The past you think is gone
DABBY:
I knew that Damien had already tried to explain what was going on between him and the cute girl that appeared before the gate, but I kind of found it hard to believe. Given his past relationships and history with girls, he probably wasn’t the type to keep a girl that pretty as just his friend.
The way she was looking at him and the manner in which she hugged him tightly, had me so disturbed till I made my way to the cafe. I knew that I said that I didn’t want anything to do with Damien any longer, but it hurt to see him with another.
‘Why was I so complicated? Why couldn’t I just stick to one decision?’
I was having an even worse day already because of Damien and his pretty friend.
When I got to the cafe, there were few people sitting to eat, and the third shift for the evening was just starting. Mrs. Carr was behind the counter supervising every necessary activity herself, and I just greeted her with a casual smile because I was a little disappointed. I wanted to talk to her about Mum, but she seemed busy already.
Mason didn’t come the entire evening, and he already told me that he had swimming lessons to join that evening with professionals. He wanted to see how well he was doing, and his coach from his other school was encouraging him to do even better.
We had several customers coming and going, and being busy kept my mind away from every unnecessary worry and bother. The evening turned to night in hours, and there were still orders for food coming from different locations. By the time we were done, it was minutes past nine.
The other employees left after we closed for work, but I stayed behind to help Mrs. Carr finish up. We sat together to eat a special meal that she prepared for us afterward. I was really curious about the previous day, and I couldn’t wait to not ask her about anything.
“Mrs. Carr?” I called slowly in a timid voice, hoping that she was still in
the mood to talk after a long and tiring day.Owned by NôvelDrama.Org.
“Hmnnn,” She answered as she gulped the glass of cold beer in her hand in one goal, and heaved a sigh of relief with a smile the moment she dropped the empty glass cup on the table, “Yes, darling,” she said properly this time with a smile.
“The beer seemed to have done some rejuvenation in you,” I said softly as I shoved a forkful of fries into my mouth, thinking of the best way to start a conversation. It wouldn’t seem ethical to me, if I just started asking her random questions.
“Yes. I felt good drinking that. Mason’s absence in this cafe today was palpable. I can now realize how good he has really been by helping me all the time. Not all sons do that,” she praised so happily, that I could see the pride in her eyes for Mason. That was the perfect time to ask.
I waited for a while and watched her take another glass of cold beer, before I asked my question like I was being casual about it, “About yesterday, Mrs. Carr. Who did you mistake my mum for?”
Mrs. Carr first smiled at my question, which made my heart skip beats that she might not be ready to answer me, but the reverse was the case.
“It was two years or three after I came back from China, and moved to a town that was willing to take me with my low-budget plan. I had also been trying to get across to Spencer, hoping to see Damien again even if I couldn’t contact my sister.
From one of my sources and informants, I heard that Spencer had dropped Damien at an orphanage temporarily, because his new company was going through a rough patch at that time. And that the child was really sick too. I was enraged when I heard that, and tried to get more information concerning where the place was.
“And that was Paola?” I butted in.
“Yes. I moved there for a few weeks to stay around and find out if the information was true, in which the experience wasn’t as terrible as I thought. The town was accommodating, and I even got a job around really quickly at an orphanage. That way, I thought that I would be able to get as much information about other orphanages as I liked. But I had spent almost a month there, and there was no good and progressive news as I expected.
One evening, when I was cleaning the surroundings and Mason was with the other children, a lady came in a really nice dress with a child. The skies were almost dark already, and we were preparing to get the children into their rooms.
When I asked who she was, she didn’t say anything. I asked if she saw the child that she was holding somewhere, but she didn’t even answer. I introduced myself to her as Adele and told her that I worked around as a helper in case she wanted something.
She just stood on a spot with the child, and looked at the surroundings for a very long time without uttering a word. When I saw that it was not easy convincing her, I went inside to see if I could get someone to convince her to talk better than I could.
When I came outside again, she was sitting on one of the pavements around and crying really badly. I thought of offering some words of comfort to her because she seemed distressed, but she stood up immediately I got to where she was sitting and left with the child. I never saw them again. I really wanted to comfort her,” she ended her sentence with a sigh again, “I moved later on when I got a job without any meaningful information to confirm Damien’s whereabouts.”
“And you think that lady was my mother, right?” I asked slowly, because that seemed to be the only role for my mother to fit in, to make the story a perfect picture.
“I think I must have been mistaken about that. And it was evening too that day. Stress would have been a major cause for hallucinations,” she said with a smile and gulped from the bottle of water that was beside us.
“And the child? Was it a girl or boy?” I inquired again, wanting to be sure if it was a chapter that I could close. Mum’s change of countenance that day could not allow me to give up yet.
“I could not tell. The hair was cut to the chin level, and it had curls at the hair tip too, if I have not seen it wrong. Why did you ask?” I chuckled awkwardly when she asked me that, and I quickly packed the plates that we were using to eat for washing. My mind was unsettled. I was thinking badly already.
Mrs. Carr dropped me off at home after we closed the cafe, and I made my way into the house immediately up to my room. I dropped my bag to the floor immediately and opened my wardrobe to bring out an old box that I have had with me, which had everything from my childhood since we moved a lot.
Most of my old pictures that held memories were there, and so many that I really couldn’t remember again. I just put so many things in there over the years, and had never taken so much time to check everything I had stored there.
I overturned the contents to the floor and began to search for my old pictures, hoping that I would see anything that would remind me of what I think I was trying to recollect. I checked so many pictures I had, but none seemed like the old memory that flashed before my face minutes ago.
I had checked everything over and over again to be sure that I wasn’t missing something, and soon gave up when I realized that I might have been overreacting. When I pulled my clothes off and sat in the tub of water to relax, I tried to think of nothing except myself.
After I was done bathing, I walked out of the bathroom without tying a towel to my body, and only my head as I stood in front of my wardrobe thinking of the right cloth to wear. Then, something caught my attention from under the dresser from where I stood.
It was a very old metallic box from my childhood, and it seemed rusty already as I picked it up. I insinuated that it must have rolled off when I poured down the contents in my box, as I opened it to see what was inside.
There were some old pencils, hairpins, a hairband, and a scrunched-up small photograph. When I opened it to see who was in it, it took time to realize that it was a picture of me from the past standing together with a boy to take pictures. We both posed and smiled happily in the picture.
‘The picture looked familiar.’
My hair was short, and wavy in the picture, and we could both pass as boys if another person had seen it. I tried to remember if I had really cut my hair that low before, and Mrs. Carr’s words suddenly rang in my ears like a recall. I pulled a cloth over my body immediately and rushed downstairs.
“It is only a month before exams, Dabby. You should quit that job of yours, and focus more on getting into college,” Mum said as soon as she saw me rush down the stairs, and she looked like she had been sleeping the entire evening.
“Did you ever try to drop me off at an orphanage, Mum?” I asked her suddenly the moment I got to where she was standing with a serious look on my face.
‘I could remember now. There was a particular time Mum left me at some kind of place, and left for quite a long time. It seemed to have faded somewhere in my memories. Probably as a coping mechanism.’
“What…. at?” Mum looked so shocked and startled, and I was frowning really hard.
“You once abandoned me in the orphanage, right?” I asked again.