SAVE ME

Morgan Smith

When we got there, the children had a mix of surprise and excitement when they saw all that was brought for them. The giggling that filled the air, jumping around with some church members as they explained how their day went, and playing with some of the toys brought to them was a nice and peaceful sight.

It seems like they come here often as the children are really fond of them.

A little girl, seven or eight, with golden brown hair tied in pigtails, wearing a blue and white ankle-length gown, and holding a lollipop came up to me with a huge grin on her face. I returned the smile and bent to her level.

“What’s your name honey?” I asked and she looked at her lollipop before answering me.

“My name is Angela, what’s your name?” she asked me the same question and I chuckled.

“Hi Angela, my name is Morgan,” I introduced “How are you?” I asked her.

“I am doing fine, how are you too?” she asked back.

“I am good too” I smiled and she put her lollipop in her mouth as she looked behind her. “You are very pretty Angela,” I said to her and she turned to me, giving me a toothy grin.

“Thank you, you are very beautiful too” she answered shyly “Do you want some?” she gestured to her lollipop and I shook my head ‘no’.

“Thank you and no, I am fine” I replied to her and she nod “Your favorite flavor?” I asked and she nods her head again.

“Pastor Daniel has been coming here before I was brought here to give us gifts and many more, he also tells us about his very good friend, JESUS who loves all the little children of the world” she grinned as she said them to me.

I could see the excitement in her as she spoke those words to me, she also taught me the song about JESUS and his love for the children, I think I heard that in Sunday school while growing up.

It was fun learning something from her then a question came to me.

“Thank you for sharing all these with me” I thanked and she grinned. “You said you were brought here, do you know your family?”

“No, I don’t. I grew up here since I was a baby, I guess” she shrugged “But Bianca told me that Pastor Dan has been operating his ministry for a long time now and this place isn’t the only place he goes to. I know that he blesses people and children both in town and out of town. He is a really nice man, a GOD sent like she’ll say” she tells me and I nod my head.

“That’s great to hear, have you told Pastor Daniel how grateful you are?”

“Yes, we do that always and yesterday was my birthday”

“Oh, happy birthday, how old did you turn?” I asked and she showed me her five fingers then four.

“Nine, I turned nine yesterday” she grinned “You know there’s this monthly birthday that is been done here like if you are born in January, at the end of the month, a party will be thrown for all celebrants of that month but we get gifts on our respective birthday, that is just a family thing here”

“Really? That’s nice” I said to her and pinched her cheek lightly which made her giggle.

“I need to go play with the other kids, see you around Morgan” she waved at me and ran outside to meet the other kids.

She looked happy, even when she didn’t know her real parents or family, she isn’t even aware if they were killed just like mine, they left her or whatever but she is just happy.

“Oh, there you are Morgan” I turned to the voice of Ann “You met with Angela already?” she asked when she looked outside and saw Angela and some other kids playing together.

“Yeah, I did” I answered with a smile “She’s adorable” Ann chuckled.

“I know right? She draws too and has a nick for designs and all those related stuff. I was going to introduce you to her since she has always wanted to meet with one” she said and my eyes widened in surprise and amusement.

“But I am not popular and not really a great designer,” I said to her.

“She wants to meet a designer, not a celebrity designer, and mind you, you are already a celeb and your works are great, how many times do we have to go over this?” she placed her hands on her hips and I grinned.

“Sorry mum” I apologized and she shook her head “Have you seen Ricardo yet?” I asked.

“Err… I think I saw him with Pastor Daniel some minutes ago” she says as she looked around.

“Okay, how long have you known Angela?” I asked and she looked at me.

“Since I joined this church and when we went on outreaches like this, that should be about like, three… four years ago” she replied and I nod my head then looked outside at Angela who raised her head from the building the Lego and looked at me then she smiled before getting back to what she was doing.

“Okay,” I replied then I looked at her and smiled.

I think she noticed some a bit off about me but I was glad she decided not to ask now. I don’t think I want to talk about anything now.

Ricardo White

The service was really amazing today and I am so glad that Morgan was able to come with us. I rarely ever go though but going to the LORD’s presence is a beautiful thing. Minutes after the service closed, we all went to the ‘LOVE&HOPE’ orphanage for outreach.

This ‘Give for a Smile’ program has been going on for a long time before Ann invited me to this church. I loved the aim of the program and that’s why I gave my full support when I knew how I could/make people smile… little kids, older kids, teenagers, adults… it’s a great opportunity for me and a privilege for me to partake in it.

It was pretty hard for me and my brother and when we were growing up, although money really didn’t seem to be the issue for us since we are well like everyone got their own problems to deal with, it doesn’t always have to be finance related. Our dad was with us but we were still pushing to be okay then he died and it got worse.

I was so devastated, weak to the bone and I was in high school while Richard was just getting into high school… those were memories I just didn’t want to remember or think about… I am just glad that I have my brother with me, then there’s Morgan, who can lighten up your day with her beautiful smile, and Ann who’s there as our mother, I am just grateful to GOD and glad that I could bless lives through this.

“Pastor Daniel?” I called the pastor in charge.

He was speaking with an elder in the church, Mrs. Curt… I think that’s her name, he turned to me when he heard me call him and smiled then gestured for me to hold on as he continued talking with her.

I turned around as I watched the kids running around, playing, the older ones were reading, some formed a cliché, talking, laughing… just having fun.

“Ricardo!” I heard a squeal from behind me and knew who that voice belonged to so I immediately turned to one of my favorite people in the world.

“Angela!” I said with the right amount of energy she said my name, I went on one knee and opened my arms wide for her to get in my embrace, which she did and I lifted her up and then twirled her around as she held onto me and giggled.

“Ricardo! you came” she said when I set her on her feet and crouched to her level. I tapped her nose lightly and then nod my head with a grin on my face.

“Yes, I did as you can see. How are you, princess?” I asked and she grinned.

“I am good, how are you doing too?” she inquired back.

This girl has so much energy, I wouldn’t lie. It could sometimes be a hassle to match hers but you’ll love her when you get to know her better.

“I am doing fine, princess” I replied then kissed her cheek which made her giggle.

“I was sad when Ann said that you couldn’t come the last time,” she tells me with a pout I chuckled then brought her in for a hug and she wrapped her little arms around my neck then I stood up.

“I’m so sorry about that princess,” I apologized “I…” I paused as I searched for the right word to say “I had some issues to attend to then, that’s why I couldn’t come” I replied and she answered with an ‘oh’.

“I am guessing that you already have it sorted” she looked at me and I smiled.

“By GOD’s grace” I smiled “And, I didn’t forget, okay? Happy birthday, princess” I wished her and could see how her face lit up when I said those words.

“You didn’t forget” she hugged me again and I chuckled.

“Why would I forget?” I asked then set her on the floor again “I know it was your Alvis and Richmond’s birthday yesterday” I said and she giggled again.

Alvis and Richmond are twin brothers, they are actually triplets but they lost their sister when they were four or five, and now they will be turning eight.

She took me by my hand and began dragging me “Come, let’s wish All and Rich a happy birthday” she said and I smiled “Are you going to be here for the monthly birthday celebration?”

“Yes, I would and if I have an appointment that day, I will try to push it to another day,” I said and she looked very pleased.

When we were there, I saw about four boys aged five to nine I guess, and about seven girls within the same age range.

Al and Rich are the little boys wearing a lilac shirt with a pair of black jean trousers, matching their clothing with a black and white sneakers, their blond hair is styled to the back perfectly. I am really pleased that they treat their kids here really well.

“Ricardo!” the kids cheered when they saw me with Angela. Even I am equally happy to see them again.

They all came to me and surrounded me in a big hug, when they moved back from the hug, I bent to Al and Richmond’s level and wished them both a happy birthday at the same time. They were really happy and we talked for a while, they talked about things they have been up to, their academics who won a spelling bee prize and I gave them my undivided attention.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and looked up to see who that was and saw it was Pastor Daniel, I guess he was through with the elderly woman so I excused myself from them and told them that we will talk later before following Pastor Daniel away from them.

“They seem so fond of you” he commented when we were some feet away from them and I chuckled.

“Yeah” I replied “I feel really attached to them, who wouldn’t be fascinated by these wonderful children?” I asked and he nods.

“Absolutely” he agreed and I looked at them and then focused my attention back on him.

“How have you been?” he asked when he started walking towards the garden area and o followed beside him.

“You know that I have been great sir” I replied with a small smile and he chuckled.Content from NôvelDr(a)ma.Org.

“Ricardo child” he began and we stopped when we were by the fountain in the garden “I have known you for some years now and with what I know… what you have confided in me to share about yourself, I know that you are lying boy,” he said and I stayed quiet.

He definitely knows all about me when I opened up to him in the past, he knew about the unending issue I have with my mum and some of my struggles as I grew up, he knew about them all.

“Is it because of her?” he asked the obvious and I just sighed.

It is always her and it will always be her.

“Son, I can’t tell you what to do and what not to do but I will always stick to my advice on letting things go,” he said and I let out another sigh “Holding on to it never bring changes, you know that? It rather brings you to hurt and discomfort every single day of your life”

I want to believe that he is saying the truth, it feels like it but it’s not easy.

“What is the essence of holding onto something that you don’t have the power to change?” he asked and I felt a bit irked.

“Maybe if she had stayed wherever in the world she was, then it might be okay” I tried to say in a really calm voice and he sighed.

“I do understand how you feel, but holding onto that wouldn’t set you free, it will leave you in the burden prison and you will keep wallowing in self-pity and sadness and you would feel like you don’t know what to do,” he said and I tried to ignore the voice in my head saying it’s true “You are the only one that can break free from that burden you carry in your heart”

“I understand his concern over me but it’s really hard letting that go and letting her in to start over again as if nothing happened.

“Pastor, I heard all that you said and I will think about it… I will try, it’s not easy”

“I never said it was, just try”

“I heard you thank you sir” I managed a smile and he placed his palm on my shoulder.

“May the LORD continue to be with you” he said and left me with my thoughts.

I went outside the building and sat on the stairs as different thoughts went through my mind. I wouldn’t lie but he isn’t wrong about the letting to go thing, it’s for my peace of mind but I really do wish that it was that easy to do, I really do wish.

I wish things didn’t go like they were now and maybe then, I would feel better or… I don’t know, things might be better for sure but…

I despise her a lot… so much that thinking of her makes me hurt and angry, she infuriates me and I hate it because I have always dreamed and wished that she came back but now that she is back it feels like my heart was hungry for the wrong thing and it leaves me so confused.

But what about my peace of mind? My sanity? My mental health? Will I let this disturb me and somehow affect how my future would be? I don’t know, I really don’t know.

The thoughts just kept coming when I felt someone’s presence behind me before the person sat beside me and put their head on my shoulder. I smiled because I knew who it was so I put my arms around her and kissed her hair.

“I was looking for you everywhere,” she began, “Ann said that you were with Pastor Dan and I didn’t know where you disappeared to so I have to check outside since I couldn’t find you inside,” she said and my smile broaden.

I think I made my decision already.

“I just had some things to discuss with him that’s all” I answered and she raised her head from my shoulder to look at me.

“Are you fine?” she asked and I nod then kissed her nose.

“I am now” I replied and she grinned then rest her head back on my shoulder, I pulled her closer and she replied ‘okay’.

I won’t let my past control my present.