Chapter 499
Otherwise, he wouldn't have saved so many people each year, to the point of not having enough money to get his sister a heart transplant.
Besides, in Conrad's case, if I hadn't given blood, it would have been like letting him die. I really couldn't figure out Ernest Collins's intentions, and I didn't want to pretend to be confused. So, I suddenly opened my eyes, leaving no place for his tenderness to hide.
He paused as his hand caressing my face froze; the softness and pain in his gaze were unmistakable.
But after a brief stiffness, he withdrew his hand, yet I caught it faster, "Ernest, what do you mean? You obviously care about me and are hurting for me, so why are you tormenting me?"
As I spoke, my tears burst forth.This is property © NôvelDrama.Org.
guess I'm just a crier, huh?
Sometimes I think I can be tough, but tears always show up to mess things up. Let them flow if they want, especially in front of Ernest, to let him see clearly that I love him and can't bear to lose him. This way, he could also see how much I love him.
He didn't speak or even tend to my tears. Just now, he had lovingly wiped the tears from the corner of my eyes, but now that I was awake and crying, he didn't bother. His silence like this was truly driving me insane. "Ernest, what do you really want? Speak up. Why do you love me yet don't want me?" My voice became shrill, almost hysterical. "I've already told you," his voice was deep and resonant.
I shook my head. "I don't believe you. You're not someone who gets confused over right and wrong, gets jealous without reason, and even if we broke up, you're not having an easier time either; otherwise, you wouldn't be pulling all-nighters with Grant or sneaking smokes."
A few times that I passed him, I smelled tobacco on him.
His eyes narrowed slightly. "As you said, I love you, and of course, it's hard on me."
He's also struggling? These words only augmented my sense of grievance.
"Then why did you break up with me?" Ernest swallowed hard a few times, "I love you, but not to the extent of allowing you, when you are with me, to risk your life for another man."
"I said, that doesn't mean I love him, it was just..." But I only half explained when Ernest interrupted me, "Not loving him isn't enough. You being with me, your life should be mine. If you can so easily give it to someone else, that just proves you don't love me enough."
His statement was somewhat irrational, and I started to feel frustrated, "I..."
"Felicia Hudson, you said if you love, you do it fully, and so do I,
understand? He interrupted me, and those word left me no room to argue. It wasn't that I hadn't given him my whole heart, but it's also true I nearly lost my life trying to save Conrad. Like when Conrad was with me, he said he loved me, but he always neglected me to take care of Haley. Do not impose on others what you yourself do not desire.
The pain I once endured, if I have now inflicted it upon Ernest.
It was my mistake, I was wrong.
I leaned toward him, tightening my grip on his hands, "Ernest, I was wrong this time. I promise there won't be a next time, okay?"
He remained silent as I looked up at him humbly for the first time, "Ernest, I don't want to separate. I really do love you, very deeply."
My tears began again as I spoke, my chest aching with pain that made me uncomfortable.
I threw myself into his arms, hugging his neck tightly, "Ernest, let's mend things. Let's not break up, okay?" My tears rubbed against his neck, and I breathed in his scent deeply.
This feeling of regaining what I
thought was lost gave me a sense of profound satisfaction, and just when I thought his silence was his agreement to compromise, instead I heard him say, "Felicia, I am not someone who makes decisions lightly; once I have decided, I do not
change."
I felt my hands stiffen around his neck; I even dared not move. I understood his meaning: he was still determined to break up, not willing to reconcile.
"Ernest, think about it carefully. This is your only chance," my voice trembled as I reminded him.