both of us. That meant that we both had a lot of free time on our hands. I’ve taken a break from
accepting new commission art projects for now, but this free time gave me the opportunity to wrap up Content © copyrighted by NôvelDrama.Org.
some pending commissions.
There was an urgent piece of work that I had to work on that couldn’t be pushed back like some of the
rest. Ironically, it was a painting of a couple who were getting married. The bride’s mother had
commissioned it as a wedding present for her daughter. That meant that the painting had to be
completed in time before her daughter’s wedding. It was quite funny that I had to be working on a
wedding present for someone else when my own celebration was just around the corner.
Hayden walked into my art studio late in the afternoon and that caught me by surprise. I cocked my
head to the side as he plopped himself down on a stool close to me. I wondered why Hayden was
home so early today.
“Not so much work today?” I took a guess.
“Yeah…thankfully…” Hayden replied as he shrugged off his white suit.
“Are you hungry? It might be a little early for dinner now, though…” I asked before shifting my attention
back to the painting in front of me.
I felt Hayden’s presence close behind me and realized that he was standing behind me now. He was
probably looking at the paint that I was working on.
“Looks good. Your client is getting married?” he asked.
“No, but her daughter is. That’s why I’m working hard to finish this off,” I replied before I turned to flash
him a smile.
“I guess you’re not excited about our wedding anymore…” Hayden said with a small laugh.
“I’m just praying that it would go smoothly this time, or your father will pop a vein somewhere for sure,” I
teased back.
“It better go well because it would be truly sad if we had to take a fourth crack at it,” Hayden replied
with a laugh.
“Are you free later today?” I asked while trying to keep my tone light and casual.
“I am. Why?” Hayden replied.
“Want to take a little stroll in the garden today with me? It’s been a long while…” I suggested invitingly.
“…Sure,” Hayden replied before he wrapped his arms around my shoulders and hugged me from
behind.
“I need to work, you know…” I muttered in slight protest.
“Right. I’ll leave you to it. I’ll be around…call me when you’re done,” Hayden said as he willingly let go
of me.
When Hayden left, I let out a long sigh. This is going to be a strange and very difficult conversation for
me, and I had no idea how Hayden would react. If I got this all wrong, he would probably think that I’ve
lost my mind for sure.
…
The wind in my face and hair was pleasant and calming. Hayden held my hand as we walked slowly
through the gardens of the mansion. It just before sunset and there was just enough light from the sun
in the sky. After we have this chat, which shouldn’t take long, we should be in time to have our usual
dinner together.
“Should we take a seat?” I said invitingly when we arrived in front of a bench.
This area in was quite deep in the garden and it was very private. Normally, no one ventured into the
gardens that often anyways besides from the gardeners and it was past their working hours by then. I
figured that no one would disturb us here and the view from this bench was a bonus to the eyes.
“Sure,” Hayden agreed passively.
We sat down on the bench side and side. I took in a deep breath as if to enjoy the fresh air but that
wasn’t the case. The truth was, I was so nervous of what I needed to say to him.
“Umm…You lied, right?” I asked.
Hayden turned to look at me with an astonished look on his face. He didn’t bother to hide his surprise
at my words and then his eyes narrowed at me.
Did that come out too much like an accusation just now? Why does it look like Hayden’s about to
pounce on me and tear me to tiny pieces?
“I mean…” I mumbled as I tried to find better words. So much for rehearsing this beforehand…
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Hayden replied quite darkly.
The coward in me told me that it wasn’t too late to turn this conversation around to talk about
something else instead. However, I no longer wanted to listen to the coward in me.
“When you told me that you didn’t know anything about the last time that I was kidnapped. You were
lying, right?” I asked again, this time with much more context than the last.
--To be continued…