Chapter 56: Ansel’s psychological struggle
As usual, during lunchtime, Ansel and Nika went down to the company cafeteria together. Ansel was sitting across from Nika, focusing on finishing his lunch, while Nika was engrossed in her phone. Nika’s behavior sparked Ansel’s curiosity.
Ansel cleared his throat and said, “Nika, please focus. Your lunch is getting cold. You should understand the importance of taking breaks and enjoying a proper lunch.”© 2024 Nôv/el/Dram/a.Org.
Ansel wanted to initiate a conversation and gather information with a gentle reminder. Upon hearing Ansel’s words, Nika finally lifted her gaze from her phone and quickly responded:
“I know. I’ll eat right now.” Afterward, Nika directed her attention towards the food in front of her.
“Nika, why are you so distracted?” Ansel couldn’t hold his curiosity, so he asked.
When asked, Nika immediately looked at Ansel, observing a feigned calm expression. Nika felt quite satisfied with successfully getting under Ansel’s skin. What if Ansel knew the reason behind Nika’s lack of focus? It would surely be intriguing. The thought of it made Nika extremely excited.
In response to Ansel’s anticipation, Nika pretended to hesitate for a moment before confiding in him. “I just texted Erica. She was so engrossed in our conversation that it made me forget about lunch entirely.” Nika admitted it with an innocent smile, as if teasing Ansel.
Upon hearing the name Erica, Ansel suddenly felt a surge of turmoil within him. Ansel was both surprised and slightly unhappy about this revelation. “Why did you text Erica?” Ansel asked, his voice filled with jealousy. “And how did you even get Erica’s number?”
“Before you were discharged, I asked for Erica’s number.” Nika innocently explained.
“Oh, I see,” Ansel muttered in a very low voice, but Nika, being close enough, could still hear it. Furthermore, Nika could also sense the mysterious and gloomy mood that had suddenly engulfed Ansel.
Honestly, Ansel was slightly taken aback by the revelation. The idea of asking for Erica’s phone number and contacting her had never crossed his mind. Therefore, Ansel now felt a sense of regret for not having done so. Then he suddenly remembered Nika’s words about pursuing Erica. At that time, Ansel didn’t think much of it; he believed Nika was just joking, aiming to elicit genuine emotions from him towards Erica. Little did he know that Nika had actually followed through with his statement. Seeing Nika’s cheerful demeanor when mentioning Erica, Ansel became curious about the current situation between Nika and Erica. Were they a couple now? Ansel felt a sudden unease and restlessness at the thought of Erica possibly dating Nika.
Once again, Nika seemed to perceive Ansel’s unsettled and imbalanced state of mind. Nika was confident that although Ansel was curious and wanted to know about the relationship between Erica and him, he would never open up and ask. Ansel might even choose to ignore it and feign disinterest. Understanding Ansel’s personality so well, Nika had no hesitation and casually said:
“Recently, we’ve been texting each other a lot, and I think Erica is interested in me too,” Nika suddenly boasted, seeking Ansel’s attention. “It’s very possible that we will soon become a happy couple, worthy of everyone’s admiration.”
Nika’s words deliberately struck at Ansel’s sincere emotions. As expected, Ansel’s heart sank at Nika’s seemingly ordinary statement. He couldn’t believe that Erica was starting to like Nika instead of him. Internally, Ansel was in complete turmoil, but outwardly, he maintained a calm façade. Ansel tried not to show any weaknesses so that Nika could infiltrate and attack his psychological vulnerabilities.
“That’s wonderful news, Nika,” Ansel reluctantly lied. “I hope everything goes smoothly for the two of you.”
“Thank you, Ansel. I’m really excited about it.” Nika pretended to be cheerful, still not taking her eyes off Ansel’s somber demeanor. Nika truly didn’t understand why Ansel was holding back and enduring like this. If it were Nika, he would live authentically with his own emotions instead of denying and avoiding them.
Ansel forced a smile in response, but inside, he felt envy, disappointment, loss, and even a sense of despair. He knew he had missed the chance to be with Erica, and it was all because of his complicated current situation. Why did fate have to play such a difficult hand for Ansel?
Ansel is currently entangled in a difficult psychological battle between affection and responsibility. He is dating Desi, but also feels a special connection with Erica. Ansel didn’t want to hurt Desi by breaking up without good reason, but at the same time, he couldn’t deny his feelings for Erica. Ansel felt confused and did not know how to solve the problem.
Ansel’s emotions are mixed, and he can’t clearly distinguish between true love and mere responsibility. He is facing a difficult decision between maintaining a good and harmonious relationship with Desi or accepting his feelings for Erica and ending things with Desi. Ansel doesn’t want to hurt anyone, but he also can’t find peace and happiness within himself. This internal struggle is causing tension and impacting all of his decisions. It is evident that Ansel is currently feeling lost. He needs significant motivation to drive him forward-a valid reason to make a definitive decision.
“You seem really happy. Is there something exciting going on?” Ansel escapes from his inner world and teasingly asks, “Is there something fun happening?”
Nika looks at Ansel and bursts into laughter. “Of course. I’m discussing with Erica our date this weekend. You could say it’s our first date.”
Ansel feels his heart tighten once again. He forces a smile and says, “I hope your wish comes true. You and Erica will make a great couple.”
Nika smiled brightly and said, “Thank you, Ansel. Your support means a lot to me. I’ll try my best.”
Unable to bear the discomfort and pain of a divided heart any longer, Ansel decides to leave early.
“I’m done eating; back to work.”
Ansel needs personal space to sort out his emotions. Ansel didn’t want Nika to have any more reasons to tease or pry into his feelings.
After saying that, Ansel walks away, but Nika speaks up to stop him.
“Wait for me, Ansel,” Nika said, standing up from her chair and walking towards Ansel.
Ansel and Nika entered the elevator and went up to the office. Nika wants to talk to Ansel, but he refuses. Nika didn’t understand what was going on. Nika looked Ansel straight in the eye, but it wasn’t the same as before. Nika is sure that Ansel is hiding something, and it clearly has something to do with Erica. Observing Ansel’s unsettling attitude, Nika wondered if he was overdoing it with Ansel.
“You don’t want to hear me out, huh?” Nika asks.
Ansel looks at Nika for a moment and mumbles a response, “Not right now.”
“What’s happened to you all of a sudden? If there’s something, tell me,” Nika insists. He doesn’t want to overlook the issue Ansel is facing, a problem that Nika truly doesn’t know about.
Ansel silently gazes at Nika and replies, “There’s nothing, really. Don’t worry about it.”
Nika doesn’t believe Ansel’s words and feels concerned. “Are you sure there’s nothing?”
“Yes, I just want to be alone,” Ansel responds again.
Then, as the elevator opens, Ansel quickly steps out, enters his office, and closes the door. Nika felt confused and didn’t know what to do. He stood in front of Ansel’s office door, looked up at it, and sighed. Then Nika left with the determination to help Ansel.