Mafia Desire (Erotica)

She licked my neck and planted a kiss on the wet mark her tongue left. Damn it. My head and my cock both thought that was a hot as hell move she’d pulled. I fought to remain focused on talking this out.

“You have no idea how badly I want you. But this is some heavy shit we’re getting into.” I took a deep breath, “This could ruin our lives, you know? It’s really fucked up.”

“You want me?” Amy asked, even in the darkness, I could feel her eyes on me.

“You sorta picked up on the wrong half of that statement, but yes, I want you. More than you know. Maybe more than you will ever know.”

“Is this just about sex for you?” She asked timidly. There was a note of worry in her voice, but she was trying to hide it.

“Not at all.” I replied as I sat up and scooted back to prop my back against the wall. “I mean, if that’s all it was and you felt the same, we might could just sleep together and get on with our lives. It’s kind of fucked up, but it’s not insurmountable. At least I don’t think it is, you know? It’s a lot more than sex for me. That’s what scares me.”

I couldn’t decide if it was good or bad that we were in darkness. I felt really exposed talking about my feelings like this. Not only because I was in love with someone I shouldn’t be, but because I wasn’t one to express my feelings in general. I couldn’t see her beautiful face, or the effect my words had on her. In some ways, that was a relief.

I felt Amy shifting on the bed as she sat up and scooted over to me. She felt for my knees, then turned to face away from me, pushing herself back to lay against me. Leaning back to rest her head on my shoulder, she pulled my arms around her. “I want you to hold me.” It wasn’t a request.

“I can do that.” I hugged her to me, taking in the smell of her hair again. She relaxed against me.

“It’s more than that for me, too.” She sighed, “I’ve been so confused. And scared to say anything.”

“I’m glad you did.” I allowed myself a small smile, “But there’s still a big problem.”

“Yeah, I know.” She hugged on my arms.

“You’re my little sister, and I love you. You are a huge part of my life. I can’t allow myself to cross a line that we can’t get back from. If it went bad for us. Everything would change. I have a responsibility to watch out for you. If I were to hurt you, I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t be there anymore. I don’t want you, don’t want us, to ever be something I regret. You mean too much to me for that.” I said, feeling more exposed than I ever had in my life. I could have walked into the University library ass naked and not felt as vulnerable as I did at that moment.

“Wow…” Amy said very softly. “I mean, holy… shit.”

“What?” I was puzzled.

“I think that is the most incredible thing anyone has ever said to me.” She sat up to stare at me in the darkness.

“Really? I stole that off of a Hallmark card. They have a whole selection of cards in their web store devoted to incest.” I was immediately rewarded with an elbow to the ribs.

“You can be such a jackass.” She laughed and let herself fall back into my arms. “You drop a line like that on me and then follow it up with wisecracks.”

“Sorry, I guess.” I replied, without much conviction. I’m a born wise ass, I can’t help it.

“Actually, it’s one of the things I love about you.” She sighed. “As far back as I can remember.”

After another few minutes passed in silence, then another elbow suddenly shot into my ribs.

“Oof!”

“Wait a damned minute!” She exclaimed, suddenly sounding indignant, “just sleep together and get on with our lives?! You think I’d be that forgettable in bed?”

“That’s not what I meant and you kno-” I was cut off by her mouth covering mine again. She was kissing me again, and chuckling when she stopped for air. I decided that if I died that night, having tasted no more than her lips and tongue, I felt I could die happy. A fucking degenerate who got off on kissing his little sister, but at least a happy one.

“I’m just screwing with you.” I could feel Amy’s smile against my throat as she was kissing it repeatedly, before whispering seductively in my ear. “But just so you know, I’d do everything I could to blow your mind. And I’m pretty sure I could do it, too.”

My heart nearly seized up for the third or fourth time that night, not quite believing the words that I heard coming from my baby sister, but my cock certainly got the memo, as I was certain there was no way she didn’t feel it pressing against her back by now. Mercifully, she didn’t mention it.

“I’d love to see you try. But we can’t…”

“I know.” She held me close to her, and I hugged back. We lay there in silence for a while before she spoke again. “Fucking Rome. I’m going to miss you so much. I almost don’t want to go anymore.”

“Don’t be silly, Amy.” I stroked her hair. “This trip is huge for you. You guys saved for it for years. I’ll still be here when you get back. It’s only two weeks.”

“It’s the longest we’ve ever been apart in our entire lives, you know that? Two weeks.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m really looking forward to the peace and quiet.”

“Asshole.” But there was no malice in her voice, only mild humor and affection.This belongs © NôvelDra/ma.Org.

“I’m going to miss you, too.” I kissed the top of her head, “But you are going to have a wonderful time.”

After a while, she seemed to fall asleep laying back against me as I remained propped up against the wall. I didn’t sleep. I just listened to her breathing and took in her smell, marveling that I was holding my baby sister in my arms in a way that I had so desperately wanted to and would never dare to imagine I would. Despite being taught from a young age that how I felt about her was seriously fucked up and even illegal to act on, she felt right in my arms. I wasn’t sure how to reconcile that in my head.

Just when I was about to fall asleep, I felt her small hand slide up to my throat, the ball of her thumb resting just below my Adam’s apple and her long, delicate fingers wrapping up around the side of my neck and base of my shoulder. It occurred to me that she could crush my esophagus from this position. Or try to, anyway. I glanced down at her as her head tilted to look up at me. I could see the curve of her smile in the darkness.

“I think.. as long as we are always honest with each other and take things as they come we will be fine.” She said softly.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that as long as we are always honest with each other, always, there won’t be room for us to hurt one another and come to regret each other. That way my big brother can always be there for me, as he should and more, and we can worry about whatever lines there are when we get to them instead of having them haunt us with words like ‘never’ and ‘can’t’…”

I thought about it for a few minutes, “Maybe…”

“I can live with ‘maybe’. ‘Never’ and ‘can’t’ would be much harder to deal with.” She leaned up and kissed my throat above her hand.

“Amy?”

“Yeah?”

“Were you gonna choke me out if I still said ‘never’?” She could hear the note of humor in my voice. She knew then that I wouldn’t turn my back on our feelings for each other. I don’t think I could have made any other decision if I were honest with myself. Wrong or not, I was in love with her.

Her hand slowly slid down from my throat to my chest and she patted it once, lightly. “… such a jackass.”

I heard her breathing slow as she drifted off to sleep again. I looked at the clock a short while later, and saw that I had only an hour before I had to leave for work. Time flies. I gently woke her up. We said our goodbyes and she quietly padded to her bedroom. I showered and got dressed. Just before I left the house for the morning, I slipped into her bedroom for one last goodbye kiss, lingering long enough to risk making myself late. Then I headed to get the store open for the day, feeling like a total asshole for not taking her to the airport. I got through the work day on caffeine and the strange sense of elation that accompanies the discovery someone wants you as much as you do them. Even if you aren’t supposed to want them. When the shift mercifully ended, my eyes burning from lack of sleep, I went home and collapsed face first on the bed and slept until nearly midnight. The last thing I noticed as sleep overtook me was that the sheets smelled like Amy.