MARRY ME NOW

A lot of thoughts were going through my mind. Did I have the heart to use him for revenge? That’d mean hurting him. Why was I even scared of hurting him? he has always used every chance he has got to hurt me.

But doing that would be so heartless. Thinking deeply about it discouraged me. I shouldn’t be thinking of something like this.

There are lots of other ways I could have revenge… Well, not lots, but there might be a way apart from this. There must be a way.

No! There isn’t! This is the only way!

There is, actually. Two voices argued in my head. “What do you want here?” I asked immediately as we parted. My voice was meaner than intended. He looked taken aback by my sudden tone.

I shouldn’t have hugged him back.

I hated how my body reacted when he was close to me. I wish I have full control of my body. I once did, but suddenly I didn’t.

“I heard what happened,” he said after a minute of remaining quiet. “I got so worried,” he said. My jaw dropped for a quick second before I clicked it back shut.

Worried? Why would he be worried about me? Since when has he ever cared for me? He has never failed to show just how much he hated me. Just once at that stupid engagement party where he managed to save me.

Yeah, you owe him your life. No, I do not! That’s just payback for the insults I have gotten from him since the day I first spoke to him. When his mom fired me, he didn’t even do anything about it.

I bet he was glad his mom did it before he could. He was nothing but a stranger to me now. A stranger I hated so much. Keep lying to yourself. My subconsciousness whispered.

As much as I wanted to convince myself that I hated him, I couldn’t deny that I have some sort of feelings for him… That’s one of the reasons that discourages me from using him. It might only make me fall for him more and then hurt myself in the end.

I can’t take that risk… And what was I even thinking? Using him to get revenge? It was so unlike me. I wanted to tell him that he has no right to be worried about me but I have a feeling that it might cause unnecessary drama.

I just want him to leave. I couldn’t define how I felt with him around. “Uh.. Thanks? You can go now.” I said before turning around to go back into the house but his voice stopped me.

“Tessa.” I heard him call my name which for some reason made me snap. I turned back around to face him. “What?!” I snapped at him.

“Are you okay?” He asked. I scoffed. “Since when did you care if I’m okay or not? What are you trying to get out of this? Why are you even here? For Christ’s sake, we have no connection whatsoever, you’re just a stranger who once made my life hell. Just go away!” I snapped. Hopefully, that would make him go away.

You could tell he was hurting with the look in his eyes. Don’t fall for it, do not fall for it! I could always just turn around and quickly walk back into the house.

And that was what I did… Slamming the door shut, I rest my back on the door and dramatically slide down. Ah, my heart was beating so fast. I buried my face in my palms.

Why do I feel guilty for telling him off like that? I’m not supposed to. He deserved it. He has done much worst for sure. He’s probably one of those people who think others don’t have feelings or others’ feelings don’t matter… At least from what I see.

“What happened?” I heard a voice startling me. I looked up to see Gwyneth. “Nothing,” I muttered.

“It-”

“I need to relax, I’m really tired.” I faked a yawn before getting up and walking into the room. I closed the door before moving over to the bed and fell on it. I’m so stupid, why did I have to talk to him like that?! I thought. But why would I be stupid for that though?

I should have invited him into the house… I thought again. Obviously, it wasn’t me thinking all that, it was sleepy me. Lots of scenarios with me and Austin clouded my mind. It was like I was in some sort of trance.

~

Dream

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“You’re acting like this to cover the way you feel about me but it’s doing the opposite.” Austin chuckled. I noticed a little dimple on his cheeks. He looks so good. How can a human be that good-looking and that hot? He’s forbidden fruit, like for real. He had this dangerous aura around him that screamed for me to run.

I glared at him. “I don’t have any feelings for you and if I do, it is pure hatred.”

He let out a dark chuckle and walked closer to me. He placed his left hand on my waist. It made me shiver. I wanted more of him. I wanted his hand everywhere on my body…

He leaned in and whispered to my ear. “Oh?”

“Your body says something entirely different… I know you want me…” He whispered seductively. Oh, God.

“I- I don’t..” I tried to say, but it died in my throat. His soft lips touched my neck. All I wanted to do at that moment was to cling unto him and never let go…

~

End of the first dream

~

I jerked up from the bed breathing heavily. It was just a dream. Just a dream… But it felt surreal.. How could I have dreamt something like that? This is the first time I had a wet dream in almost 3 years. I’m not supposed to dream those types of dreams.

Especially not about him… First, he invaded my mind… Now my dreams? I need to stop thinking about him. ASAP.

I looked at the clock which was ticking, it was the only noise being made. 12:54 am.

I don’t think I could go back to sleep after having that nightmare.

I laid back on the bed trying not to fall back asleep. But I failed miserably, I was asleep in minutes.

~

Dream

~

I sat beside Jake and Gwyneth. We were playing truth and dare with Carson, Dave, Austin and Loren.

Loren has been giving me the death glare since she got here. I felt uncomfortable under her stare. The rolling bottle stopped at me. “Ah! Finally, it’s your turn!” Dave said.

“Truth or Dare?” Dave asked…

“Uh…” If I go with a dare, they might ask me to do something I didn’t want to do, I mean… That’s what dare is all about right?

“I’d go with the truth..”

“The person you have feelings for… Is he in our midst?” He asked. I choked. I looked at all of them. It was like their eyes were penetrating me… Especially Austin’s..

“Uh..”

“You choose truth so you have to say the truth,” Jake said.

“Yeah, you did,” Loren said with an evil glint in her eyes which looked scary as hell. It was like her eyes were penetrating my soul. I gulped.

“I.. I..”

~

End of the dream, lol

~

I jerked off the bed when I heard a loud storm. It was just a dream… Only a dream… Okay, that’s it. I’m not going back to sleep again.

~

I walked out of the room. I really need to take a walk, clear my head and think straight. “Finally, you’ve gotten out. I thought you strangled yourself in there.” Gwyneth said dramatically.

“Uh.. Sorry, I was uh..”

“It’s okay, I guessed you must be really tired.” She said. Well, I wished it was that and not stupid Austin poking through my thoughts and dreams. I mentally rolled my eyes.

“Yeah.. I was… I uh, need to go for a quick walk.”

“Okay.” She replied. Before I could take a step, the doorbell dinged. Let it not be Austin! I don’t want to see him ever again… I wouldn’t go get the door either just in case the person in Austin.

“I’d go get the door,” Gwyneth said, I nodded my head. I watched her walk away. 4 minutes later, she came back with Jake trailing behind her. I sighed in relief.

“Hey.” I greeted Jake, expecting him to reply back, but he didn’t. I noticed his jaw locked. Was he angry? Was he angry at me? It seems to be me who he was angry. I bit my lower lip nervously.

“Is anything wrong?” I asked. I looked at Gwyneth, she still seems to be figuring out Jake’s mood. She walked away quickly. “Talk to me Jake, why are you being like this?” I demanded.

“You’re after him, aren’t you? You feel something for him, you’ve known me longer than you knew him, how’d you fall for him so quickly… Am I not good en-” he cut himself off realising what he was saying. He was clenching and unclenching his jaw.

“What do you mean?” I asked. I was going to break down, I didn’t like seeing Jake like this, or seeing him being this mad at me. He was hurting and anyone could tell.

He was trying to say something, but it was like he was scared to say it. I wanted him to say it out rather than keep it to himself. “I’m after who? Please, make it more clear, I don’t get what you’re trying to say.”

“Fucking drop the act,” He spat. My eyes widened for a split second. “You’re such a good actress, Tessa. All these while, you’ve been playing the victim. The victim of your own self. After all the research, the evidence all points to you. You’re behind the fire incident… And now that I’m thinking of it, you’re behind everything that has been happening.. Just so you could get sympathies? and get closer to him? I thought I could trust you, Tessa, I thought you were fucking different.”

“What are you talking about?” I cried in horror. “Why’d I burn down my own apartment and property?! w-”

“Jake!” I called. I ran after him. His strides were really long that he got outside in seconds. He got to his car and locked the door before I could reach him.

“Jake, please, you have to hear me out, I swear, I don’t know what you’re talking about, I swear to God! Just hear me out!” I cried, hitting his locked window. The car screeched and then drove away. I almost fell to the floor with the sudden movement of the car.

“Jake..” I murmured crying. Why’d he thought I’d do that? What’d I gain from doing something like that? I couldn’t bear losing Jake, I’ve known him for so long, he has always been there for me and now suddenly losing him?

I burst out crying. Why was this happening to me? It was like life itself hates me. I’m sure it does. It has never been fair to me.

My lips and hands quivered. My eyes were blurry with tears and sobs escaped my lips. Jake…

I bent down and buried my face in my palms crying helplessly. I believe someone was behind all this. No one wanted my life to be peaceful after all.

~

I sat on a comfy chair in the living room. My face was red, my head was beating so fast. I suddenly felt numb. Emotionless. “Why’d he think you’d do that? I thought..” Gwyneth murmured.

“You believe I didn’t do it?” I spoke for the first time in two hours.

“Of course, I do. I believe someone is behind all this… But who?” She asked herself.

“Thank you..”

“You don’t have to say thank you, though.”

~

All day, I have been thinking about Jake. I tried dialling his number countless times, but it wasn’t going. It was okay to believe he changed his number.

I sniffed. I’ve lost almost everything. I bit my lower lip sorrowfully, drawing out a little blood.

I heard the doorbell dinged. Ugh. Who was it now? Gwyneth left the house to buy groceries and wouldn’t be back till 6 pm. Anne had her eyes glued to the TV. At least, she’s happy.

I got up from where I sat and walked to the front door, I looked through the peephole. Austin. Ugh, what did he want? There was no way I was going to open that door.

I swiftly turn around to go back, I could ask him about Jake, he’s Jake’s friend… The doorbell dinged again. I turned back to the door and opened it.

“Hey.. How is Jake? Have you heard from him?” I asked quickly. His jaws clenched when I said Jake. He didn’t answer me.

“Hey..”

“Who’s in front of you?” He asked.

“Uh. You?”

“Then why ask of him?” He snapped.

“I just. Never mind.”

The cloth he wore looked so familiar, has he worn them before? I don’t think he wears cloth again after wearing them once… I tried to remember where, it gave me some sort of vibe.

The dream. These are exactly the cloth he wore in the dream. Was what I dreamt going to happen?

“Uh. Thanks for coming, you can go now.” I said trying to lock the door but his leg stopped it. “I’m not done talking to you.” He said.

I glared at him.

.

.

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….