Yearning For The Badboy Mafia’s Love

CALISTA RAYMONDS

it’s been three hours since I was in the room, crying my eyes out but I feel better now.

Nothing can hurt you more than seeing the one you loves every single day and knowing he can never be yours.

In as much as I’m determined to make Chase mine, I can’t force myself on him.

Forcing myself on him just because I love him and can’t control my feelings can only make me get hurt even more.

If he loves me, he should come to me and that’s it.

I walked down the stairs tiredly. After crying, I have become even more weak but there’s no way I’m going to stay in my room all day.

It time I get to control my feelings so I don’t fall and hurt even more.

Chase was sitting on the couch with his laptop, I didn’t know when he came back though but I’m glad he’s back and he’s fine.

I worry about him getting hurt after seeing him getting attacked . I know he can protect himself but it’s okay to worry about him.

Glancing at him, I reached the end of the stairs and without saying a word to him I just walked to the kitchen and take out a bottle of water.

I walk back to the sitting room and Chase was still on his laptop.

Sighing, I approaches him and sat next to him but I made sure not to be too close… I kept my distance.

Chase noticed me sit down but he didn’t say a word to me or even look at him and I guess that’s okay even if it hurts.

“Are you busy?” I asked him even though my word came out as a whisper but he heard me because he stopped what he was typing to look at me.

Then he nods and look back on the laptop but he didn’t press on any key, more like he wanted to hear what I have to say.Content property of NôvelDra/ma.Org.

“What do you wanna say?” He asked me and I look away.

I have been looking at him with his weird desire burning inside me. I hate to admit that I’m so much in love with him and I couldn’t stop myself as I seem to keep loving him even more every single day.

“Chase….” I called him and he arch his brows before looking at me.

I remained silent as I didn’t know how the word will come out from my mouth. Things are so awkward between us now and I don’t know how long it’s going to be like this.

“Is your mouth tied together? If you don’t have any thing to say then go back to your room cause I’m busy and don’t want to be distracted” he said and look back to the laptop.

“What are you working on? ” I ask him and slowly adjust to look into the laptop but he shut it down immediately frightening me.

“What do you want?” He asked and I could sense a trace of anger in his voice.

He really meant everything he had said earlier. I felt tears crowding up in my eyes as I push myself not to cry.

“Chase… Didn’t you say you’re gonna be nice to me?” I asked him and he stood up immediately.

“I’m nice to you ain’t I? Look, you’re annoying and I hate the sight of you. If you don’t have anything serious to talk about, I’ll leave the sitting room for you then since you love it” he said and made to leave but is stood up and held his arm.

He stopped and stare at me and now, the tears were already falling off.

“Look at me in the eyes and tell me you don’t feel anything for you then I promise I won’t love you anymore” I said to him tearfully.

Chase smirk and look down at me cause he was taller than me.

“Why are you being so pathetic and acting like a kid?” He whispered in my ear which sent cold shivers down my skin.

“Chase .. please look me in the eyes and make me believe you don’t want me in your life. Make me believe your heart is dark and you don’t need me to lighten up your world… Look me in the eyes and make me believe you only see me as a slave and have nothing for me.” I yelled at him, hitting him on the chest.

Chase held my hand preventing me from hitting him again, I look up and stare at him. He slowly push me away making me fall on the couch.

I stare at him as he walk toward me and held my chin, he raised my head up so I can look at him. His eyes meet with mine and he smirk.

“I don’t feel any damn thing for you and I see you as nothing but my slave, or else you wanna be my play thing” he whispered to my eyes and my tears fall on my cheeks.

It hurts so much.. “You’re lying Chase… Why are you doing this to me?.” I yelled at him.

Chase walk away from me carrying his laptop.

“You promised if I look you in the eyes and say this, you’ll get rid of any piece of shit you’re feeling. I did it now, hope you have given up?” He said to me and made to walk upstairs.

I stood up and rush to him, hugging in from behind in tears.

“I don’t believe you… You’re doing this for a reason right? Is this because of Madison?”

“God! What’s your problem! Madison is died and I can move on whenever I want… Why should I be doing it because of her?” He asked me.

“Then why?… Give me a reason” I told him.

Chase held my hand that circled his waist and remove it then turn to look at me.

“Because you’re acting like a little slut now. I already told you….. You mean nothing to me” he said and before I could say another word, he turned his back and walk upstairs.

I stood there and watch him disappear.. he’s not doing this because of Madison? He’s doing it because he really doesn’t love me.

I have only been with him for eight months.. how did I fall this hard for him? When did this love happened?

Seeing my self fall so much in love with a Bad Boy Mafia who’s like my family’s rival is one of the least thing I ever expected to happened to me.

And seeing him not willingly to return the same love breaks my heart even more.

Chase is my first love… I don’t imagine my first love to be one sided.

I still don’t see myself believing him. Today he’s sweet and all kind to me, making me misunderstood what he meant.

He took my first kiss, my second kiss and my third kiss without my permission and yet he doesn’t feel a thing for me.

I’m just as pathetic as Charlotte… Maybe Charlotte is even much better than me.

I fall and sat on the floor…. The same fate that brought love to me, is being unfair to me.!