The Glimpse of My Past

Diane’s P. O. V.

But I just didn’t get it. I was only waiting at a bus stop to get home last night. I dressed conservatively, I didn’t wear any makeup on my face, and I didn’t look like a prostitute! So, why would they kidnap me? Why me? Should I be thankful that only one man took away my virginity and I wasn’t gang-raped? Hell, no way!

My lips couldn’t stop quivering as I continued to shed painful tears. I was still sobbing my heart out while sinking myself in the shower when my bathroom door opened and Mom strode in.

She quickly approached me to hug my naked body. She was already soaked in the water before she turned off the shower knob. Concern was evident on her face, and I couldn’t help but burst into more tears when she opened her mouth.

“Diane, what happened? Are you okay? We are already worried about you since last night! Why are you crying? You can tell Mom here. Is there something wrong? Where did you go?” Mom threw me a series of questions I didn’t even know if I still had the strength to answer.

I felt so weak while slowly wrapping my arms on my mother’s torso. “M-Mom, I’m sorry. I should have stayed here in the house yesterday. Hadn’t I left, this would never happen to me. Mom, I was abducted last night. I don’t know them, and… and…” I could not continue anymore on what I was about to confess to her when I suddenly lost consciousness.

An abrupt impulse dragged me away from the bed. With shallow breathing, I began checking myself and the whole place. It was already morning. I was sweating profusely even though the air-conditioner was on. I just woke up from another dream, but why does it seem that this place wasn’t my bedroom?

Non-stop and raucous thumps on my chest soon followed. Why does it seem that I was in the same room from my nightmare? Why does it appear that my nakedness was also covered by the same comforter sheet and there was also a naked man lying next to me? The confusion began eating me as I hugged myself in fear and looked at the man whose back was facing me.

Then, everything that happened last night progressively sank into my brain. I came here to my boyfriend’s unit to ask him about what Lorenz had told me. It was about Liam’s past that was bothering me yesterday. Beside my naked body was Liam, and as far as I could remember, we made love last night in contrast to my nightmare-where I was mercilessly raped. I sighed in relief.Published by Nôv'elD/rama.Org.

I was the one who triggered Liam to make love to me. I asked for this intimate thing to happen. Every part of me truly loved the heavenly pleasure that we shared last night, so I couldn’t blame him if he took away my virginity. In the first place, I gave it to him wholeheartedly.

Until now, I could still feel the excitement that I felt last night while we were doing it. His every kiss and caress to my soft skin were all amazing. It was a passionate feeling, most especially when he slowly entered me. It wasn’t that painful, and I immediately adjusted to him.

It was then followed by deep sets of thrusts that were truly enchanting. Liam’s every thrust was so delicious I couldn’t help but get drowned in my sensual thirsts, leading me to scream his name. Unlike in my recurring dreams where I felt nothing but disgust, hatred, fear, and suffering.

I rose into my feet to inspect the bed sheet and saw that there was no trace of blood from there-something that quite surprised me. There should be a bloodstain there since I was only deflowered last night. I knew for a fact that I was still a virgin and what happened to us was indeed my first time.

Thoughts clouded my brain. I just couldn’t believe that I gave myself to Liam so quickly! I guessed, I really loved him for giving him everything in just two days.

While continuously engaging myself in deep thoughts, I just decided to pick and wear my panty, but before I could do that, I abruptly stopped. My facial expression sank faster than a coin on a pond, and I was able to cover my mouth before I got jaw-dropped. My whole body was obscured with a great shock when I saw that Liam also had a brownish mole on the lower left part of his back.

It seemed like my shock was not enough on what happened next. My skin became icy with panic and as pale as white itself.

When I slowly wandered my eyes around to see his whole bedroom, my eyes stretched even wider when I saw that the wall near the foot of his large bed had the same hanged picture frame of a graduating man who was none other than my boyfriend! It was the same charcoal painting that I saw from my dream. 

And at that very instant, it was as if a bomb had exploded around me. I didn’t know how I should feel at these times because my body only trembled with inexplicable confusion and fear.

Not knowing where I could lean on for support, I was literally brought down to my feet until my naked body fell straight to the floor. I shook my head as I never experienced such agony in my life.

The torture made me feel how my heart was ripping out, at the same time, how my head was whirling around-before I grabbed a fistful of my messy hair, then I unceasingly pulled on it to help ease this mystifying torment. Everything felt so disordered, just like a shuffled set of a puzzle.

What is happening to me? What is the real meaning of my dreams? Why is it that my boyfriend in reality, as well as my nightmare’s rapist, happens to be the same person?

No! It was all just a dream. It doesn’t mean anything!

I was left with no other choice but to stand up, get dressed and hurry out of Liam’s bedroom. When I went downstairs, everything turned out to be a déjà vu* when this was only my first time to come here to his condo unit. The setting was completely the same as my nightmare, and I would soon go crazy if I would continuously overthink about it.

Heading straight to the living room, I put on my bra, sleeveless blouse, and white uniform. Clutching my bag on my right shoulder while holding my borrowed books, I fixed myself. I was a little sore, but I could still manage. Out of confusion, I suddenly left without even saying goodbye to my boyfriend.

While leaving the LC Towers, I was sure that it was the same place in my nightmare. My nightmare was so clear that I could remember everything. But why? I couldn’t understand what was happening. At the main gate, the guard asked me what was my unit number, and I just told him that I am Liam Arthur Evangelista’s girlfriend because I honestly forgot his unit number.

He asked for my identification card to verify. I showed him my student ID, and I was surprised because my name was already included on their server. Another guard appeared and told him that Liam added me as a secondary unit owner just yesterday afternoon.

The security guards even called a cab for me and told me that I was already a VIP here, so I didn’t need to pay the driver. I just thanked them out of confusion. At least, there was one thing different from my nightmare because these guards were kind and compassionate after all.

When I got home, I decided to go straight to my bedroom after paying my respect to Mom in the living room. Actually, while I was climbing up the stairs, Mom asked me why I only came home at eight in the morning today. They didn’t receive any call or text from me last night, which was weird because I always let them know about my whereabouts, so they decided to text Karen instead.

Thank goodness because my best friend replied that we were together. Karen’s instinct didn’t let me down after all. I just explained to my mother that we did another project, so I stayed overnight at Karen’s house again. Little did Mom know that it was a different kind of project I did with my boyfriend.

That was when I got my phone in the bag and saw Mom’s missed calls and text messages from the screen. Karen mentioned that she saved me, so I better treat her next time. One message was even asking me if I was with Liam and if I already got laid last night.

God knew that I didn’t want to lie, but Mom might disown me as her daughter if she found out that I really came from Liam’s condo unit, and I just gave my body to him without even thinking. That after answering Liam in just two days, I immediately surrendered my virginity to him just because my sex drive was screaming all over my body.

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Déjà Vu* is the illusion of remembering scenes and events when experienced for the first time. A feeling that one has seen or heard something before, something overly or unpleasantly familiar.