The Love That Passed

Jared’s POV

I had been too emotional and I was thinking that I had made Colleen worried because of that. As much as possible, I didn’t want to give her any more trouble and showing her that side of me worries me. I was glad that she was strong and understood what I had been going through.

The days and weeks passed and I started to settle everything in the office. Colleen was now in her fifth month of pregnancy and I wanted to stay by her side all the time.

“Sir, we can start the interview for the secretary position.” Rodney said as he peered into my office after he knocked. I gave him a nod and I was sure that he understood what I meant, so I got up from my chair and followed him to the interview and testing room.

As I got in, I found 5 applicants consisting of 3 males and 2 females. I would want to choose all males, but I didn’t want to discriminate, so I will just do the interview and grade them accordingly. They will be working with Rodney so I guess I need to ask his opinion as well in the end.

They all got up from their seats when they saw me and Rodney get in. I motioned them to sit down so we would be able to start. Rodney asked them as well after they answered mine and I asked kind of like the way the interview went. They had been very attentive and although I only needed three of them, I was actually thinking of hiring the five of them. It would be a waste if I let go of the other two.

We ended up in a panel interview because of Rodney and the way everyone answered and responded was really overwhelming. Rodney’s interference brings out the best in their answers. They even managed to make a team decision in one of my questions and because of that, I decided to absorb them all. That is after I discussed it with my assistant.

We let them leave for now and informed them that they would be called in a day or two. I guess Rodney will be able to work well with them, especially when I am not around. “Follow me into my office.” I told him as we went out of the interview and testing room.

I sat on my chair and I motioned him to sit in front of me. He was looking at me and I guess we were both thinking the same thing about the applicants. “Tell me what you think about them,” I said, and he cleared his throat before he started telling me his points of view. I nodded from time to time and all his points were taken.

“I think you already know what to do.” I told him and he nodded, “Do it as soon as possible.” I added before he left my office and I continued working. Somehow, I feel at ease that everything will be OK in the company. After I totally settle everything, I will have to talk to Ingrid and make her come and see the company for me for the time being that I will be unavailable. I’m sure that she’s not going to say no to me if it was for Colleen’s sake. She loves her so much.

What I like about my sister is that she was always with me and very supportive of me. The only time that I didn’t have her was when she was with mom, trying to make me marry Colleen. Even with that, I realized that what she and mom did was really for my own good. I can’t imagine how my life would be if I ended up marrying Stacey and the fact that she had been cheating on me from the very beginning was clear proof that she’s not good for me at all.

Now, thinking about the time I wasted, I am happy that I still have time to spend with my wife, no matter how short it is. The greatest bonus was, we would have our baby soon and she was fighting for their lives. I was hoping that our baby would be able to take after her mom, who was brave and strong. I cannot promise that I will be a good father to her, but one thing is sure. I am happy that I am going to be a father to Colleen.

I make my to-do list when I am with Colleen. I want everything to be memorable for her and for myself. I will be left behind for sure, so I should make a lot of it so I will be able to think about them whenever I miss her. I sounded stupid, right? But the hell do I care? With only a few months left that we have to be together, I don’t have time for bullsh**s thinking about how things don’t fit me at all.

Only Colleen matters and our baby. I leaned back and had my eyes closed. I wanted to cry but I know there’s no point in doing that. What I need to do now is to be strong for my wife. Yeah, it was easier for her to say that everything was going to be alright when she was the one who was living. I will be the one who will be left alone and will be the one who will be missing her for the rest of my life.

But I know that it was hard for her. How she managed to have people gather around her only to leave them was painful enough. How much more when you knew that a life was in your womb and was about to see the world yet you will have to grow up without your mother to guide and support her in everything she would want to be? Yes, I am still here. But I cannot guarantee that I will be able to give her the kind of love that Colleen could give her.

I saw my mom struggle when my dad died. She was in a mess and maybe she was as strong as Colleen because she managed to handle everything when she needed to take care of both me and Ingrid. Will I be able to do that when the time comes? I sighed heavily at that thought. Then I remembered my mom and decided to go to her.

It was a little early so I still had time to visit her and somehow ask her what she did to survive. I need her now more than ever. With that thought, I got up from my chair and ready myself for home.Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.

Mom’s mansion was near ours and I would have to pass by hers, which made me thankful because I didn’t want anyone to see me go there before I went home and tell Colleen, which might cause her to worry. I parked my car on the porch and walked my way to the main house. I’m sure mom was in her garden this time because it was well shaded there and she could have a good rest.

Just as I thought, she was sitting on a rocking chair like every old woman does. Well, my mom is not that old, but nevertheless, she was in her rocking chair. “Mom,” I called her and she looked at me. She was shocked to see me there because I normally asked her and Ingrid to visit me and Colleen and not the other way around.

“Jared,” she said, and I walked closer to her and gave her a kiss on her cheeks. She was all smiles and I can say that she was looking good and healthy. Actually, day by day, she always amazed me at how the colors on her face started to come back. “Are you with Colleen?” she asked and I shook my head, then she offered me a seat.

“You want to cry?” she asked and I nodded. She got up from her chair and hugged me. That’s when I couldn’t stop my tears from falling. “It was hard for you, I know,” she said calmly and I continued crying. “To make things a little lighter for you to carry, think that Colleen is an angel that you managed to come across with.” she continued.

“It was hard, mom…” I said in between crying. My shoulders were shaking and I felt mom was crying as well. Maybe because she took pity on me, “You have to be strong no matter how hard it was. I remember telling Colleen that her dad had a hard time dying because he was worried about us. I told her that he was in so much pain because he had to leave us.”

I looked up at her and she looked at me with a smile on her face, “But, do you know what she told me?” she asked and I shook my head as I continued sobbing, “She said that I was the one who is, and will be in so much pain.” she added. I gave her a curious look. I didn’t get why Colleen said that,

“She said that your dad had died and won’t be able to feel or see how we are. While I am still here taking care of both you and Ingrid, I miss him so much.” I was stunned for a moment and I knew she had a point. “Every day I miss your father and I can’t do anything about it. Everyday I was in pain thinking how much I love him and he had to leave me first and see him in you and Ingrid.” she explained and paused,

“It is going to be very hard and tough for you in the future, the fact that your baby is still very young makes it even harder. But I want you to know that me and Ingrid are always with you to help you with everything that you will need, so don’t hesitate to come to us whenever necessary.” she added and I nodded my head, she smiled at me and hugged me once more. I guess mom was still missing dad and was still in pain. After dad’s death, she never looked into another man and just focused on the company as well as me and Ingrid.

I guess I will have to face everything with Colleen and be strong for her and our baby so she doesn’t need to worry about me and everyone. Mom didn’t lessen the pain I was feeling. She only made it worse by telling me that she still misses my dad every day. But what she indirectly told me is that it’d come by. The pain will never lessen or will never go away, but I will get used to it in the process and in the long run. Dad was still in my mom’s heart and that, Colleen would become, to me.

What mom had told me was a little unclear, but I am sure that just as she said, she and Ingrid are with me whenever I need them, especially when it will be forever painful for me.