Shattered Souls (Guardians of the Maiden Book 3)

Von tugged his thick wool coat tighter around his face to keep out the icy air. The night was bright with a full moon in the sky. It reminded him of Dyna and her werewolf cousin, he wondered where they were now.

Flurries of thick snowflakes came down with Azure’s first blizzard of the season. The bitter cold bit against Von’s cheeks and chapped lips. He tucked his head lower into the collar of his lapel coat for some protection. It was pulled high around his neck and ears. The thick wool did well to keep the icy cold air out, but his legs felt numb.

The hooves of his gray horse clopped through the slush on the cobblestone streets of Indigo Bay. He lowered his head against the howling wind. The hour was late and not a soul was in sight. He blinked his bleary eyes at the empty roads. His face was shrouded in a thick beard that he hadn’t shaved since leaving for his mission. A month had passed since he departed. The journey to Indigo Bay had been lonely and cold.

Von spotted the sign to the Corvus Tavern in the modern side of town. The frozen masts of Tarn’s ship are slightly visible past the roof. It was docked at the tavern’s private port. The raiders would be there but he knew his master would be at the tavern.

Von dismounted and a child came out to take the reins silently. Flashes of the night in Beryl Coast and the morning tried to enter his memories. He didn’t allow the faces of his companions to enter his mind. He couldn’t think of them now.

He entered the quiet luxurious lobby of the Corvus Tavern. The lavish lounge was made of black marble floors, dark wood wainscoting walls. The ceiling was dark and coffered in an elegant design. Large crystal chandeliers flickered overhead. The heavy dark wooden tables and chairs were empty of patrons for the night. Two elegant staircases lined in a red velvet carpet flanked the left and right walls. Against the back wall was the bar shelved with several bottles of alcohol and glasses. The tavern only provided lodging for people wishing to remain discreet and with the means to pay handsomely for it. It was the reason why Tarn preferred it and trusted to leave his ship in their port while he had traveled through Azure.

Von spotted a well-dressed woman standing at a podium, writing in a thick guest book. He made his way to her and cleared his throat.

She smiled at him politely when she recognized him. Her dark eyes flickered to what he carried in his arms, but her expression remained well-schooled. “Sir Conaghan, welcome back.”

He nodded.

She took a key from out of sight and handed it to him. “You’re on the right. Your master is in suite 206. He has reserved room 207 across from him for you and your servant.”

His throat bobbed at the mention of Yavi. It was unlike Tarn to put her in a room. She always stayed with the camp or in this case, the ship. He must have wanted to keep her close to immediately translate the Sacred Scroll upon its arrival.

“Thank you,” Von said, accepting the key.

He strode through the quiet lobby and slowly walked up the staircase. His heartrate began to increase in rate as he neared the second floor. He didn’t know what he would say to Tarn when he saw him. He was out of excuses. This one failure he didn’t expect to survive, he only wished to see his wife one last time.

He reached the doors and stood unmoving between the two of them. Von knew which one he wanted to choose and which one he had to. He closed his eyes, knocked and entered.

Tarn glanced at him indifferently where he sat in a chair by the fireplace. He was dressed completely in black; warm wool breeches, a long sleeved tunic and high calf boots. His legs were crossed, on his lap rested a book he was reading as he rested his chin against a fist. His white-blond hair fell over part of his face, shadowing the ugly scar crossing his features from brow to lip.

“I was beginning to think you died somewhere,” Tarn said. “You took longer than anticipated.”All content © N/.ôvel/Dr/ama.Org.

His pale eyes flickered down to what he carried. Von closed the door behind him and carried all that remained of his team to the bed. Len’s head lolled on the pillow as he laid her down. The left side of her temple was black and bruised, a gash marring her face.

Von went before Tarn, got down on his knees and bowed his head to almost touch the floor. “Forgive me, Master…” It was said out of habit but he had no hope that Tarn would. He felt his master’s gaze boring into his skull. “Len lives, but she has not woken, and I have no hopes that she will.”

Olsson made for the door. “I will call for a healer.”

The door shut behind him. All that was left was the crackle of firewood in the still silence.

Tarn’s voice was so deathly soft it sent a chill through the air. “What happened?”

“We were confronted by a Xián Jīng assassin. He came for the Scroll.” Von raised his head enough to see him straighten at the news. “We were the only ones to survive. The others…I buried them in the temple ruins.”

Tarn was unresponsive for a long time. Von didn’t dare move or say more. The room was quiet with the soft crackling of burning wood. The strong winds rattled the windows, howling and wailing, carrying the voices of the dead.

 “Novo was the first to fall.” Von straightened from his bow but remained on his knees, keeping his eyes low. “His death came unawares and swift. He didn’t suffer. Len was struck and Bouvier died next. Elon…” Von swallowed. “…fell after. They fought bravely.”

The leather of Tarn’s chair creaked as he slowly leaned forward. “Are you telling me that one man defeated five of my best? Out of all of you, I would have counted on Elon’s survival.”

Von swallowed the dryness in his throat. “We nearly had him, Master. But he laced his weapons with Fengu and wounded Elon.”

Tarn sat back. “Did he bleed from his eyes and ears?”

Von dared to look upon his face. Tarn gazed into the fireplace, his pale blue eyes gleaming with the firelight.

“If you feel guilt, it’s pointless. You wouldn’t have been able to save them without the antidote,” Tarn said. He glanced up at the mirror above the fireplace. “What of the scroll?”

At Von’s silence, a draft seemed to blow through the room.

“You don’t have it.” Tarn lifted his goblet. “And yet you bothered to return knowing what it meant.”

He lowered his head. “I accept my punishment, Master. No one is to blame for this but me.”

“Why did you come back? I would have assumed your death along with the others. This was your perfect chance to flee.”

Von didn’t even consider it. He returned because of Yavi. “I have nowhere I would rather be,” he answered honestly.

Tarn looked at him then, but there was no anger in his cool gaze. He flicked his index finger slightly, dismissing him. “Go.”

It was so unexpected Von wasn’t sure if he heard correctly.

“I won’t kill you tonight,” he said, picking up his book. “I’ll leave that for tomorrow.”

Von stood slowly and started to back out of the room. He struggled to understand why Tarn was giving him another night of life, but he wouldn’t question it now.

He left Tarn’s room and came to stand in the hallway. The golden numbers of 207 on the door seemed to glow. The key shook in his fist. Would she even want to see him?

Something moved from the corner of his sight. Someone disappeared around the corner before he could get a clear look, but he recognized the auburn air, the narrow shoulders. Von rushed after her and glimpsed the ends of Yavi’s cloak before she drifted down the stairs.

“Yavi?”

She didn’t pause. Didn’t stop to look at him. She kept going, carrying a lantern out the front doors and vanished outside. Von ran after her, calling her name. He followed her outside into the bitter cold as she flitted down the streets into the shadows. But he knew where she was going.

Von slinked out of the small fishing town to the woods, going off instinct now. He soon reached a small cave where the scent of sulfur was strong. He followed the sound of bubbling water and spotted her lantern and cloak on the ground.

She stood with her back to him.

“Yavi…”

“Don’t come near me,” she said. “I thought long about us, Von. Sometimes I feel like we knew each other better before. When you were the commander, and I was the slave. Everything was clearer back then. Now everything is muddled. A dirty pool where I no longer see my reflection. I’m constantly confused and hurt by the decisions you make. I’m tired of waiting for you to do something. How can we have a marriage when I don’t know you? I don’t think I ever truly did, and perhaps you never truly knew me.” Her voice caught with the tears he knew were welling in her eyes. “We should never have gotten married.”

It crushed him to hear that, and the back of his eyes stung. He choked on pain and fear and loss. Wretched desperation. He couldn’t lose her like this.

“Yavi, please let me explain.”

She turned around, her wet eyes shone in the faint light. He took a step but she shook her head.

“Letting you near me is what led to this mess,” she said. “It’s not going to get us out of it. Perhaps if we could go back in time, then we could have prevented destroying ourselves.”

“I…destroyed myself a long time ago,” he said, taking another step and another. “I lead a different life before you, and I have done things from which I’m ashamed. My sins have chained me to a vile existence I earned. You’re right. I should never have let myself want you.” He cupped her cheek and brushed her tears away with his thumb. “I never once deserved you, Yavi. Never. But I will sooner drop to my knees and grovel at your feet for a mere shred of your forgiveness than to bear your hatred.”

His cheeks grew wet and he pulled her close, breathing in her scent. This was why he came. He wouldn’t have tomorrow with her. Tarn all but assured he would die by the next sunrise and this was his last chance to do right by his wife. He had to hold her one last time—before he set her free.

“I spent the last month missing you, wishing to crawl back to you by any means. I’m finally here. I will do whatever you ask. I will give you whatever you need. But please…” His voice broke. “For one night, please don’t turn me away. I don’t know how else to tell you that you have my heart.”

“Why do you have to say things like that?” Yavi hit his chest, more tears spilling down her cheeks. “I’m so angry with you!” She continued to beat his chest, and he let her. He would take it all. “I think I do hate you. I do. I hate you. I hate you.” Yavi fell against him, soaking his shirt. Her whole body shook with her sobs. “But even when it feels like hate, I cannot stop loving you.”

Von held her, silently crying with her. She would hate him even more come the morning when he left her alone in the world for good. He couldn’t stand knowing he wouldn’t be around to protect her, and even worse that she would carry this resentment for the rest of her life.

“What do you need from me?” Von begged. “Whatever you want, anything, I will give it to you.”

Even if she wanted to run now, he was insane enough to do it.

Her hazel eyes lifted to his. He beheld the depths of gold and green and her brows curved with a with such a sweet sadness, he hated himself for ever making her cry. Von brushed the hair from her face and simply looked at her, memorizing every soft curve of her face, breathing her in. If only she knew how much of him was hers.

“We will speak of our problems tomorrow,” she said. “You said you would give me anything I want. Tonight…I want you.”

That was all he needed to hear. Von picked her up her stiff body in his arms and carried her to the spring. It was dark but the moonlight outside and the lantern cast enough light to see the steam rising off the pool, and her tears continuously falling. Each one was a stone piling inside of him as he cried with her.

Setting Yavi down by the edge, Von reached for her waist, trailing his hand up her back to the loose laces of her bodice. He pressed his mouth to her shoulder as he pulled each tie free and simultaneously kicked off his boots. Yavi lifted her arms, letting him pull the dress over her head. She removed his coat then tugged off his shirt. He held her gaze as her fingers unbuckled his belt, leaving his trousers to drop at their feet.

The way she was looking at his body from beneath her lashes, the pink pooling in her cheeks, it elevated his pulse and flooded him with warmth. Sliding hands to the back of Yavi’s waist, Von pulled her bare body flush against him. He tracked the path of her fingers tracing the scar at the center of his chest.

“Every time I see this…” She looked up and her eyes were fractured. He had earned the scar during her first week at camp when another had attempted to take her for his own. By luck, the Raider’s knife had missed his heart, but Von’s didn’t.

“To be clear, I’m still angry…” she murmured in the pocket of space between them.

“I know.”

“Don’t stop kissing me…”

“I won’t.”

He gently pressed a kiss to her nose, over the tears on her cheeks, her forehead, her hair, until finally her lips. Her mouth didn’t open to him. She was unresponsive, except for her pulse fluttering at her neck, and the hitch of her breathing.

If somehow Von lived past tomorrow, he wondered if earning her forgiveness was possible. He wondered if they could repair what they had, or if it was too late. The thought made his chest spasm.

Not once did he ever deserved her, but the first time Yavi had kissed him he was done. Every rotten, battered, and scarred part of his being belonged to her. Von had wanted her so much, he needed her like the earth needed the sun, even if it meant losing his head.

Because without her, he had nothing.

So Von held her to him and pressed gentle kisses to her face and lips, until the stiffness melted from her body. Yavi leaned into him with a sigh, as though in defeat. Her hands climbed up his spine and roamed the span of his back, leaving behind a trail of sensations that sank through his body. She brushed her lips over his bruises and cuts ever so gently. So faintly. Like the brush of butterfly wings leaving wishes on his skin.

And suddenly he didn’t wonder anymore.

Von picked her up again, carefully climbing the stone steps into the hot spring. The heated water felt perfect. It rose up his legs as he moved deeper in, deepening every kiss. His feet reached the bottom and he shifted her weight to wrap her legs around his torso, and her arms circled his neck. Yavi’s body felt fuller in his hands, her hips wider. He felt her heat pressed where he craved her and it stirred a wild desire. Her tongue slid against his, making him groan. And when she rocked against him, he was a hairsbreadth from snapping out of control. It had been so long since he last had her, he might buckle sooner than he wanted.

Von forced himself to place her on the edge of the spring and took a breath. “Gods, Yavi,” he said raggedly. She smiled, knowing what she did to him. And that single most beautiful action squeezed all the air from his lungs. He dragged a thumb across her soft, plush mouth. His favorite feature. “No matter the rise of the day or the fall of the night, I find that my lips will always seek yours.”

She gave him that same fractured look again. The one that knew the truth.

He was enthralled by her.

Von kissed her again, but it was hungry, and demanding, and demolishing. It was a mess of tongue and teeth. Her legs wrapped around him, pulling him closer. Taking a fistful of her hair, he tugged gently to expose her neck. Yavi panted and her nails dug into his arms as his mouth traveled along her jaw to her throat.

“Only the gods know how much I missed you,” Von breathed, inhaling the delicious scent of her. She smelled so good. Her skin so soft. “I dreamed of this,” he said as he gently nipped her shoulders. “The feel of you.” He grazed his teeth on curve under her ribs, then the sweet crease of her thigh meeting her hips. He took that sweet mouth in his, nibbling her bottom lip. “Of your taste—”

Von groaned out a curse when she rolled against him, desperate to reach that spot, to alleviate the ache, and he was halfway to madness.

“Von,” she pleaded.

“You need me,” he growled.

“Please…”

The water lapped on the edge loudly as he helped her rock against his abdomen. He consumed every twitch of her face and soft moan. He could feel her pulsating. Holding himself back was unbearable. But he couldn’t get enough of this, of her coming undone before he even took her.

“Where, love?” He pinned her hips down in place to stop her from moving. Yavi whined in protest. He hovered there, right there. All of him tight and hot, but not in. Not yet. “I want to hear you say it. Shall I…” He brushed his mouth against the shell of her ear as he whispered everything he desired to do to her.

She whimpered his name in a breathless plea and that finally snapped his control. But when Von grabbed her wet thighs, Yavi suddenly flinched away from him. He was confused at first until he looked down at her leg. Not much could be seen in the low lighting, but he could feel the textured skin. The scars left behind from the fire.

A knot of emotion constricts in his throat, and he wanted to kneel in front of her and say he was sorry, that he should have been there, that he should have run with her, that it would never happen again. But that’s not what she needed.

“Love.” He cupped her cheek and made her look at him. “There is not a single part of you that I don’t find beautiful.” Lifting her leg, he planted a reverent kiss over the scar on her ankle. His mouth trailed up her calf to her knee and kept going. “To me, you will always be perfect.”

He kissed along her inner thigh, inching toward that spot that he knew called for him. Yavi panted in anticipation, one hand bracing her against the ground. Her breath hitched when he was an inch away then he pulled back and started from the other knee.

She moaned his name in protest.

Chuckling, he closed his mouth exactly where she wanted him. She gasped, one hand weaving through his hair to the back of his head. He fed on every sound she made, on the very essence of her being. And Von mourned because he wanted all of it.

All of her.

The worshipful kisses, the filthy words, the joining of their bodies, and idle days. The bad ones. The good ones. The highs and the lows. Every inch, every hour, every moment with her, he wanted them all.

But he couldn’t tell her there would be no more. He wouldn’t take this from her, too.

Tonight, would only be theirs.

Yavi breaths sharpened and Von felt her pleasure climb, felt her grow hotter, her fingers near bruising on his shoulders, until the sounds of her splintering filled the cave. She collapsed on the edge of the pool, shuddering as bliss swept her away. Leaning over her, Von brushed the sweaty strands from her temples to see her better. It was mesmerizing—the look of ecstasy trembling on her face, the pink flush of her skin. But he wasn’t finished with her yet.

He possessively took Yavi’s throat, lifting her mouth to his. “You own every part of me. I will prove it to you all night long, if that’s what it takes. For as long as you will have me.”

That lit a fervor in her eyes.

Yavi’s arms clamped around his neck, her lips crashing against his, demanding he keep his word. Von hauled her back into the hot spring. Her legs clamped around his waist and he lined her hips with his. She gasped as they seamlessly joined.

He groaned, nuzzling his face into her throat. “Gods, Yavi, you feel so…”

Utterly perfect.

She kissed him, slow and deep as they moved. His hands roamed over her skin, needing to feel all of her. He would never tire of this. Of making love to his wife, of holding her, and knowing her. Of every pleading sound he could draw. She needed more so he yielded to her wonder, and gave her everything.